Ironically Sugoi
by Kurohana806
Summary: Dave and Bro just moved to the town of Skaia, here they live above Bro's business partner Roxy, with her sister Rose. And to Dave's interest Rose's half brother: Dirk. DirkxDave sloppy makeouts with other pairings ahead, M for language and possible smut.
1. Chapter 1

Your name is Dave Strider, and you just moved to a new city.

You look around, and it seems cool enough. Though you've never heard of Skaia before, this city is actually pretty urban. Bro has started a new club here with an old friend named Roxy. He's the DJ and she gonna manage the bars though Bro keeps saying she's gonna drink everything in sight... So to make it easier she and bro moved to the same complex. Your apartment is right above hers. As totally rad as it is, this Roxy chick happens to be your pesterchum friend Rose's sis, so now you get to be psycho analyzed all the damned time. Plus now you have to go to a new school. Your last one was so uncool in a not ironic sense that this can't be any worse.

"Hey lil man we're here." Bro nudges you

"Cool. So all our shit's here right?" I nod to the apartment complex

Bro nodded "Yeah, Roxy grabbed it and threw the boxes in our pad."

"Sweet."

"But you're gonna have to order take out, too late to buy and cook shit." Bro yawned and fixed his anime shades

"It's 4 Bro."

"Don't take that tone; I worked the final gig last night." Bro smirked in an ironic fatherly voice

"Pizza or Chinese?" I grunted pulling out my iPhone to find some online menus

"Pizza" Bro says while grabbing his bag and lil Cal from the backseat

"On it" I nod and call the place up, after placing the order I turned to Bro, "20 minutes"

"Cool, get your shit from the trunk and let's check this place out."

"Yeah yeah…" I yawned I sent a pester to Rose letting her know that we'd gotten here

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]at 4:13 PM

TG: yo roll out the red carpet

TG: weve arrived

TG: in all kinds of glory here

TT: I am now gracing the hallways with flower petals for your immediate arrival into my homestead.

TG: damn straight

TG: im like a knight being all kinds of honored here

TG: bow down

TT: I am in fact bowing at this moment and adorning my very mind's castle with a celebration.

TG: whatre you a seer

TT: I rather like entertaining that thought.

TG: yall should

TT: My brother is in fact readying to welcome you like the kind Prince that he is.

Brother? Oh yeah Lalonde's got a half bro who just lived up here with his bro.

TG: your bros here too huh

TT: He is a fan of you and your brother's "sick beats" and your photography channel.

TG: well shit

TG: now im all flattered and shit

TT: Yes he is descending now to greet you and lead you to us. Your brother has now ascended here.

TG: aight im on my way

TG: gonna have a two strider party

TG: make sure to be ready to meet me

TT: I am sure I've foreseen what will happen at our festivities.

TG: well dont tell me

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering Tentacletherapist [TT]at 4:17 PM

I made my way up, my bag only had my music book and some AJ for the road, gotta have that shit ready at all times. All times…

"Hey" I hear someone call for me, whoa, it's a younger Bro…

"Sup?" I nod

"You Strider numero dos?" He doesn't sound like he's asking but I go along with him

"As if anyone else could be so lucky." I smirked, I got closer to the dude and saw his hair was spikey but more so and he wore a black tank with an ironic hat on it. His hands had gloves too but his black jeans looked like they were covered in oil.

"Ladies are waiting upstairs." He gestures, "So hurry up knight boy" He smirks

"Well forgive me, princess." I smirked

He just ironically curtsied at me.

Touché dude…

"So y'all got a name or you gonna be princess?" I ask

"Well I might like you to be my knight in shining armor…" he smirks back

"So y'all a Lalonde huh?"

"Sorta. All kinds of crazy shit in the family might as well have been made in an ecto-lab test tube or some shit." He shrugs

"Damn straight…" I agree

We cruised up the stairs silently, I decided to flash step the rest of this flight, but the dude did it the same time as me!

Only Striders flash step…

"Huh, you're pretty fast dude." He smirked

"Not too slow either..." I almost wanted to call him bro. Even his voice was deep like his, just not as low. More smooth... shit what's his name…

"Name's Dirk" He said putting his fist out

"Dave." I nodded bumping his fist with my own

"Let's race, if I win... Rose gets to put black lipstick and a bow on your hair." He smirked

"If I win, you get the same and gotta wear one of her dresses" I smirked back

"Deal..."

"1" I started

"2" he went

"3!" We flash stepped, even trying to trip the other at a point or two, dude's fast…

"I win" I smirked as we burst through the door, I looked around and saw Rose had actually put flower petals on the ground and a red carpet was at the door

"I won" Dirk denied, Rose I guess and Bro stood up and looked at us.

"It was a tie, so what'd you bet?" Bro asked

"Loser gets a dressed up by Rose..." I told Bro

"Well you both lost, so you both do it." He smirked

"No, hell no. Fuck n-" I got cut off by Dirk's chuckling.

"Sure. Fair's fair" He nodded

"If it's a tie, we can both not do it." I shrugged

"Nah, I wanna see you all made up lil' man" Bro smirked

"As would I enjoy doing said 'making up'" Rose smiled holding up a makeup case and a few dresses, "this way brother and Dave..." She just had those ready?

"Fine" I sighed, this better be fucking ironic...

This was so not ironic; Dirk was smirking, watching me get layer after layer of makeup, and hair bows; while he just waited for his turn. I kept my shades on, no getting those off.

"Looking good lil' man… I'm gonna take a pic for my site." Bro smirked

"Fuck no" I growled

"Watch your damn mouth." He stared at me through his shades. I could just tell.

"I would watch these lips if I could but my mirrors all break. I'm so damn hot it's unlucky." I smirked

"The mirrors break because you break them." He smirked back

"Don't leave plush rump in the shower." I grunted, he knew why I broke the mirrors

"Right, Rose lemme know when they're all pretty." He waved and went toward the kitchen, "Rox, get sobered up girl…"

"I will let you know as soon as they are presentable." Rose smiled as she responded. She stood and grabbed a red dress with black lace. "This will fit you Dave." How'd she get one in my size and color? I saw all hers were purple, pink, and black.

"Why do you have a red and orange dress?" I asked

"I had a… feeling… and my good friend Kanaya made these to my specifications." Rose smiled her creepy smile

"Gotta say, this orange seifuku outfit is sugoi." Dirk smirked, well geez him and bro are going to get along fine with all this sugoi shit.

"Right, is this the 'friend' you engage in sloppy make outs with Lalonde?" I asked as I stripped to boxers. I slipped the dress on and sat on the bed next to Dirk, "Your turn dude." I waved to the chair of girly demise.

"Cool, make me all pretty Rose." He said leaning back in the chair with his arms behind his head; like he wasn't just about to get all made up.

"As you wish." Rose smiled, she started to work on his face, keeping his shades on and adding blush.

"Looking good Princess." I smirk

"You too, Lady Knight." He smirked back, "Nah… you're a squire."

"Oh snap, you've dishonored me… we're gonna have to strife later. Defend my honor and shit."

"Sounds good, I'm tired of fighting my robots anyways." He nodded

"Cool, I'll ninja up on you." I smirked

"It's a date." He smirked back

"Swoon, I'm getting all 'doki doki' here!" I fanned myself

"Psssh you're bru's getting all 'dirki dirki' bro…" I turned and saw a taller, drunk Rose.

"He's looking pretty kawaii too" Bro just smirked

"Shut up, you're just jealous I'm too sexy for my shirt, and pants, had to ditch all that shit and get a sexy dress up on here…" I ranted; I swear I saw Dirk crack a small smile. He stood up and he was all prettied up with an orange bow and the school girl outfit. He looks better in the tight tank top.

Shit, no didn't just think that. Nope.

*wrrrrrrrr click* A camera went off, I turned and saw Bro with his cell phone.

"BRO!" I shouted

"Say hello to plush rumps boys. That cool with you dude?" I glanced at Dirk who just shrugged.

"No." I said

"Lil' man, ya don't get a say…" Bro smirked

"Oh bullshit!" I pulled my sword out of my strife specibus and launched, I leapt to the hallway outside Rose's room and slashed towards Bro, he just flashed to the side and chucked Cal at me. "Jegus fuck!" HATE that puppet.

"Aaaaand, uploaded. Too late now lil' man. C-man and I win again." Bro had him back in his hands and walked out with Roxy snorting after she smiled at us.

"WONK!" I heard her yell, Rose followed them out with a small smile.

"What the actual fuck?" I sighed

"Yeah, that's the Lalonde guardian…" Dirk chuckled as he left Rose's room.

"That's the Strider's…" I nod smirking

"So… wanna chill in my room?" He nods across the hall.

"As long as I can take this dress off." I sigh

"You can wear whatever you want, or don't want dude." Dirk smiled, I swear I I could feel him winking at that.

"…cool." I grabbed my clothes from Rose's room floor and followed to Dirk toward his.


	2. Chapter 2

DemontaDark

the-awesome-insomniac

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73 This badass here even favorite it, you a good dude.

Thanks to the rad peeps above for stalking/following my story. Ya'll sugoi as shit.

Your name is Dave Elizabeth Strider and you are currently headed to a Bro-doppelganger's room, while shirtless… and you are NOT staring at the plush rump hidden by his skirt.

Definitely not.

Hell no.

Damn…

I walked behind Dirk towards a room with a Rainbow Dash poster, I smirked thinking about Bro's weird ass obsession with those things. He held the door open, and with a totally ironic bow let me step in first.

OH

DEAR

GOG

PLUSH RUMP

EVERYWHERE… I dropped my shirt in ironic fear. Totally ironic.

"Not a fan of your bro's work I take it?" He chuckled

"Let's just say Bro brings his creepy work home is all…" I shuddered internally. At least this dude only had a few, just scattered around the room. I saw him flash step to his bed and a photo frame was turned down on the nightstand next to it. I decided to leave that alone and looked around; his room had a work table next to the window by the fire escape, a queen bed, and a sweet computer set-up. The wall had a tv mounted on it and all the game consoles out , even some sick turntables.

"So what do you wanna do?" I asked as I pulled my pants on under the dress.

"I've got robots to build… uh some shitty dvds, turntables, games… and smuppets." He smirked at the smuppets bit.

"Well fuck that last one" I sneered

"That's the point dude." He laughed, "relax, I didn't. Just fucking with you."

Bet you'd like to… "Nice, hey unzip my dress." I turned and pointed to the stupid zipper on the back.

"Sure." He flashed behind me now and pulled the zipper, "Shit, it snagged hold on a sec." He tugged on it while his other hand touched my shoulder blades to level the zipper. I squirmed as I don't usually have a hand to my skin, unless Bro's strifing with me and I'm in a headlock.

"Hurry up dude." I grumble, my skin feeling tingly

"Be patient" His breath fanned over the back of my neck, the zipper started moving again, "see? Don't rush perfection man." I turned to give him a 'you're kidding' look but I couldn't. His face was way closer than I thought it'd be. His shades reflected my (thankfully) stoic face, and I decided to out game him.

"Thanks, for being my 'perfect' prince" I smirked and leaned in, "but I'll rush if I want." I backed up a step and turned away from him and slipped the dress off. I purposefully bent straight down to pick up my shirt I heard him clear his throat I stood back up with it in my hand, but didn't move to put it on. "So, robots huh?" I quirk a brow, "what do they do?"

"Well Sawtooth over there just helps me out to fight, and repair the others." He pointed to a tall bot in the corner, "Squarewave there, raps with me." He nodded to a small bot wearing a hoodie and hat. "And AR is just a royal pain in the ass, but also my portable cp." He pointed to his shades, and the lens suddenly had a beam of red go across it.

"Those shades are a computer? Sweet." I smirk, "What's the AR stand for?"

"autoResponder, he looks through my messages and shit, and if I don't feel like talking he takes over for me. Just like me in a robo-dirk sense." He sighs, "Too much like me though so he dicks around with my friends a lot though."

"Nice to not deal with jackasses on the web though." I say while sitting on his bed.

"Yeah every time I get spam mail, he sends them back pictures of fat naked dudes to the main site's homepage. It's hilarious."

"Sweet."

"Want me to hook you up with cp shades?" He asked

"Nah… I got these from… my best bro. So I'm good." I push up my shades more and stretch back to lay down on his bed not wanting to make eye/shade contact.

"Sure, want a soda? I'm gonna grab some." He nodded

"Got any AJ?" I ask

"Hmm… I don't think so."

"You totally, should, shit's delicious. I'll get it, there's some in my bag in Rose's room."

"I got it, just pick out a shitty movie or game?" He points to the bookshelf.

"Kay." I nod and stride over to look at his vast collection. Shit he's got every fucking movie Bro and I do… hmm… Oh fuck yeah. I grab the dvd and start it up. I glance at the down-turned photo, but shake my head. Everyone's got secrets. I cue it up and look round the room some more, some swords and other weapons on the walls, a skateboard looking thing on the ground by his window. Shit ton of records on his bookshelves with games and dvds... dude's got a sweet set-up with his turntables… even nicer than mine… and Bro got them for me.

"Hey, pizza's arrived so I snagged one for us." Dirk called with his arms full.

"Sweet, but I only ordered 1." I noticed

"Yeah, Rose ordered more… she's got crazy ass intuition or something." He shrugged and sat next to me on his bed, he saw I chose 40 year-old virgin and chuckled.

"I think she's a seer or some shit." I recall as I grab a slice of heaven. Heh, that was such a shitty pun it was ironic… nice. I hit the play button and bit into the gooey awesomeness of a greasy everything on-it pizza.

"Seer huh? Then I guess I'll just stick with Prince." He grinned a little, "And you'll be my knight right?" I could feel his eyes fluttering behind those shades.

"Hell yeah, get all that honor and glory, make the towns girls all fall to the ground as I drop from my horse like I'm hot. Well, hotter." I smirk.

"Swoon dude. Mad swooning going on over here." He shifted so he sat next to me at the head of his bed, leaning on his orange and black pillows. "Nice movie choice."

"Yeah, I mean hairy dudes getting waxed? Count me in."

"Kinky." He smirks

"Oh yeah baby, wax on… wax off." I played back

"Gonna have some rad moves by the end…" He leant by my face and licked it. "Pizza sauce… just a 'wax off.'" He then flashed away to the other side of the bed.

Touché dude.

And game on.


	3. Chapter 3

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73

Thanks to the bro/sis above for reviewing, that shit makes my heart do acrobatic fucking pirouettes. Merry Christmas all, and to all a bitchtits night.

You're still Dave Fucking Strider and you have been issued a challenge.

The challenge: to be the most ironic flirt…

Score is 1:1 you and Dirk.

Game on.

I sat on the bed with him watching the movie and saw he was still in still in his dress. "You gonna be in drag all day?"

"Meh. Does it bother you?" He glanced at me, but I faced forward.

"Nah, just thinking back on it, I guess you're still princess." I smirk

"You're just jealous I'm way cuter than you." He shot back

"Bullshit, I'm kawaii as balls."

"Don't think balls are that kawaii." He laughed

"Fuck you."

"Right now?" He asked. Shit 2:1 Dirk…

"As long as you keep the dress on." I smirk, yeeees, 2:2.

"Think I'd rather it off." He touched my arm and I glanced at him, face straight save for a telltale corner up...

"Think I feel the same." I turned toward him.

"Hey lil' man, we're out. You got school tomorrow." Bro's voice rang out. I sighed and pulled my shirt on.

"Kay Bro." I turn to Dirk, "See you tomorrow then?" I ask

"Guess so…" He replied, and pulled his own dress off. "Unless I'm in your dreams Dave."

"Oh dude, you're in my dreams, all of them." I nod and stroll out, swaying my hips a little. I feel a flash go by and I check my pocket, in orange ink on a piece of My Little Pony paper is timaeusTestified. I pocket the paper and smile a bit, before wiping my face clean. "Hey Bro, ready." I nod

"Cool, Roxy, Rose we're out. Catch you tomorrow." Bro nodded

"Buh baiii Bru an Dabe!" Roxy yelled

"I will see you on the morrow Dave." Rose smiled

"Peace out Lalondes." I thumbs up and catch a fingerless gloved hand shoot out from the hallway with the same thumbs up. Dirk got me with the dream comment, but I'll get him back.

"See ya." Bro smirked and we walked toward the stairs, "so little man… how'd you get on with Dirk."

"S'okay, think he issued a challenge." I shrug

"You gonna play?"

"I'm gonna win."

"Damn straight." Bro nods before he unlocks our door, I step in and good gog not again.

FUCKING

PLUSH

RUMP.

"Roxy must've opened the boxes labeled 'Fragile'" Bro smirked

"Fuuuuuck. I'm going to bed." I head toward the room I dibs on in the virtual tour and found my bed, and furniture all in the middle of the room, and all the boxes of my shit I marked with red tape. "Cool" I stripped off my shirt again and noted my window had the fire escape by it too. I turned my phone on tp pesterchum and sent a quick message to Dirk

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]at 10:37 PM

TG: night dude

TT: Goodnight man, sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

TG: dude if they bit me theyd be all oh shit this dudes delicious and then id have a wicked infestation on hand

TT: Heh, right. Have some good dreams about me. See you in the morning.

TG: kay

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]at 10:42 PM

I tossed my phone and shades onto the ground by the bed and spun over; drifting off into my totally rad subconscious.

*\/*

"Relax dude." He breathed on my neck. I gasped as his hands trailed over my chest, before straying to my nipples to mess with like he's trying to draw Da Vinci on an etch-a-sketch.

"Dirk…" I moan, he smirks against my neck and lifts his head up some.

"I said not to rush perfection." He leans in to kiss me, "Mmm, you're like a fucking angel…" His lips press on mine and his hands trail down my torso going to the waistband of my pants. The zipper comes down and he looks at me. "Dave…"

"What?" I groan

"Wake up"

*\/*

"Huh?" I grunt as something shakes me. Shit… Bro. Hide the boner… I'm on my stomach, cool. "Whatd'ya want Bro?" I groan

"Get up you little shit, school day for you and I'm ollying out. Have a rad day lil' man." Bro smirked at me. I nod and give him a thumbs up. I hear the door close and I know I'm good.

I open my eyes and turn around; Lil Cal's just chilling at the end of my bed. "Fuck…" I give it a fist bump, grab my shades and walk to the bathroom, glad Bro's left… seeing as I'm… in a jam. I turn the shower on and brush my teeth. I step in thankful for the water's awesome magic on waking me up, and making little me go back to sleep. No time for this shit. I wash up and grab my red towel. I step out and put my shades on and check the mirror now. Hair looks good, shades in place, looking cool. I nod to my reflection and leave towards my room. I slip on some crow boxers and red skinny jeans. I throw on my broken record shirt and grab my gear printed backpack and red flamed headphones. I go to the kitchen and grab the money Bro left. Shit my phone. I totally meant to go back to my room. I stepped over or kicked the smuppets out of my way and opened my door again. I bent down and grabbed my phone, I hear a knocking sound at my window. I look up and smirk. I wave Dirk in.

"Morning" He nods

"Doors not cool today?" I joke

"Nah, brought you breakfast, figured you didn't have shit." He tossed me some smores pop tarts and I caught them.

"Fuck yeah, cool." I nod at him and unwrap that shit. I bite into it and try not to look at him too much after the dream I had.

"You alright?" He noticed, shiiiiiiit!

"Yeah man, I'm just totally basking in the culinary awesome of pop tarts. 5 star cuisine right here." I bite into it again and he flashes toward me.

"Really?" He leans forward and bites off the end of the piece in my mouth. He flicks his tongue out and chews, finally he nods and smirks at my silence. My face is stone, but he sees something because he licks his lips slowly and says, "Yeah, that's a breakfast of champs right there." He turns around and flash steps through the window to the fire escape, "I'll be back with Rose in a few… we're giving you a ride to school." He then leaves me there with pop tart in my mouth and I feel my face finally move. I sit on my bed and look at the pop tart.

That's 3:2 Dirk and he's stepped up the difficulty level…

Fuck.


	4. Chapter 4

DemontaDark Thanks for the review, but I technically gave you 2 in 1 Christmas, cut me some slack I got like 11 stories on Wattpad and one's been running well. I'M A BUSY CHICK! But total thanks for digging the story yo.

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73 Yet again dude you review and flatter me. The shout outs go to the fans that actually bother to say "hey dude, nice job." Or even click the follow button cause they're liking the words I'm putting down, so thanks you're totally cool.

Please anyone, ya'll got criticism, shit you want more of, or even just wanna say "good chapter" lemme know, flames are fine as long as there's something constructive in them, and compliments are *ALWAYS* appreciated.

Now enjoy:

You are continuingly still Dave Bitchtits Strider and now you're challenge is to be even more flirty than a dude who played the baby bird and ate from your mouth. You now need a plan.

And you've got one cooking up…

I stroll to Bro's room and dig in his box labeled "Sugoi Shit" after I dig through MORE plush rump, felt, satin, and even velvet (for the fancy pluck fuckers) I found Bro's boxes of Japanese stuff. I dug through it and found what I needed. "Sweet…" I smirk I took the small box and saw a small SAW puppet with its camera, "Bro, need this to one-up in the game. Pay ya back later." I then left his room and put the box in my backpack. Cool, I'm set for school. Hope I have the same lunch as the Lalondes. I hear the knock at the door and flash step to open it. "Sup Lalondes 1& 2." I nod to them. Rose just smiles

"Sup, long time no see." Dirk smirks he's in a white tee with a hat and black jeans.

"Good morning David, we're off to school now." Rose then turns, wearing her usual pink and black threads.

"It's Dave Rose, and it's been way too long dude." I smirk back at Dirk and loop my arm in his, "I was just about to wither away had you not come to get me. You woulda come by and I would've been all up on the ground all turned to ashes and dust." I ranted catching Rose's small smile. I winked knowing she'd catch on.

"Aw shit, don't need you withering on me. Here we go." He ducked down and swung my legs under to carry me princess style but I ducked under his crouched legs and kicked his legs out and caught him.

I leant in his ear and chuckled before whispering, "nuh uh bro… I'M the knight… you just get swept off your feet." I put him back up and slapped his ass before flashing next to Rose and talking to her. As we went down the stairs I caught his shades and gave him a little smirk.

3:3 now, maybe even 4:3 me since I slapped him. Yeah… 4:3 me.

Just wait til lunch Dirk.

I aim to win.

We rode in Rose's friend's car. Rose with her in the front and Dirk and I went to the back. It was a pretty sweet green Lotus. She was introduced, Kanaya she seems chill. Hell of a fashionista for sure, she wore some floor-length red skirt with a black and white "blouse" and she called it and a jade green bow around the collar of the shirt that matched the streaks in her black hair. She's pretty hot, but I know Rose is after/with her. She asked me how the dress fit, and Dirk said his went well.

"I am very glad to hear that, I have never been asked to design for men's dresses before but the experience was quite fun, and even a bit… entertaining to the idea." Kanaya said with Jade stained lips.

"Glad you're happy Kanaya, but I doubt I need anymore." I said.

"Aw really, your legs were damn sugoi in that dress. Smooth even." Dirk whispered.

"Mmm, maybe. In private…" I whispered back. His hand rested on my knee, so I put mine over his. He just twisted it and held my hand with his fingers laced between mine. I squeezed his, and oddly… the gesture seemed natural… Even though it was so intimate. I shrugged internally and rubbed my thumb over his hand and he did the same. Which obviously ended with an epic thumb war.

Obviously that needed to happen.

We pulled into the school lot and I got out. I heard a few people murmur about me, "another guy with shades?" and "why is everyone in that group so damn weird?" I heard a few girls sigh and call me cool. I just smirked, I mean look at me… 'course I'm cool.

I look and see some blond dude with purple in his hair come up and talk to Kanaya, "Hey Kan, just wwanted to say thanks for listenin to my request for a more princely costume for the play."

"It is fine Eridan, however, if you ask for another change as garish as pantaloons for your costume on such short notice again. I will cut you in half with a chainsaw…" She threatened. Shit, that's scary even to me. I mean Bro can be intimidating, but Kanaya sounds like a pissed off mom… and they're scary ladies.

"Vvery wwell. I'm sorry for that, but Fef wwas so excited for the Little Mermaid play and she wwanted everythin perfect… Especially since Sol refused to be the prince and I got it." He sighed

"Please Eridan, I do understand but you need to tell Feferi how you feel."

"I fuckin knoww that Kan… but with Sol back together with Aradia… she's just depressed… and I'm not wwhat she wwants." The guy seems damn depressed but an all-around good guy.

"If you're too slow she might be stolen by a douche though. Give her flowers or something dude. Make her notice you." I say

"Wwhat?" He asked

"Yes Dave, what was that?" Rose smiled questioningly

"I'm just saying that when you act too considerate of the other person, someone might jump in and grab that rebound cookie off the pan while it's hot. Be selfish enough to grab it yourself. Sounds like she was too slow to grab this 'Sol' guy, you want the same to happen to you?" I shrug remembering my own experience. "Just sayin…it sucks seeing the person you want not even know how you feel and getting taken away."

"That… is very good advice Dave. I'm impressed."Kanaya smiled at me for the first time. Rose nodded and Dirk… was just looking at the floor.

"Yeah… thanks…wwhoevver you are." Eridan smiled "I'm goin for it! Wwhere can I get flowwers?" He asked Rose.

"Go to the planting club, Jade must have something other than pumpkins growing in there." Rose smiled, he ran off with a wave to us. I gave a "good luck thumbs up" to him and turned to Rose.

"Jade? Jade goes here too?" I asked

"She's going to be a foreign exchange student for the rest of this year." Rose smiled, "If only J-"

"He's not." I said quickly. "Where's the office, I gotta get my time table for this place."

"I'll take you." Dirk said.

"Cool." I nod, he seemed kinda quieter after the Eridan guy was there. "You okay dude?"

"Yeah… just thinking that was a damn sweet speech you made there. I thought Rose was a therapist, but you're pretty good with words too." He smirked but it didn't look like a happy smirk. If that makes sense.

Nah, makes perfect sense…

"I guess. I just figured that he needed some motivation, even if he's shot down at least he'll know…"

"Hmm. It just struck… close to home I guess. He sits with me and his whole group at lunch, so you better join in."

"Sure thing man." I nod and go in the office, I turn in the doorway. "You waiting here for me?"

"Sure, I'll help you find your class I guess. Alternia High is confusing…" He gave me a half smile and turned around to wait.

I went to the lady with her nameplate saying Ms. Paint and lightly knocked on the desk. "Hey I'm the new kid here and I need to grab my schedule" I explained

"Let me print that for you dear, help yourself to any candy while you wait." I glanced down and she had black licorice… Scottie dogs? Random but whatever. She hands me the paper and I walk out to show Dirk.

"We have Japanese, Gym and History together…" Dirk smirked I guess Bro signed me up for Japanese again… Gog damn I'm already fluent I just don't use it… "Well let's get to Japanese." He turned around and I followed. I saw I had the usual history, math, science and English and oh… sweet Bro signed me in photography too. Wish I brought my camera.

"Hey man, hurry up or I'll have to leave you." Dirk smirked

"Pfft, I'm always right on time. I'm a gog damn Knight of Time." I nod

"And what am I Prince of?" Dirk asked

"… not sure yet. Bet it'll come to me." I say

"Cool."


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, so I leave for work, and ALL shift my phones up and ringing with alerts about you rad peeps, reviewing, and following my story. That's real fucking sweet of ya, seriously I'm all up and getting diabetes here! So I'm gonna say thanks to you guys:

Commentors:

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73:

This was extravagant! I really like how you incorporated Kanaya and Eriden with the group. The small hint that Dirk likes *someone* ;) It's really cute and I fangirled a bit when Dave swept Dirk off of his feet.

Thanks a lot for the "extravagant" I thought it was more of a luscious but that's damn good too. Glad to know I made you fan girl and I hope there will be more.

the-awesome-insomniac:  
Kawaii as hell chapter bro

Thanks dude, my kokoro is a dokidoki from you guys supporting me!

DemontaDark:  
I know i know im teasin yo!  
Srsly tho this storys hella rad XP

I knew you were teasing, I know everything bout you dude… even what you did 3 summers ago… No I don't… I don't even know what I did… but thanks for the "hella rad" you guys are all hella sweet!

New and old Favorite/followers: Thanks guys

DemontaDark

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73 Fionavus

the-awesome-insomniac

You mofos are the coolest literature stalkers I know.

ON TO THE STORY:

You are Dave Ben Stiller Strider and you're sitting in your Japanese class sensei talk on and on about sentence structure while you tap on your phone some new lyrics for a song you've been working on.

"Hey dude, Sensei's coming." Dirk warned so I flashed it away and looked interested while looking bored too.

"Dave-san, is there something you'd like to say?" Megido Sensei asked, she wore a dark red Chinese style dress with a bun held by a weird twist tie. She had big tits, and looked like an anime poster woman named Damara Megido.

"Not really sensei" I smirk

"Go ahead and tell the class why you were talking to Dirk-san in my class." She snapped

"Well, I asked why when you were in that long rant earlier; why'd you say 'that asshole won't be back' instead of kaerimasu, or return?" I said shrugging, "Just seems more fluid that way." I smirked

"…" She just looked at me before her deep red painted lips curled into a smile, "I think I'll like you in here…" She then turned around and went on with her lesson.

"So you're fluent huh?" Dirk grinned

"Hell yeah, Bro's all doki doki over anime and shit; he gets the original shit and won't let me use subtitles." I shrug

"Hmm, cool." He nods and goes back to drawing in his binder while I start remixing old beats I had on my phone. I glance at his drawing and holy shit, it looks like a perfect anime drawing. He's drawing himself on a flying rocket board. The thing looks like the one in his room…

"Pchoooooooo…" I whisper, knowing he'd hear me. I see him quirk a little half smile before he draws more to the side, now it looks like some robot shit or something. I shrug and go back to my beats before long the bell rings. "So where you off to next?"

"I have software programming with Mr. Captor, you have… physics. Oh but Sollux, Aradia and Karkat will be in there with you. Mrs. Captor-Pyrope is rad, in fact call her that, she'll be even chiller. And Sollux is her brother in law."

"Huh… is everyone here related to someone else here?" I asked

"Well… most of the faculty attended the same college that our Principal Mr. Hussie and Vice Principal Mr. Spades came from… he hired them all fresh out of college to start this place as an 'alternate' school. Thus the name." Dirk shrugged, "So I guess so."

"Huh, cool. How will I know who's Sollux, Aradia and Karkat?"

"Aradia and Sollux are madly in love, you'll notice them… plus Aradia's Megido Sensei's daughter. Karkat… will be grouchy and probably call you something rude." He chuckled, "He's a spunky fucker."

"Guess you're good friends with them?" I noted

"Not bffs yeeeet, I've only been in this town a month. But they're the kind of people you can be yourself around." Dirk smirks

"You just moved here too? I thought Rose and Roxy were here a while."

"I just moved in with them. Long… personal story." He nodded toward the room next to me, "Go learn and shit." He turned and flashed away in the nearly empty hallway. I shrugged and entered before I noticed, Dirk walked me to class…

Huh.

I shake my head and step in the class. I look and see mostly normal kids but in the back I see a short tannish kid with messy as fuck black hair ranting at a dude wearing 3-d shades just typing away at a laptop with a busty girl leaning on his shoulder. That's gotta be them. I see the teacher and she's red shades and a long teal shirt, black pants with red tennis shoes. She's dressed really casual compared to Megido-Sensei.

"Sup new kid! I'm your physics teacher, we're doing aerodynamics right now so kick back and relax!"

"Cool, rad shades by the way." I note after Dirk's suggestion

"Thanks, yours are pretty radical too!" She grins, "Go sit wherever there's a seat left!" I nod and stroll over to the guessed-Karkat. The bell rang but she stepped out to "grab her special board"

I stand by the seat and look at him, "You Karkat?" I ask

"Why do you wanna know douche-muffin?" He grumbled

"KK don't be a dick jutht cauthe you thuck a math." 3-D kid lisped and smirked, "Thith is KK, and the'th AA." I guess that means I'm right?

"MATH DOESN'T BELONG WITH SCIENCE IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT! And who the ever-loving fuck are you, and why do you wanna know?!" Grouchy asked he had a raspy voice like he yelled all the damn time.

"I'm Dave, Rose's friend; Dirk said you guys were in here." I nodded to them

"Dirk Lalonde? Huh guess it's a small world." Karkat grumbled, "Like we needed more 'ironic' or 'sugoi' or whatever shitty shade wearers…" Karkat grumbled

"Hello Dave, I'm Aradia, Sollux's the only one to call me AA. Welcome to Alternia High." She said in a cool but kind voice, her hair was a deep brown with red highlights curling to her lower back. She was tan in most places… but she had a little scarring all over her arms.

"Don't stare." Karkat whispered discreetly. I didn't bother to mention how I wore mirror shades and he couldn't tell. "By the way dick-licker, why're you wearing shades indoors?"

"If I took them off, all the girls would die." I smirk

"Thatth fucking lame." Sollux lisped, he looked half Asian or so with spiked out honey blond hair.

"You can call it what you want bro, I'm just protecting all the ladies here from losing their minds… and panties." I smirk, then I remembered something, "Where's the software programming class?" I ask Sollux

"All the way acroth the camputh. Why?"

"No reason." I light up my phone and click pesterchum

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]at 10:03 AM

TG: you get to class on time

TT: Yeah man, it's close enough to yours. I'll meet you outside of yours if you want.

TG: nah don't sweat it

TG: well sweat it plenty in gym

TG: which is next so ill see you there ill find my way

TT: Follow Aradia, she's excused from Gym but she goes to TA there from now on.

TG: cool, ill do that

TG: thanks for walking me by the way

TG: very princely

TT: No problem, like I said; close enough. I gotta log off now, or else Captor's bro will make my cp explode…

TG: cool see ya dude

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]at 10:15 AM

I pocketed my phone and saw Mrs. Captor-Pyrope on a skateboard explaining the balance and explain the force control and how speed affects the jumps. She then put on a skateboarding movie and explained the ideas behind them; this was probably the coolest science class I've seen. I boarded too but the precise way she measured the angles and everything made it sound like if you could land a grind down a railway, you were a fucking genius. The bell rang and I gave her a thumbs up and told her it was a rad class.

"Thanks dude! Gonna tell my sis to look for you at lunch!" She shouted

"ARGH!" Karkat growled and stomped out of class.

"What the fuck is he shit flipping about?" I turn to the love birds

"He'th jutht jealouth cauthe TZ'th thith will try to hook you 2 up." Sollux snorted

"TZ?"

"Terezi, her sister and Karkat's flushed red crush." Aradia giggled, "He's been trying to work up the courage to ask her out…" She sighed, "but Vriska keeps interfering…So he'll probably take his frustrations out on you…"

"Huh. Okay. Is this Terezi cool?" I ask

"She'll be in gym now…" Aradia smiled

"So am I, I'll follow you I guess." She nods and turns to give her boyfriend a kiss. "I'm not here, take your time."

"I shall." Aradia smiled, but she waved and walked ahead of me.

"So, why're you a P.E. TA? That's lame"

"I need to participate in gym, but I can't strain my body right now…" She smiled

"Oh, are you okay?" I look her over, but other than scars she seemed fine.

"I was in… and explosion. I actually died for a couple minutes and then was in a coma…" She looked at me, "Death is a funny thing…" she mused

"Why's that?"

"Well, it's supposed to be an end… but it was a beginning; it made me love Sollux more… even though he blames himself for the accident, I think it was supposed to happen."

"What like fate?" I ask

"Hmm… more like it was meant to be, but I could have avoided it in time… had I not protected Sollux."

"So you let yourself be hurt for him? Wow…" SHE was a real knight…

"He's more hurt than I am about the incident… the scars on my body… are tenfold on his heart. But I love him… and he loves me. That's all I need to know now." She stopped and I saw I was near the front of the boy's locker rooms, Dirk waiting by the door.

"…y'know, I'm actually not being sarcastic when I say you're fucking awesome." I smirk

"And I want you to know I am never sarcastic when I say, 'I know'" She smiled mischievously and walked toward the girls room.

"You guys talked huh?" Dirk noted

"Yeah… she's pretty amazing." I was still surprised by the deep ass shit she revealed.

Dirk nodded, "Yeah, she says she likes to use all the time she has now."

"How'd the explosion happen?" I asked as we went in to change, I grabbed a uniform from the counter labeled: D Strider

"Sollux was repairing a messed up wiring problem at the old library she likes, there was a spark and the place exploded, she jumped in front of the falling rafter to shield Sollux." He said

"Whoa…" I sighed, makes me feel like a loser… I didn't even get to tell my person I loved them… I bitched out at the end.

"Yeah… she's a protector for sure. She literally died for him." He smirked, "Pretty sugoi huh?"

"Damn straight."

"Let's hurry up, today's archery and if we're late Zahhak will make us run laps, so not cool." He stripped his shirt off and I stared at him a bit before I changed too. I turned when I finished stuffing my shit in the locker and saw his shades flash red for a sec again.

"What was that?"

"What?" He tilted his head

"The red line running across your shades."

"AR's acting up for me. I don't want to talk to some… random… person on pesterchum."

"Mkay…" I nod and leave with Dirk following, I feel him flash by me and he's in front of me now.

He leans in a bit but his glasses flash again and he grits his teeth and clicks the side of the glasses. I guess he sees my confusion because he sighs, "Maybe I'll tell you later."

"Don't force yourself dude." I shrug, I am curious but everyone's got their own shit.

"Thanks… but I think I'll want too… sooner or later." He smiles a little and I feel my stoic mask drop a bit to touch his shoulder.

"Whenever you want, I'll try and help. Like that Eridan guy or something…" I shrug.

"Dude I hope he gets the girl… don't want him 'wweh-ing' on you if he's dumped…" Dirk smirked

"Yeah, I'm not a great shoulder to cry on." I nod and walk out the door.

Dirk pulls my gym shirt collar enough to pull me back and he puts his head on my shoulder and sighs. He's hugging me from behind basically… "I don't know Dave… You feel like a great shoulder to cry on… or something." He let go and opened the door and left, holding it open for me. I feel my face heat up a little behind my shades.

4:4 both of us


	6. Chapter 6

From: DemontaDark :

I should f*** hope you dont know what i did three summers ago... Youd need some psychiatric help ya feel me? ehehehe naw man but for reaps this is a great story one of my faves so far :)

Thanks for the continued support DD, that's fucking rad of you and I hope I keep digging this, and as for needing psychiatric help I'm SURE I need it for my other crazy ass shit.

From: Ninistuck :

Ok this is sugoi as hell! I've been fangirling on every chapter and laughing my butt off at the little "one-up-manship" between Dave and Dirk. I feel like you might be close to introducing Jake soon as someone from Dirk's who am I kidding? This whole thing is kawaii as hell and I am totally not gonna stop fangirling for quite a while!

Thanks for following/favorite/reviewing this dude! Love commenters and I hope I can continue to make you fangirl and you are right about Jake, but I do hope I surprise you with what happens. Until then thanks for reading.

ON TO THE SUGOI

You are Dave tied-with-Dirk-a-fucking-gain Strider

And I'm following Dirk onto the field. My face still feels a little warm from Dirk's move but I got this.

I got ALL this…

I give Dirk's ass a slap again and flash past him giving him a smirk over the shoulder, as I get to class I see a girl with fiery red hair in a red hoodie holding a cane and yelling that it was anarchy to not let her shoot the bow. A tall chick with blue and black streaks in her blond hair was just cheering her on.

"Mi-miss Pyrope, I understand that this is unacceptable to you, however; due to your… sight impairment I cannot excuse your using a bow." The teacher was sweating, but with the way she growled I guess he was freaked out.

"Come oooooooon teach, you know Terezi can just smell out the target, and with me lending her some luck she'll probably be the beeeeeeeest." The blue hair girl drawled

"This is completely unjust! I will get my lawyer mom to SUE!" the red head yelled.

"That's Terezi and we call the blue one spider bitch… or Vriska, if you want to get technical." Dirk said next to me.

"So this TZ chick is blind?" I point to her cane.

"Yep" He pops the 'p' and smirks "but-"

"She can see better than us sometimes… she's astute." Aradia poofed out of nowhere even for my ninja skills Bro beat in me.

"Huh" I nod

"Give me that!" Terezi yelled she grabbed the bow and locked an arrow in; she sniffed and let out a cackle. "The bulls-eye's RED!" She let go and…

Holy shit.

She hit the dead center.

"The teacher looks like he's going to faint." Dirk chuckled

"HEHEHEHEHEH!" She cackled again, she turned and sniffed for a bit and walked right to us, "Dirk who's your sweet smelling friend?" Vriska came with her and looked me over before winking. I felt chills on my arms.

"Dirk, I'm scared hold me!" I girly shriek and flash behind him.

"Aw don't be scared of the big bad spider Dave." He coos and turns to one arm hug me.

I hide in his arm and dramatically sigh, "My hero…"

"Oh greeeeeeeeat, another Lalonde-styled douche?" She snorted "Like there weren't enough irons in that fire.

"First off I'm Strider-style douche; this is grade A+ Strider here. Also no need to be jealous Dirk's getting all us sexy blonds." I quip and stand next to Dirk; I nod to the red head who I see is not wearing a hoodie but a dragon hooded cape. "Nice shooting by the way."

"THANKS! You smell good." She grinned

"Cool." I nod and look at the teacher, he grabbed a bow and shot a few himself and hit 3 targets right away. Whoa.

"OKAY! Everyone I ask you come here! I am Horrus Zahhak, and this unit is my favorite. It is an art that is truly like seeing inside your soul. The bow reflects your thoughts and the arrow is your will. Keep them straight and strong and you WILL make your mark." He nodded and gestured to the bows along the rails, "Everyone will have a chance, Aradia, you may even do this exercise." He smiled

"Thank you." She nodded and went up first. She hit it pretty close and smiled. Dirk and I glanced at each other and both grabbed a bow.

"So first one to a bulls-eye-" I start

"gets treated to lunch." Dirk finishes

"Alright then." I nod, we both shoot but mine hits the edge and his right outside the center. "Damn" I whistle, "Next." I grab another and try to slow my heart, time seems to relax and I shoot. He does too and I hit closer but he hit the bulls-eye. I turn and smirk. "Sun was in my eye." I shrugged ironically

"So I guess you buy." He smirks back

"Yeah, damn sun…" I sigh. I spend the period practicing with Dirk, who holds my hand and guides my hips to balance better. Shit he's definitely winning now. As the teacher dismisses us and I know I have math next then lunch.

5:4 Dirk for now, but after lunch it'll be like 413 Dave to 5 Dirk…

I change quickly and Dirk walks me to class, we talked about his rocket board design and apparently the thing in his room is a prototype. I nod and say I'll probably get back to boarding soon.

"Cool. I'll let you know when the board is done." Dirk waves and turns to head to his math class too. "I'll pick you up for lunch after class." He says over his shoulder

"Can't wait" I say back, thing was…

I couldn't.

Math was agonizingly slow, there was a juggalo painted dude and his boyfriend in my class. The little dude was in a wheelchair and had a Mohawk, he was Tavros Nitram and his dad ran the fencing and jousting club with other faculty here. "Yeah my dad… really is courageous to work with them." Tavros murmured.

"Relax Tav-bro, you can too once your surgery is over." Gamzee or 'juggl-bro' as I called him nodded, he's either chill or high… Not sure yet.

"So Tavros what happened man?" I ask

"W-well uh Vriska is kinda… excitable and when my dad took us to try uh… jousting 5 years ago she wanted to roleplay, and excited her horse… It bucked my horse, which fell and landed on me… well my spine…" He shrugged, "B-but had it not happened, I might've never met Gamzee…"

"Yeah, see I had some motherfucking anger issues… still do. But Kar-bro and Tav-bro here are all up and helping me. That's why I'm no longer all in that hospital. The fucking pills help too though." He shrugged, "But I'm all chill and such now, as long as spider bitch stays clear of Tav-bro."

I nod and look at Tavros, "Well, I'll be sure she's not near him too, and you'll be fine soon enough." I smile a little to reassure him.

"Th-thanks Dave, you're pretty cool." He smiles

"Now that this feels jam is over, let's get our sick rhymes on." Gamzee smiles

"Thanks Gamzee." Tavros smiled we spent the class making some sick rhymes back and forth because the teacher Mr. Ampora said he had to get his "glubbing wvork from the office" he hasn't come back…

We did that until the bell rang and I met Dirk, I decided to act on my plan, "Hey, how bout we make a pit stop to my locker?" I kept the secret weapon in there.

"sure" He nodded


	7. Chapter 7

From: PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73

Amazing as usual. :)  
Karkat is so cute when he's jealous! When Aradia with deep philosophical s***. I loved this chapter and sorry for the late review.

Dude, never be sorry for a review late, early, on time (whenever that fucking is) I think its totally rad when peeps all up and drop me a word or 7 on what they think.

From: PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73

Joyous times reading this! I was extremely happy with Tavros and Gamzee together! Just each one of their characters is perfect and great fun to imagine! 2uper exciited for the next chapter too. What with the iironic 2urpriise and shiiz.

The surprise is a coming in THIS chapter: Ohhhh snaps may now be dropped… and now pick them back up, I aint cleaning that shit up. There are ships all around for this writing and at the end of this story, I think I'll do a liiiittle contest. Keep on reading though dude, Please. It's sugoi as hell of you.

From: DemontaDark  
Im pretty rad i know ;)  
Curiuos about this secret weapon now .

Dude you are so rad. You don't even know how crazy it is… The secret weapon is now being revealed!

On to this Mobius double reach around of a story:

This is Dave Douche-muffin Strider

And I'm putting my shit away so freaking slow, letting the hallways clear before pulling out my secret weapon.

Pocky

That's right bitches, those addictive little cookie sticks dipped in chocolate.

"Dude, is that pocky?" Dirk smiled

"Yup. You like them?" I smirk

"Who wouldn't?" He shrugs; I nod in agreement and open the package.

"Let's play a game then." I quote Bro's movie

"Okay?" Dirk cocks his head

"Know the pocky game?" I see his brows raise and surprise actually go across his face for a second before it's wiped clean.

"Aw shit, you mean we're doing cookie chicken? I'm game" Dirk smirks He grabs one stick and puts it in his mouth, "c'mere." He mumbles

"Game on." I smirk back, I lean in and bite the chocolate end and take a bite, he bites too and we're taking little bird bites, dragging this out. I, being impatient as hell bite closer. HE does the same, but his glasses flash red for a second so I lightly blow on his face; he gets surprised and bites back. I pull back with what's left and eat it. I swallow and smirk, "I win"

"2 out of 3." Dirk smirks and puts one in my mouth for me, I just nod. He leans in and bites the end, this time we're faster and as we get closer I feel him slow down. Guess I win this roun-

Oh fuck!

He licked my lip! I pull back and he grins, "We're tied 'lil man'" He quotes Bro.

"We're the same height, final round." I push the stick in my mouth and give him a 'c'mere' beckon with my finger.

"Alright." He shrugs and bites on his end, he's looking at me, I know he is. I see his glasses shine red again for a second, he and I both move closer. I can feel his breath on my cheeks but I keep going, Dirk does too and I feel his lips touching mine really lightly. Like a feather has more presence… his eyes flash a bit behind his shades but I can't make out the color. I keep looking at him before we both back up at the same time.

"Tie" I shrug, my face feels warm again. 6:6 now…

"Yeah" He nods, "Let's get lunch. You're buying anyway." He smirks

"Fine, but if there's no AJ I am doing an acrobatic pirouette off the handle." I sigh

"They've got AJ." He smiles and grabs my empty hand, leading me toward the noisy food room. I stash the pocky in my pocket and walk on. We get in line and we grab our food, he gets AJ to drink and after I pay he leads me to the soda machine. "Need my orange soda fix." He explains, then he puts his AJ on my tray and led me to a table with all those crazy kids and even a few others crowded around that Eridan guy and some pinkish goggle wearing chick with crazy long black hair. Tanned to hell, blinged up and giggling.

"Noooooooo waaaaaaaay that Eridan manned up enough to ask Feferi out." Vriska drawled, "that's like, impoooooooosible." I hear Dirk mumble a "Thank gog" under his breath.

"Wwell actually Davve encouraged me…" He smiled, "and I'm glubbing glad he did." Eridan saw Dirk and I and waved, "She said yes to tryin to be more than friends! We have a date!"

"Hiiii there! I'm Feferi Dave! Eridan brought the most beautiful buoy-quet!" She waved

"So Dave's a good shipper then? Purrfect!" Some cat hat wearing girl grinned, "I'm Nepeta!" She squealed, "And this is Equius!" She showed some sweaty guy just like our teacher nod at me. Seems shy…

"So Feferi, Nepeta, Equius." I point

"Purr-fect!" Nepeta smiled

"Nepeta, maybe Dave should help with your relationship page in the paper." Rose smiled before eating her school made pasta like she was in France. Kanaya sat next to her sketching and eating some small sandwiches.

"Nah, I'm sure that was a onetime piece." I smirked, "Anymore and I'm fucking Dr. Phil." I glance around but I see she's not here, "Where's Jade?" I ask while biting into my burger, I look at Rose as she pulls out her phone.

"She is currently tackling a large pumpkin, and will not be attending our luncheon." She relayed

"So what did Strider here say to you anyways Eridan?" Karkat grumbled before biting into a candy red apple.

"Yeah, I wanna know!" Terezi cackled

"Yeah, lay down this miraculous advice for us motherfucker" Gamzee smiled at Eridan

"Wwell…" And he went on to tell them while I just ate while staring at Dirk I hear someone click their tongue and I see Karkat glaring at me.

"Got a problem Karkat?" I ask not caringly

"Take your own advice." He then looks pointedly at Dirk who's talking to his sis.

"Don't know what you mean, why do you take some too and get TZ up on you for a date." I smirk and he turns red

"Fuck off fuckass." He snarls before leaving

"Whaaaaaaaat's wrong with Karkat noooooooow?" Vriska drawled

"I shall see. Vriska do stay the ever hell away." Kanaya looked at me and then rose up and trailed after Karkat, Rose followed her.

"Karkat flipth thit over everything Dave, relaxth." Sollux shrugged

"Kay" I nod and go back to my Aj, I look at the other and nudge Dirk, "Try it dude, way better than that shit." I smirk

"I got it for you, don't re-gift it to me, so tacky." He shook his head smiling

"Dude, I'm trying to share the mouth version of a birthday and Christmas party with you." I gesture to the AJ and smirk, "try it."

"That sounded more like sloppy makeouts" He chuckled in my ear

"That's mouth valentine's day man, get your shit straight." I smirk

"Touché, but I'm a orange flavor guy." He nods to his drink and smiles, "unless we trade for a sip."

"Okay, let's do it." I grab his bottle and sip the bright orange soda, it taste sweet and the bubbles are cool and all but there's no tang. I hand it back and quirk my brow, "your turn." He nods and takes a sip, his face doesn't change but when he puts it down and his tongue flicks over his lips I can tell he liked it. "Yup, that's the nectar of god's man."

"Not bad, but I still dig my soda." He hands me the AJ and holds my hand with it, "but mouth holidays sound fun with you around." He smirks

"Soooooooo Dirk, how's life since you moved?" Vriska asked

"Fine." He sighed looking at her

"I oooooooonly ask since you were soooooooo boring until Dave showed up." She smirked

The bell rand and I stood to look at Vriska, "What can I say, I'm damn charming" I shrug, "And now I need my Prince after my heart here to show me my next class." I stand and hold out my hand for him.

He gives me a small but grateful smile and takes my hand. "This way, sir knight..." He leads me out and once we're at my locker again he stops my hand for a second before I can open it, "thanks" He smiles

"I figured you're shit's private." I shrug

"Thanks… but, honestly tell me; are you curious?" He asked

"About why you moved? Or the picture in your room? Sure. But that aint my shit to dig into, you want to tell me, I'm all ears. But there's no pressure." I smile at him and point to my backpack, "Now lead the way to my English… class." I notice a twitch in his lips downward as I said "English". "You okay?"

"Yeah" He responds quickly

"Dirk dude, I can handle whatever you dish out." I smile a little and decide to kiss his cheek. "If you can handle me back that is." I say seductively.

"I'm sure I can handle… but I was gonna ask you to come over. Rose has poetry club, so just us." He explained.

"Sure." I nod.

The score is 7:7 since lunch and I feel by the time we're at his place it's going to get even more… ironic.


	8. Chapter 8

Lepardlover:

This is beautiful! All the s*** getting pulled together and settin up a f*** Jake relationship thing... F***. Awesome.

Thanks for the kind curse words LL! Heh, I'm glad you dig the way I'm tying this shit like a fucking present topped with a sugoi bow on top. Merry Irony everyone. And have a bitchtits cool kid day.

From: DemontaDark  
As fuckng soon as you said pocky i just knew XD s*** gettin serious mwahahaha

Pocky is ALWAYS serious, you take that addictive biscuit stick seriously. Addiction's a powerful thing and pocky is kawaii crack. Be afraid bro. BE AFRAID!

From: PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73  
Oh irony is so Grand. ;)  
I really love the ships! Eriden gets Fef and Gamtav. Are Neputa and Equis together or friends? I especially love how you did Vriska cause she is the one character I didn't really like since she's. . . Herself. THE POCKY GAME! It was gah and ahhh! I was fangirling and shipping it as much as I could. It really was a surprise. Can't wait! :)

Then call me The Grand Irony Knight. I'm glad you're digging the ships, to answer your Nepquis ship I think I'll surprise you with that revelation later ;) And honestly I think of Vriska as a girl who can only protect herself with bitchness. I may convert you with some revelations later. Glad I continually make you fangirl though and I hope you keep liking this story!

Dear Everyone who reads this, gimme a word if there's anything you wanna say. I'll take your flames, gushing, or ideas to my dokidoki spot and give them a spin before I drop my story beats on you. I'm actually winging about… 97% of this story. Literally just started as a work-up to some Davw and Dirk makeouts and I suddenly started to get a plot, so any ideas are greatly appreciated. PM me if you want, and if any of you are interested in completely my own works I have a wattpad account you can check. So drop me a line.

ON TO THE KAWAII:

Dave to the muthafuckin Strider here. And I am currently in English class, dying of boredom… The teachers are a dynamic duo of a deaf woman, Ms. Leijon and another juggalo; he's mute named Mr. Makara. Weirdly enough the class makes sense, it's just he stares at us with a creepy clown smile, and she's been talking about Romeo and Juliet's "ship" for 25 minutes. Karkat is reading the play and seems to love it, he's crying at Tybalt's death and Nepeta is just agreeing with her sister while she signs back and forth. Apparently sign language is a part of this class… I pull out my phone and open up pesterchum. I see 2 people on and decide to go with the orange rather than blue.

TurntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 1:03 PM

TG: hey dude

TT: Sup?

TG: cant a bro just pester his other bro for a few

TT: Sure. How's English?

TG: mutes deaf and sign language everywhere karkat is crying over romeo and Juliet

TT: Yeah, he's always going on about romcoms and I'm guessing the teacher has a "shipping" chart on the board?

TG: yeah paris and romeo all up and black hate each other

TT: That's normal in Leijon/Makara's class, those two are totally in love or something so he'll just let her roam wild with those "ships" of hers.

TG: dude she has so many ships with this story apparently Shakespeare was an admiral because theres a whole fucking fleet on this board

TT: An armada even, I bet.

TG: man fuck this nautical nonsense

TT: Yeah that's Feferi's thing anyway.

TG: so whats in store for my knightliness at your place

TT: I figured a little strife and some Chinese with some shitty video game or movie.

TG: its a date

TT: Sugoi.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]at 1: 10 AM

I closed my pesterchum after texting Bro I was going out he just responded with a "kay" I stared at the board and zoned out, I still had photography and then history with Dirk. I began drawing some random lines for a rap while zoned. Wonder what Dirk's class is… I swear to gog if Bro left his smuppets in my room already I will kill him… The bell rang and I looked at my binder, there were some sick rhymes in my subconscience…

And some pretty unironically lame ones. Crap I should've messaged him. Need to let this die. I put my shit in my bag and saw Nepeta wave at me.

"Sup itty bitty kitty?" I asked her

"You and I have art together! Isn't that great?" She grinned rolling her "r"s in a purring fashion.

"Totally. So it's not just photography?" I ask

"Its multimedia beclaws the teacher likes everyone to feel included!" She grinned

"Anyone else in your little group there?"

"Equius! … Gamzee… and Tavros! It's free day Friday! So the teacher lets us do anything!" She explained

"Okay" I nod; I decided to pretend not to notice her "paws" on Gamzee's name. I wonder if she's crushing or 'flushed' or whatever for him.

We enter the class and a guy with a bright red sweater and tussled hair is at the front.

"That's Karkitty's uncle, Kankri Vantas." Nepeta smiled and saw Equius. "Gotta go, pounce on Eq!" She smiled and jumped on his back where he just hoisted her to his back and gavher a horsey ride to the paints. He went to the opposite side of Gamzee and Tavros.

"Hello. You must be Dave Strider." The teacher came to me

"Uh yeah that's m-"

"I hope you like your classes so far, this is multi-media arts and I will be the instructor Kankri Vantas, I hope you do intend to be serious in this class, and I will not in any way censor any works made by the students here at this school as long as they are non-triggering. We do not want anyone to feel hurt, angry, or any other unwarranted feelings toward the work. I understand that some pieces are meant to invoke a certain emotion as it is looked upon but that does not mean that we must push barriers and offend the school with the works at our annual fair. I hope you understand and if you have any questions you are of course free to ask me how one may feel while looking at your piece."

"Okay…" I nod. That was the longest lecture I've ever heard… "So… I mostly do photography, what is there to use here?"

"Well, we have color printers for any digital works you want, and for classics there is a darkroom available. As for camera we have a few here, and of course you may use your own if you prefer. I do ask that you adhere to unconditional rule to keep it school appropriate and-"

"Got it" I backed away while he still ranted and crept to Tavros. "He always talks that much?"

"W-well yeah… he's nice he's just uh… longwinded I guess?" Tavros smiled while drawing a bull and a lancer riding it hold one of its horns.

"Kar-bro is always telling him to shut the mother fuck up, but Vantas 2 here is all up and working his jaw." Gamzee drawled, he had a black canvas with every color being splattered on it. I saw Nepeta take three sculpting knives and start clawing at a piece of clay while that Equius guy drew a horse.

"Even Karkat's rants are shorter though." I noted

"Y-yeah, he's loud enough to m-make up for it though…" Tavros smiled at the joke, I laughed with Gamzee.

"Not bad mother fucker…" Gamzee smiled and kissed his cheek

"That was funny." I smirk

"uh wow, thanks guys." He smiled

I took pictures of Gamzee and Tavros when they weren't looking, and some of Nepeta and Equius working, I noticed that every time Nepeta came near here Equius would either come with and walk in front, or he'd tell her to stay and get it for her. I decided to ask Dirk in our next class. I snapped more pictures, there was a shy girl who drew awesome anime people wearing lime green clothes and her twin brother was doing abstract shit? I think. Her wore blood red and kept calling her an idiot.

"Says the one who always loses at chess…" she quipped

"Fuck off and die!" He growled

"Caliborn, no triggering language in here!" Mr. Vantas noted. He didn't say a word to Gamzee though…

I walked over to see the sculture Nepeta was making, it was a cat.

Go figure.

There was a girl with the cat next to it and smiling.

"So you really dig cats huh?"

"Pawsitively! They're purrfect friends. I'm a Leo too!" She smiled

"Ah, so the universe deemed it so onto you. There was no escaping your feline fate, your cat-aclysmic destiny; this was your purr-pose in life. To be not a crazy cat lady but THE crazy cat lady." I smirk

"YUP!" she smiles, the bell rang and she perked up, "Hi Dirk!" I turned and saw him smirk at me.

"One left dude, then it's on." He nodded to the guys and waved, "See ya Nep."

"Bye-bye!" She waved excitedly, "Equiuuuuus! I need to update my shipping wall!" She whispered a little too loud.

"'Shipping wall' do I want to know?" Dirk smirked at me

"Beats me dude, probably more Romeo and Juliet shit or something…" I shrug

"She was looking at us… wanna be my Juliet?" He smirked

"I'm the knight, you be Juliet." I throw back

"Your dress was more Juliet; I bet you could be Juliet in the next play." Dirk smiled

"Nah man, if the school saw these legs they'd just die from nosebleeds." I quip as we entered history. "It seems cruel to have a boring history class at the end of the day…"

"Actually, she's pretty damn great. Talks a lot but she's… feisty." He nods to the blue dress wearing brunette in front of us with red rimmed glasses.

"Is that…"

"Spider bitch's sister… She's in here too but in the back." Dirk nodded while showing me a seat near the front.

"I can't sleep in the front." I whine

"Can't sleep here anyways, she's got like 8 eyeballs or something… sees everything." Dirk shrugs, "She'll keep you awake."

"Hello everyone! For our new student's sake, I am Ms. Serket and today is about reasons of cause in World War 2!" She jumped right in talking about the ways the US was actually more involved than neutral and what happened with Pearl Harbor. She went on and on I bet her and Mr. Vantas could talk for a week straight before remembering they needed to breathe and keeled over. Dirk was right though; she was animated, showed clips on the television and drew pictures. She even brought out a soldier's uniform to describe what they carried. By the time the bell rang I didn't even notice 50 minutes had passed. This might be the first time I'd gone a school day without falling asleep…

"So we're going straight home or what?" Dirk asked

"You have somewhere in mind beforehand?" I grin

"Well, its nice wanna walk? Get a coffee or something?" He shrugged

"Sure." I nod


	9. Chapter 9

To all my readers: the replies to these guys sometimes apply to yall too! Read em and let me know what ya think of the story.

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73 :  
Awwwweeeee they're such adorable ships! Gamkar is so cute with how they interact. With Neputa and Equis's interaction I believe I know have my question answered.;)  
This is all coming together really nicely and how each socializes with another is purrrfect. :3

Thanks very much, as to the Nepquius, maaaaybe, and maaaaaybe not… but thanks for saying they all work really well together, that's sugoi as hell of you!

Lepardlover :  
This is the best! Coffee date with Dave and Dirk! Can't wait for the next chapter

Thank you for following and favorite-ing this story, as well as letting me know you're excited for the date. Wait no longer!

DemontaDark:  
Hhhhh i need this story to be a thing just yes

This IS a thing. And were makin this happen bro! but seriously, all you guys are making this happen, all your comments and shit is make my fingers go clickity-clackity while my heart's all dokidoki. So thank you guys.

On to the Derse boy hotties:

This is DJ katanaApple AKA: Dave Derse Strider here.

I'm walking next to Dirk on our way to some coffee shop and he's just humming along like he's fucking mickey mouse on a jaunty walk. I know we're tied at 7:7 but he keeps wrinkling his nose whenever his glasses flash red. Being the impatient fuck stick that I am I break the silence.

"So, how was school?" I ask. Smooth me… real fucking smooth…

"You were there… so it was good." He smiled a little, fuck he's nice looking when he smiles…

"Hmm." I shrug

"So how'd you like everyone?" He starts up while we cut through a park.

"They're… a mind fuck of friends honestly… Aradia's cool but deep and Sollux and her a lover to the max, like St. Valentine's got nothing on that shit…. Karkat seems angry but scared… Gamzee and Tav are perfect for each other… Eridan seems pretty happy now I guess?"

"Yeah, he's a mood flipper… but your advice seemed to really work on him." Dirk smirked

"I guess… Vriska's… a bitch so far… and Feferi and Nepeta are just really happy… What's with Nepeta, Gamzee and Equius? They were super tense at art."

"Ah… that story. Tavros told me when I noticed too… took me a week, you noticed quickly." He grabbed my arm lightly and pointed to a starbucks around the corner.

"I share a class with all 4, maybe that's why?" I shrug, I walked in the starbucks and held the door for him.

"Well… Tavros and Gamzee are in EVERY class together, and they made sure Karkat's in Gamzee's gym when Tav can't be…" Dirk explained, "Let's get our drinks and I'll tell you." He goes to the counter, "It's hot… I'll hav an orange and cream frap, extra whip. Dave?"

"I'll get mine."

"You got lunch, now hurry up man." He smirked, "You're holding up the line." That's ironic, no one's here.

Touché

"Strawberry caramel frap, extra whip…" I order, it was hot out… so I take a seat by the shaded window and Dirk follows.

"They'll bring em." He sits down and puts his purple backpack with a magenta heart symbol down. "So do you know about Gamzee's condition?"

"Not too much really, just anger problems." I tell him

"Anger? No man… Rage pure demented RAGE. Karkat and Gamzee have known each other since kids, Eq and Nep are the same. They were the best of friends. But a couple things happened all at once and it was a nightmare. Karkat still has PTSD from that and his insomnia… sort of why he's grouchy… but Gamzee, Karkat, Nepeta and Equius were all camping 6 years ago with some of Gamzee's circus family. He's back Romani so they were called THE DARK CARNIVAL as he put it. Gamzee was practicing juggaling and Nepeta was taking Karkat's attention from him at the time because she was crushing on him. Equius was tending to the horses so he wasn't there, but Gamzee snapped…" Dirk paused at the guy brought our drinks.

"Snapped?" I ask

"…yeah…" He took a sip, "Gamzee was always a bit on edge but Karkat could calm him down; see Gamzee's family is a famous carnival group so they were never around, He practically lives with Karkat. So when his last attachment's attention was being taken, while he was near a family that didn't care for him. He snapped and… beat Nepeta half to death with the juggling clubs he had."

"…Holy shit…" I murmured

"Yeah… Gamzee then took the flaming archer's bow and tried to choke Equius when he came to stop Gamzee. Karkat jumped on Gamzee and slapped him, when 'papped' him and calmed him down. Gamzee was sent to the hospital for evaluation afterwards..."

"Where he met Tavros…" I recalled

"Yeah, Tavros convinced Gamzee to try the new drug, Sopor. It relaxes him really well. He just needs to take it and be happy enough." Dirk finished

"So Equius and Nepeta…" I started

"Are basically two halves a a person, Nepeta forgives Gamzee; Equius I think does too. I think he just doesn't forgive himself." Dirk took another long sip and I did too. "He didn't get there in time for Nepeta to be saved, and then he himself was beaten pretty bad."

"Holy shit…" I sighed, "This is all crazy."

"Yeah… y'know if you look under the face paint you'll see 3 long scars on his face… Nepeta was scared Karkat would be hurt when he jumped Gamzee and in the fight her claws scratched his face… Karkat blames himself for the whole thing… thinking if he'd been watching his best friend closer than it may have never happened…"

"Jegus, and I thought I had it rough… this is all crazy." I hold my head with one hand as I grab my phone and send out a quick message.

"What are you doing Dave?" He looked surprised I did anything after the bomb he dropped on me.

"I need to forgive myself too, stop my self-pity party and tell someone something I hid for a long time."

"What?" Dirk asked

"I need to tell a guy I loved him before I moved." I smirk

TurntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 3:57 PM

TG: hey egderp

EB: DAVE! you have been offline or "busy" for FOREVER.

EB: how's your new school?

TG: john shut up for a sec

EB: geez, barely back on and you're already too cool to talk to me?

TG: no egbert i just need to say some deep shit and then go on with my merry fucking day yknow

EB: okay then, let's hear it!

TG: i loved you

TG: loved the goofy face you give me when wed skype

TG: loved that stupid way you would try and defend nic cage in all his shitty movies

TG: loved how you were easily the most unintentionally ironically uncool kid ive met

TG: and we never even met

TG: how fucking crazy is that

TG: but basically yeah

TG: i dave elizabeth strider loved you john I don't fucking know your middle name egbert

TG: that is all

EB:…

EB: this isn't an elaborate strider prank is it?

TG: no egderp that was 100% strider seriousness right there no additives not from concentrate just organic no bullshit honesty

EB: in that case, I want to say thanks Dave.

EB: but I am NOT a homosexual.

EB: not that there's anything wrong with that! :P

EB: its just not who i am.

TG: dude i knew that

TG: just needed that off my chest man

TG: were still bros man

TG: right

EB: YEAH! we're totally bros dude! But…

TG: but what

EB: you wrote "loved" not love dave

TG: yeah

TG: dont take it in a bad way but

TG: i met someone

TG: like in the flesh and all that body having shit

TG: who makes me happy and all that feeling shit

EB: that's great dave! :P I am totally NOT offended or anything.

EB: good luck

TG: thanks john

EB: no problem bro!

TG: gotta go im with the happy feels making person now

TG: see ya

EB: bye dave. Go get them! ;)

TurntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 4:13 PM

I put my phone away and pulled out the small box in my pocket. I grabbed a single piece from it and stuck the cookie in my mouth, "Round 2 Dirk?"


	10. Chapter 10

So I am giving these chapters away like they're fucking cheap cigars. I have hit a roll with this shit, so I just wanna give these guys their shout out:

The-psionic-strider:

Thanks for favorite-ing this story. And don't worry dude, I know this story's your #1 favorite.

Like that one kid who does all their shit and stays all clean and fuck.

I'm your favorite kid.

Don't lie.

It's true.

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73:

Aweeee! That was such a cute ending with Dave and John. I feel bad for Gamzee in the tale cause only Karkat was close to him. I'm really glad he met Tav too. Then Neputa and Equis have been through a lot also. There's a lot of background for each if these characters and its wonderful. I'm ecstatic to see the development between Dirk and Dave. Another great chapter.

Aw shit my face is getting warmer than LOHAC. Thanks again for reviewing dude. I hope you like the rest to come and I want ya'll to know your reviews are what inspire me to dish these white hot chapters of kawaii out. So thank you.

Lepardlover :  
*Does a little happy dance* Yesssss! This is great! I look forward to how you continue! }:3

Keep on dancing LL, whoo! Now shake it mmm yeah! You the fan! Whoop whoop! As for how I continue: this is how

On to the dadadaduuuuh: 10th chapter of Ironically Sugoi:

Dave I-just-confessed-my-old-feelings Strider here, sitting with a piece of choice Japanese cookie-crack in mouth and a choice piece in front of me. Who's giving me a one eyebrow up stare down.

"Really? You wanna take me on again after last time?" He smirked

"Man, last time was a draw. This is high stakes shit now." I bite into the pocky and smirk at him, "scared?"

"Nah, just wondering 'bout your boyfriend's feelings." He murmured

"Never my boyfriend… He shot me down" I shrug, "He's not a homo" I get up and grab my drink, "except maybe for Nic Cage… total homo for that guy." I laugh

"You okay?" Dirk asked softly, touching my shoulder as he stood next to me with his drink in hand.

"It's fine, I'm… moving on well."

"You just told him and you're moving on?"

"Nah, I've moved on dude. I knew he wouldn't be with me forever ago, I've never even met him in person." I smile, "Crazy right? But no I moved on, I just pitied myself and never told him. Now I did and I got closure or some shit." I rant, "I'm a free man now."

"Hmm… well then," He leant in and bit the other end of the pocky and broke it in half. He backed away and smirked, "this calls for a celebration." He grabbed my hand and we left the coffee shop and walked down the street hand in hand.

Some girls honked at us as they passed so I swung our hands back and forth and shouted, "That's right, IN YOUR FACE LESBIANS RIGHT HERE!"

"Dude, I'm not sure about you but I have a dick." Dirk smiled as he swung his hand with mine.

"So do I man, c'mon get rumored with me." I chuckle, "Let's tear shit up."

"Kay" He nods and steals my drink, I grabbed his knowing if he's like Bro my frap is about to be smeared on my face. Instead Dirk just takes the lid off and licks off some of the whipped cream. "I'm all out…" He sighs dramatically

I look and see he did eat all the whip off his, I smirk; grab his hand and lick the caramel he got from the lid. "s'okay, but this is still my drink." I chuckle lowly

"Come take it back." And he flash steps away to the park again.

"I'll get it." I flash towards him and drop my bag by the tree, I flash around the playground with Dirk until I'm standing on the top of the tower thing about to descend onto his back. I jump and tackle him down. He turned and caught me but we fell and the frap spilled all over him. "Heheh, got you." I laugh

"You were supposed to get the drink, fuck that's cold." He laughed, I quirk a brow and lean in to him. I lick from his shirt collar to his chin getting a big glob of whipped cream and strawberry goodness. I sit up and swallow it.

"Got it" I smirk and lick my lips. He sat up with me still in his lap and licked right under my bottom lip.

"Got some too…" He whispered

9:9 1 for me cause of the tackle, 1 for Dirk with the licking whip off his fingers and 1 each for the licks I count in my head. I sigh internally; this game is getting too feeling-infused. Time to wrap it up soon… I stand and hold my hand out, "you need a shower." He smirks and pulls me back down so I straddle him again.

"Wanna join me for one?"

"Maybe… I'll think about it." I shrug and wiggle my eyebrows ironically

He grins and points up, "Time's up sir knight." I look up and it starts to drip, then rain. "If you don't want to get drenched, better run." He flashed from under me and held his hand out. "Well?"

"Guess we're going home." I took his hand and stood up but didn't let go. He held on tighter and swung our arms like I did earlier. I felt my mouth pull up in less of a smirk and more a lopsided smile.

"Why're you smiling?" He asks

"I gotta say, with no sarcasm here: I've never had this much fun before." I shrug, "My old school, they don't like anyone 'different' and they didn't understand the awesomeness of irony."

"Didn't you have some friends?"

"Not in reality. Rose, Jade and… John. That's it. All pesterchums." I explain

"Damn, well what about now?"

"I like it… although those guys… I'm gonna call your whole group 'trollers' dude. They're pretty cool as a group but more complicated than a 12-way Mobius double reach around." I smirk

"so all those guys are 'trolls' huh? That makes sense… and they are complicated. They're only human." Dirk shrugs

"Nah they're trolls, from some crazy-ass planet." I say, "but… I think I understand why Karkat was all pissy at lunch."

"Why?"

"Well, he felt guilty about Gamzee… what if he thinks that if he's with Terezi Gamzee will go crazy again?" I guess, "So maybe seeing all his friends together but him alone but too scared to change it just adds to his pain?"

"Whoa… that makes… sense… all of it even." Dirk sighed, "You're pretty amazing… you see all this shit."

"You look through a lens, and shit seems clearer… especially when no one can see you watch." I shrug, "That's how Bro described me…" I recall

"You should talk to Karkat, he won't like it at first… but he'd be grateful in the end I bet…" Dirk mentioned

"Maybe" I looked at the sky and smirked as I saw the apartment complex near, "race you!" I dashed forward without flash stepping, and in this rain it'd be dangerous. I get into the building and take the stairs 2 at a time I feel Dirk behind me gaining. I finally think 'fuck it' and flash step. I slip on the last step and fall.

"DAVE!" Dirk yells, all I think as I fall is "pchoooooooo" I land and there's something in my hand

I don't feel hurt… I open my eyes and see Dirk's holding me, face pink and eyes orange.

Orange… whoa, they're like burning amber… I look and see his shades in my hand, I don't give them back yet I just stare into his eyes.

"You must drink too much orange #12 to have those eyes…" I joke softly

"You're welcome… I shoulda warned you about the stairs bro, sorry." He smirks, "shades?" he nods his head to my hand.

"Not yet…" I say

"Well then…" He sets me down softly and takes my shades into his hand. As he pulls them away I shut my eyes quickly. "hey, no way man; let me see."

"Mine are freaky, not like yours… give them back…" I cover my face with the hand not holding his shades. I feel his hand tug mine off my face and hold it. "Dirk… give them back…" I ask

He kisses my hand, the top of it all princely, then each finger; and finally the palm. I feel his breath on my face as he breathes, "These can't ever freak me out Dave." He kisses each eyelid, "lemme see…"

"I-" I start

"Please…" He asks

"Well shit since you said please…" I start before he grabs my chin softly.

"Dave" he whispers again. I shake my head no. He kisses me lightly and I can't help my eyes opening. His eyes are open; looking at me and I see them widen when he sees. He breaks away with a gasp, "whoa…"

"Yeah, I'm basically albino… now give me the shades bac-" He cuts me off with another light peck.

"Dude… they're awesome." He smiles, "relax Dave." He grabs my free hand and hooks my shades onto his shirt.

"I-uh… kay." I shrug trying to grab my remaining dignity that just absconded. My face is burning red now I bet, and without my shades I know he can see. I glance at him during our awkward silence and see his ears and cheeks are red too. I still have his shades so I hook them on my shirt and follow him to his place. He unlocks the door and he gives me a once over. I kick my shoes off so there's no mud and follow Dirk to his room.

"You wanna borrow some clothes? You're… wet." He asks

"just some shorts, I guess I'll hang these up."

"Give 'em here, I'm gonna hang mine up too." He strips out of his shirt and pants and I stare for a sec before copying him. I'm left in my boxers while he hangs the shit up. My shades are on the desk and I put his on the night stand next to me. The photo frame is still down and my hand twitches but I shake my head. I notice there's still water on Dirk's shades and wipe them off since they're electronic. I put them on to check, and I smirk a little remembering when I wore ones like this from Bro… Suddenly the shades lit up, I look for a sec to see what was happening and call Dirk, but his name dies on my tongue as I read.

gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 4:53 PM

GG: Gadzooks dirk, this has been an adventure trying to reaching you!

GG: I just wanted to give you a jolly bit of news

GG: Our wedding's going to be bumped up!

GG: Because…

GG: Jane and I are expecting a baby!

I rip the glasses off and my mind's going fucking light speed through the window. It feels like 3 years until Dirk comes back with a glass of AJ and a soda. His smile drops when he sees me.

"Your shade-pesterchum thing went off when I was drying them…" I explain and hold them out for him.

"Oh thanks dude… I turned AR off earlier since he was being a little shit… guess he opened pesterchum to get me back…" He sighed and took them from me. He put them on and I saw his eyebrows go up and then his lips get pursed tight.

"You okay?" I ask

"Yeah…" He sighs and pulls them off, "I just didn't want to talk to him or even know that shit…"

"Wanna talk about it?" I offer

"In a sec… there's something I want to do first." He sits next to me and holds my hand.

"What?" I ask

"Nothing much… just some sloppy makeouts." He holds the back of my neck and leans in…


	11. Chapter 11

Leolady:

All of the fangirl squeals and worshiping is going on right now. ALL of it. You sir, have most definitely gotten this story perfect! kvn;altkbanllgh;dfgbjl *dies of happiness*

I am no "sir" I AM A BAWS! Or boss for those who are prissy bout spelling. Nah jk, man. Thanks for reviewing my story, love new peeps and I command you to bow down! Down, how low can you go. Now come back to life homie cause there's a new chapter below!

Lepardlover :

I'm going to keep dancin' until my face splits in half from this stupid, giant grin I've got right now. This story is one of the best fanfictions I've ever read. Yes. Just. YESSS.

You dance until your pants tell you to stop, then just have no-pants dance time! Just reading your guy's comments makes my face almost split too, so thank you guys for all this love. Really, it's fucking rad as hell.

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73:

0.0 I love it and I definitely ship it. This chapter was so freaking adorable! So much fluff and cuteness! Their eyes I always thought were really awesome. I really hope Dave will get to talk to Karkat about his whole situation. You're an awesomely fantastic writer and I'm super glad I found your story. :)

I'm glad you found my story too, you're seriously all great fans, but you were the first to favorite and review me, and that inspired me to keep going and all this love from all of you guys makes me keep up these 1-2 a day updates rolling! So guys keep it up and thank you for all this love!

DemontaDark

Yoooooooo  
YooooooOOOO  
YOOOOOOOOOOOO  
hell yes

Hell yes

Shit yes

Hell fucking yes dude.

And thanks to: IMaSHIPPERwhatAREyou for being my newest shipper and story favorite-er! Thanks man!

On to sloppy make outs: (maybe?)

Dave holy fuck-nuggets Strider here, getting his mack on with a guy I met 1 day ago.

Dirk's holding my neck and leaning over me; our lips are moving in sync, I sigh and bring my hand to his cheek. I feel wet on my thumb and open my eyes.

Dirk's crying…

"Shit dude, c'mere…" I pull him into my arms and hug him, "this Jake guy was someone special to you huh?" I felt him nod on my chest, his tears just silently streamed down his face. I pushed his shoulder so he was sitting up and held his cheek in my hand. "Hey, it's all right Dirk…" I kiss the corner of his lips and hold him. I try not to show him I'm freaking out… I've never had anyone cry on me and I've definitely never had someone be close enough to me that this would happen. I tug Dirk to sit against the headboard and he leans on me. His silent tears keep dripping onto my shoulder so I just wrap and arm around him and stroke his back while I hold his other hand. I hum a song John used to play on his piano; he called it "Showtime" it was sad sounding but hopeful.

"…ved h-m…" I heard Dirk mumble; I stopped humming and turned to look at him better. His head was still on my shoulder.

"What?" I asked

"I loved him." Dirk mumbled a bit clearer, I didn't need to ask who 'he' was. I just rub his back.

"Did he know?" I ask

"Yeah… I told him flat out, 'I have mad feels for you' he smiled and agreed to date me." Dirk murmured

"What happened?"

"Well… AR would answer his pesters sometimes, and I guess Jake didn't get the whole irony thing I do… I guess he just wasn't as into me as I was him… I fucked up our relationship…" He shrugged

"How?" I ask

"I was clingy… see I didn't have anyone either… My parents were junkies, addicted to something crazy… they called it JujU, and it made them crazy as fuck… their whole group was called 'tricksters' Mine and Rose and Roxy's dad had us young and shit. Their mom was his straight-laced doctor mom so she took them away… but my dad had me with a trickster user… My eyes were probably a mutation from it… I don't know the drug makes their eyes bright ass blue…"

"And?"

"Well the lady had a son… he was a good guy… 10 years older than me but as soon as he was 16 he took me away and started a popular web comic. Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff."

"Those comics are sick, the movie was the shit." I remember, ironically bad that is was genius.

"Yeah… well he was always gone. He took care of me well enough… hell he saved me from those freaks but I… was lonely. So when I met Jake who had come from a safari and was all balderdash and dapper I was pretty struck. Once we started dating I was clingy too, and he was so damn oblivious! He acted like he would with any other 'mate' with me! I wasn't special to him at all…" Dirk sighed

"Okay." I nodded, I figured Dirk needed to rant and then I'd comfort all this out. "Then what?"

"He would talk to Jane, our friend for advice… I knew how she felt about him… but I took my chance and thought I'd won… Jane's a sweetheart and a great woman… everything I'm not… so I got even more insecure and jealous and Jake would avoid me. Go on long explorations with his adventurer grandmother and not take my calls or messages. Then… he got drunk and… cheated on me… with some spider loving nerd chick called 'Marquis' once he came back I dumped his ass…" Dirk sighed out and looked at me.

"That fucking prick." I growled Dirk smirked sadly and kissed my cheek, and then he put his head on my shoulder again.

Well he was pretty guilty about it when he told me, but I dumped him and he ended up falling for Jane… She took my side in the break up, punched his face and cussed him out actually… but he fell for her… and there's no denying that Jake English charm… so I was all alone again…I even stopped going to school for a while, just built these bots for company… Roxy was actually my pesterchum before so she told me to move out here while she worked. Their mom is on a science excursion so my bro sends money for rent… actually he owns this building… and here I am…" He finished

I rubbed his arm for a little bit in silence while I thought all that over. Dirk wasn't crying anymore but I felt he was close again, I started to panic again so I said what I thought, "Jake English is a fucking douche sack…" I blurted

"…heh…hehehehehehehehahahahahahaHAHA!" Dirk laughed and fell to his side laughing, "OH MY GOG… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He gasped "Haaaaaa" he sighed

"Yup. Dirk, you had a fucked up childhood for a while. Then you were saved, but alone. I'd say clingy-ness is normal, and I'm guessing this English guy knew?"

He nodded, "A'ight so English knew, so he should have understood what you felt and instead of having another person explain it why not just ask you? What is he some god damn lord? Doubt it. So that was his bad. And then he cheated on you. Far as I'm concerned this guy is a prick and this Jane chick probably deserves more too." I rant I turn toward Dirk and pull him up to sit in front of me. "He's a dick biscuit." I state, "A cock-cake hoho, a slut muffin and a fucking cu-"

"Whoa… okay Dave, I understand… It's just hard because he keeps acting like we're friends. Like our relationship did nothing to him…" He shrugged, "So I wasn't feeling great bout myself… y'know all that teenage girl angst I have." Dirk laughed then he leaned his head on my shoulder again.

"Still… don't dwell on that… I've only known you a day and I think you're damn sugoi." I say blushing a little. He turns his head so he's looking at me from my shoulder, I glance to the side and see him looking at me and feel my cheeks get hotter.

"Y'know I was right earlier…" He smirked

"About what?"

"Your shoulder's great for crying on…" He recalled and I smirked at that. He turned his head a bit and started to kiss my shoulder and neck making his way to my neck. I turned my head and caught his lips with mine. I pressed him against me and kissed him harder, I let my hands roam down to his shoulders and he wrapped his arms around my neck. I drifted toward his plush rump and squeezed it a bit. Dirk gasped and I slipped my tongue into that sugoi mouth of his. I explored his mouth like I was going to make a damn map of the place later, not wanting to miss a spot. His tongue started to strife with mine and we had to break away for air. I pushed him down and latched onto the left side of his chest, above his heart. I sucked, kissed and nipped the area until a dark reddish purple heart- shaped spot lay there. I leaned back to admire it and traced it with my finger. "Prince of Heart…" I smirk

"Wha?" Dirk panted

"You're the Prince of Heart…" I smirked

"Sugoi" He smiled, "Now come here and lay with me."

"No prob…" I leant down and gave him a peck before I lay next to him. He held my hand and he turned some light beats on his phone on. He fell asleep right before I mumbled "You're the Prince of MY heart…" and fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

LeoLady:

Awesome! Dirk has his title, Jake is a douchemuffin, and they lived happily ever after!

There is more to come LL! Hold on to your meteor.

DemontaDark:

All the dokis... Frick Dfhohddgjhv

All the dokis… all of them.

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73:  
Awee! Dirk! :'(  
Poor darling. Jake is a fricken oblivious d***. I really dislike him right now beyond all belief. As for the smoochin... ;D  
Great job there. I look forward to the development and repairs the two get to do with one another. :)

Thanks as always for the comment, I know there's hate all up on Jake and I'm glad you guys dig the smooching.

volatileXtimes

This guy above's my new story follower! Thanks man… real cool of you.

DEAR READERS: I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU, IN THE CASE OF EXTREMELY HOT MAKE OUTS AND/OR SMUT. WOULD YOU PREFER A SEPARATE CHAPTER OF IT SO THIS STORY REMAINS CLEAN(ISH)? IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE THE SMUT SEPARATED FROM THE STORY TELL ME, DON'T WANNA MAKE ANYONE UNCOMFTORTABLE.

On to the post-feels cuddles.

Dave snug-as-a-bug-in-Dirk'-arms-(fuck rugs) Strider here, I woke up with Dirk's head on my shoulder and him wrapped around me, our leg tangled and all around cuddling. I smiled softly and held him close for a sec before I untangled from his hold. I grabbed my shades and put them back on; I went to the bathroom and after flushing and washing I looked in their mirror. I hated my eyes honestly, I was too open without my shades and everyone made fun of me… but Dirk just said he liked them… I smirked and drew a little bit on his mirror before I left. I opened the door to see Rose standing and her mouth twitched into a small smile as she saw my almost-naked self

"Uh… hey Rose." I nod, "how was poetry?" I tried drifting past her but she blocked me.

"It was fine Dave, how was Dirk?" She questioned smoothly

"We didn't do anything; our clothes are in the dryer from the rain." I shrug. I mean we made out and had a feels session but that's our business.

"Of course… but I want you to know that though half his blood is different… hurt my brother and I will stab your eyes out with my knitting needles." She smiled darkly and handed me my clothes and Dirk's. "Have a good night. I am sleeping over at Kanaya's as her fashion design project is due tomorrow and she requires help."

"Trying them on or pulling them off?" I smirk

Rose turned gracefully and Kanaya stepped out of her room with a bag, Kanaya looked me over and smirked with Rose, "Why not both Strider?" She mocked and left with Rose who just giggled.

"Fucking Lalonde-troll lesbians…" I sigh, "That's just trouble right there…" I looked at my clothes and Dirks and walked toward his room again. I dumped the clothes and my shades onto his desk and got back under the covers with Dirk, my internally awesome clock said it was about 6:38 and Dirk and I gotta eat… plus I need to unpack… I stroke Dirk's arm and graze his cheek with my lips. I plant small kisses onto his neck and shoulders until he starts waking up. "Morning" I greet him

"I could get used to waking up like that…" He smirked

"Good." I nod, "Because this is a thing that is happening now." I nuzzle his shoulder and he chuckles.

"Man if you do that I'll get you cat ears." He warned

"Meow meow mother fucker" I smirk and I pap his arm, I need to get upstairs and unpack… you wanna help?"

"After food…" He yawns and stretches a bit.

"Kay, take out or something?" I offer

"Nah, I've got something in the fridge to cook…" He smiles, "you cook?"

"I am an executive chef of cereal. I make the perfect bowl." I smirk

"Got it, you can cut stuff, I'll make the food." He gets up and grabs my long sleeved shirt. He tossed me a shirt and I caught it, it was his hat shirt. "Wear it." He told me and pulled my shirt over his head. I noticed his hair was more natural now because of the sleep and rain. I pulled his shirt on and hooked his shades on my-his shirt. He did the same and winked.

"Let's get cooking Dirk." I smirk, he pulls me into his arms and we kiss for a sec before he pulls away.

"Delicious." He flashed away with a chuckle.

I flash to his kitchen too and grabbed his-my shirt "Get back here, this is a 4-course meal." I tell him.

"That was an appetizer, main course is later…" He gave me a peck and handed me some veggies, "cut these." He nodded toward the counter so I sighed and pulled my katana out from my strife specibus and start cutting the shit and putting it into a bowl, "oh yeah, Rose's have crazy fashionista sex at Kanaya's tonight. She will then pass out dude to lesbian fashion overload and stay the night." I tell him.

"I'm gonna go on a limb and say you embellished that message a bit."

"No way man, that was all Rose's own words, she said all that word for word man." I tell him

" alright. Guess I'll be own my own til Roxy gets here… if she does. She's still working on the club with your Bro." He nodded and started cooking some meat.

"Just crash in my room with me…" I tell him

He turns and looks at me, "Really?"

"Sure, tomorrow's Friday, we'll go to bed after we do my room and then we'll go to school." I list

"Cool, it's a sleepover then. I have something to show you if it's clear outside."

"What?"

"Surprise" He smiles, "now chop those veggies." He orders

"Yes your majesty." I mock I keep cutting away and bring him the bowl once I'm done. "What're you making?" I ask putting my head on his shoulder.

"Stir fry veggies and tonkatsu." He smiled and gave me a quick peck, "can you get the katsu sauce in the fridge and some drinks?"

"Sure." I take my head off his shoulder to give his neck a long lick and then walk away strutting my hips and get the stuff.

"Tease…" he sighed

"That's only an 'appetizer' Dirk… there'll be more." I smirk. To prove my point I bent straight down to get his and my soda from the bottom. I stood back up and winked at him. "Need anything else?" I breathed in his ear.

"…" Dirk stared at me and then a small smile grew slowly into a full grin. "You could wear the dress again for our date…"

"Oh hell no." I reply, "I'll strip down naked before that happens again." I huff

"That's for dessert isn't it?" He smirks

"With a cherry on top" I smirk back

"do… you really?" Dirk put the spoon down and looked at me. "You want to have sex?" I look at him and no this is no-bullshit seriousness right here.

I nod, "I do want to sleep with you." I start and walk over to him lifting his chin to look at me. "But not tonight, I want to start a little slow, I've never done this… so let's just go our pace. You're not a lay to me or anything Dirk." I graze his cheek with my thumb and kiss his nose. He turns his head and plants a kiss on my palm.

"Okay." He nods and turns back to the food. "And honestly I've never done this either… Jake was someone I felt I had to be anyone but myself around."

"And with me?" I ask

"I feel like you like me for me." He shrugs with a smile.

"I do." I nod.

He smiles for a bit and sighs, "Cool." He winks at me and slaps my ass. "Go get plates. 2 big ones…"

"Yes sir!" I mock salute and grab some plates. I hand then over and he hands it back full of food. "Sweet." I smile, I haven't had real food in a while… or ever…

"It's my favorite, but if you don't like it we got-"

"Love it." I said in between bites. Holt shit this was great. "Will you be my wife?"

"I do." He smirked

"Aw yis…" I fist pumped the air and went back to eating he was using chopsticks and I… was using them to stab and eat.

"Use them right dude." He chuckled; he held a piece of meat with his and held it out, "see?"

I ate it and smirk "Yeah, I see." I mumbled.

"You prick" He laughed and went to take a piece from me but I blocked his sticks with mine and kept fighting them off.

"No way dude you let the guard down and I all up and ninja ate that shit." I grinned up at him and felt my face flush. He was pouting.

That ain't fair…

Waaaaaaaay too hot. I shook my head and grabbed a piece, "Fine." I fed him the bite and he moaned appreciatively, even licking his lips, nope… nuh uh. I will not tackle him down and kiss the life out of his face. I will NOT lose my cool. He swallowed and then dirk looked at me, with his eyes melting pools of amber shining…

"Thanks for the meal Dave." He smiled

I tackled him right there and dragged him to his bed, "dessert, NOW." I growled and wrenched my shirt off him as hot as him in my clothes was; him without clothes was the best. I kissed his lips harsh and pried his mouth open, not that he was complaining. I slid my tongue in and laid on top of him while I pinned him to the bed. I broke away gasping a bit and just kissed his neck, shoulders, collarbone, anything my lips could reach. I kissed him once more and licked the shell of his ear. I won't go all the way with him, but I will ask him what he wants to do.

"Dirk wha-"

"MY LITTLE PONY, MY LITTLE PONY AH AH AH AH AAAAAAAAH!" I heard the theme song blast out.

"What the actual fuck is that?" I asked, I let Dirk go to find and break the thing making the noise.

"My phone… shit, that's my 'friends' ringtone… lemme silence that shit…" He got up and looked at the screen. He sighed and looked at me, I nodded and he smiled a little. "Thanks… don't go though…"

"I won't." I sat on the bed and he sat next to me and answered the phone.

"Hey Jane…"


	13. Chapter 13(SOME SMUT&FEELS)

HOLY SHIT A LOT OF YOU COMMENTED!

From: Lepardlover:  
Yusssss. Feels and Smut all in one chapter! *continues to dance*

KEEP DANCING MINION HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! And yeah, had to give y'all both. You guys deserve to nosebleed.

the-awesome-insomniac

I'm fine with smut being mixed in or in a separate chapter if someone's uncomfortable with it.

Thanks for being linient (these guys below want SMUUUUUT tho ;))

IMaSHIPPERwhatAREyou :  
This story is sugoi and makes me smiles witch is something I don't do much so thanks :) I never really thought of this ship ether but now it's like otp! Also I want the Smut in the story ! It just seems better just put a warning the top of the chapter so others can skip if they want

I don't know why you don't smile more! It's great when you smile! And I'm glad iv'e introduced this ship into your growing armada!

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73:  
I'm all in for smut mixed in as long as there's a warning for those who want to know. This chapter was so ASDFGHJKL! No words to explain how much I incredibly loved it. Still laughing about My Little Pony ringtone. :)

Glad you loved it, and yeah I thought that ringtone would fit… plus it was an ironic cockblock.

Hithereimgeek:

Dirk and Dave... THEY ARE AO F*** OERFECT FOR EACHOTHER! LIKE OMF! *claws face* . And I'm in love with the story! It's so good. I could almost bet you Jane is calling dirk about Jake being a d***. That's my prediction anyway. Thank you for being a SUGOI B*** and writing SUCH A F*** AMAZING STORY! :3 *wriggles eyebrow* more sloppy makeouts XD, and you shouldn't write the LATER SMUT in a seperate chapter thingy, It takes away from the expericance of the story, I mean as long as there's not important stuff being talked about during said "session" the people who'd feel comfortable can skip it.. But I mean it's an M rated story, what should readers expect XD! ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU FOR WRITING IRONICALLY SUGOI! ITS F*** AMAZING! 3

Sup Geek? Thanks for being so freaking happy about the story and calling me a sugoi bitch… I really am. Suck it non-believers! I'm glad you like this and as always, I love newcomers striding right up in my story and reviewing, so thanks! And you're damn sugoi too!

DemontaDark :  
Its about. To go. Down.

(Pst.)  
(Psssst.)  
(Do the ssssmmmuuuuuttt)  
(Nike!)

"MY MOM SAID FOR YOU TO MIND YOUR DAMN MOTHER-FUCKING BUSINESS BITCH! LONG TITTY NO NIPPLE HAVING BITCH!" (fucking love that vid of Dave with John in the back… "OOOOH he said she ain't got no nipples!" Fucking funny as fuck XD) There are things about to go down… and some are coming up… ;P if you get what I meeeeeeeean.

volatileXtimes:  
No problem :p  
Love the fic its Awesometastic *-*  
So f*** cute :D  
(By the way I am a girl :3)

HOLY SHIT SO AM I! I GOT BOOOOOOOBS AND EVERYTHING! O.o but thanks again for the review dog, and for deeming this story "Awesometastic" That's the best adjective ever… of all time.

SO GUYS DUE TO EVERYONE SAYING THEY DON'T MIND AND GIVING 2 THUMBS UP (and a dick) FOR SMUT, I WILL INCLUDE IT, I WILL JUST LABEL IT CH.#/SMUUUUUUUT. ALSO FOR ANY OF YOU PEEPS WITH A PESTERCHUM MY HANDLE IS: scarletSoul, I AM TRUSTING Y'ALL! IF YOU HIT ME UP, MAYBE GIMME YOUR USER NAME ON HERE SO I DON'T PIROUETTE OF THE HANDLE! I'M NOT ON A LOT… BUT I AM ON AT TIMES, SO I DON'T KNOW… DO WHATEVS FEELS RIGHT! THANKS FOR THE LOVE/SUPPORT TO THE STORY, Y'ALL INSPIRED THIS SHIT TO KEEP HAPPENING!

ON TO FEELS:

Dave Princess Celestia Strider here, sitting and holding my best new bro with benefit/feel's hand while he talks to a girl who's with the guy he loved on the phone.

Dirk's hand holds mine tight, "Yeah, I guess it has been a while…" He chuckles and pauses, "Yeah, he's been pestering me and AR took his messages… yeah I heard, congrats Janey… Is he treating you well? Yeah? Good… so when's the wedding? I see… that should be fin- what? Oh no way… Can't I be like your maid of honor instead? Janey, I'm not mad at either of you… in fact I'm getting over it fine… Yes I know he's insisting, he's always like that… Fine, I'll do it. If I can bring someone with me… Okay… so is it a boy or girl? Really you think so? Heh. That's English for you… Let… let me speak to him…" Dirk sighed out, his hand shook a little as I heard a guy's voice take over. "Hey Jake, yeah she told me. I'll do it. It's fine she and I worked it out… yeah she told me that too… listen Jake. I forgive you and all that shit. I'm getting on fine. Yes I have. But listen here Jake, you take care of Janey and your children… I will fuck you up if you don't, and you know I could kill you easily. Don't you make her cry. Ever." Dirk said this clearly but his cheeks had tears rolling down them, I brushed them away with my free hand and stroked his cheek. He turned his head and kissed my hand. "Yeah I'm still here, be well Jake. Tell Janey I love her, and I'll see her for her rad bachelorette party and wedding. Fuck that, I'm going to the bachelorette party. Bye." He hung up the phone and turned it off. He threaded his hands through my hair, "where were we?" He smirked

"You underneath me." I recapped for him.

"Hmm… new chapter, me topping now." He pushed me on my back and dove head first for Strider-Lalonde make outs. His hands moved under my-his shirt and pushed it up until I sat up and threw it off. I lay back down and grabbed his face and pulling him to me mashing our lips together forcefully. I felt his hands brush my sides and up to my shoulders I shivered as he lay right on top, our chests meeting and rubbing a bit. I licked his lip and practically forced my tongue down his throat and drank in his little moans as my hand touched his sides. He sat up a bit and straddled me creating a shitload of awesome friction. I gasped as fucking stars flashed before my eyes. He moaned on top and I grabbed his hips jutting forward and digging my nails into his sides a bit. I leaned forward and kissed him before I let my mouth travel along his jawline to his throat. He moaned as I sucked on his adam's apple and licked his collar bone. He kept rutting against me and then he suddenly jerked on my lap and I keened like a girl.

"Fuuuuuuck Dirk… do that again." I breathed

"Shit help me Dave…" he gasped I swear to gog I need to set up sound equipment next time. I could mix that one line and his moans and be richer than his bro… I grabbed his hips and ground against him harder. I was breathing heavier and I kept rutting against him, while he ground down on me. My eyes were screwed shut but I felt him lean down and suck on my neck where it met my shoulder. I let go of his hip with one hand and held his head down on that spot.

"Shit… yeeees." I hissed

"Daaaaave… help me…" He whimpered I felt myself thrust up at the sound of his voice and snapped. I twisted us so I was on top now and grinned down at him.

"I'm taking over now." I smirked and pulled his legs up and over my arms so his legs were spread. I kept his boxers on… If those absconded so would my self-control. I pushed my hips in between and thrust against him making him groan on my name and all the curse words. All of them. I just moaned and kept thrusting and grinding into him, never letting him get used to a rhythm. I leant forward and bit his lip til he opened his mouth. I dipped my tongue in then made him lean forward. "Gotta work for it man…" I teased

"Fuuuuck Daaaaave… Kiss me." He whimpered, I leant in and brought my arm up to hold his head to me, his leg hiked up higher and he moaned into the kiss. He broke away while moving against me. "F-fuck Dave!" He moaned

"Shit Dirk…" I gasped and moved against him harsher and faster, I latched onto his neck. I was biting, licking and sucking while I lifted his legs onto my shoulders. I thrust against him and bit him hard.

"FUCK!" Dirk gasped and I could feel he finished, he shuddered against me and held me close. "Fuck Dave…" he gasped. I didn't keep moving, he was gasping like he just broke water. I brushed his sweaty hair out of the way, holding myself up so he wouldn't notice.

"You okay?" I asked

"Fuck I feel like I'm flying… you didn't finish did you?" He panted

"I'm good." I shrugged knowing he needed to know it wasn't just about sex; "You alright?" hoped he'd get the double meaning.

"Not yet… your turn." He smirked and pinned me down, "I never got to finish being top…"

"You weren't complaining." I pointed out, nodding to his damp boxers.

"Who would? Now shut up." He grinned and took my face in both his hands and kissed me deeply, I let him dominate the kiss, his tongue was fucking magic. Fucking hocus pocus where'd my tongue go? I moaned as his hand brushed my nipple and I shivered and arched into it. He smirked but kept kissing me breathless. I lifted my hips to touch his but he held me down.

"Dirk… don't fucking tease…" I hissed

"Payback for your fridge tease earlier." He bit my lip and smiled down at me. "Mmm, I like this look on you. Hold on a sec." He flashed away and came back with his shades on and a piece of rope.

"Wha?" He shooshed me and tied my hands to his headboard.

"Sugoi…" He smirked and went right to sucking my neck. I squirmed against the rope but it didn't come loose. He sucked and bit my whole chest area. I was probably covered in love bites and I gave zero fucks. I keened when his hand squeezed my ass. "You have one plush rump Dave." He mumbled against my chest. He massaged it and licked down to my navel, dipping his hot tongue in for a sec.

"Diiiiiirk for fucks sake please…" I groaned

"What do you want Dave?" Shit he shouldn't ask me that in that voice! Fuuuuuck. I squirmed as he blew where he licked making it cool.

"Fuck! Do whatever you want!" I snapped, "Just hurry! Please!" I gasped out. I wasn't going to force him, but gog help me if he kept pushing I was going to break free and take him!

"Always so impatient… I thought I said not to rush perfection Dave…" HE smirked. "Oh well, as the knight commands." He kissed up my abs again, licking here and there, and latched on to my nipple, he played and rubbed the other while he sucked and bit mine. While he did that he started to grind against me hard.

"Fuuuuuck yessssss." I sighed in relief while he moved against me. He smirked and ground harder, groaning against my nipple and moving faster. I felt him move lower until his teeth were pulling at my waistband. I hissed and arched my back but gritted my teeth. "Dirk… fuck, y-you don't have to do that… slow right?" I hissed. My dick was practically screaming at me saying I was the dick, but I don't want Dirk pressured.

"It's fine Dave… I want to." He smiled and kissed my hip bone that was peeking out from the boxers now.

I nodded but bit my lip before I gasped out, "fine… but you can stop…" I told him

"thank you…" he sighed I caught the double meaning in that and relaxed a bit.

Then he pulled my boxers down. I flinched at the cold…

And moaned with the heat.

"Oh fuuuuuuuck" I groaned. His mouth was a fucking piece of art. Go back in time and kick that Mona Lisa bitch to the curb, Da Vinci should paint Dirk's mouth… Fuck. He was everywhere, he licked and sucked and right when I lost it for a second he kissed my thigh and I was forced to calm down. I tried not to thrust. As great as he was I could feel this was new to him… new to me too but fuuuuck he was talented. I tugged at the rope to stop from fucking his throat harshly, but I still moved up. "Diiiirk… please…" I whined, he started going deeper and harder and I keened; tugging on the rope again. I felt a snap and my hands were free, finally! I grabbed his head and pulled him off kissing him deeply before I finished on his chest. I fell on my back with Dirk in my arms on top and brushed his hair out of his face, his glasses shining. He sat up for a second, looked down at me and then took them off and laid back down on me, kissing me.

"You look like a fucking angel…" He sighs

"Pfft, right…" I snort

"You good?" He asked me, brushing my hair like I did.

"Fuck yes… thank you." I smiled and kissed him a bit before laying back, his head on my shoulder. I stroked his back for a bit and looked at him. "Are you okay? I mean earlier you were all tense on the phone…"

"Ah, Jake wants me to be his best man… I'll go if you come with me… free food and hotel room… Jane said she thinks she's having twins… a boy and girl." He sighed. "And you heard the threat."

"Yeah… but you're okay seeing them?" I rubbed his back as he drew on my shoulder.

"Honestly, I'm terrified… but if you're with me I think I'll be fine." He smiled up at me, "Will you come?"

"As long as the hotel room's put to use." I smirk

"I'm sure we'll think of something…" He sat up and blushed a bit. He coughed and motioned to my boxer-less self.

"Hey, you stole them…" I smirk but lean over and grab them I slip them on and turn. "I guess we should go clean up a bit before we head to my place." I point to his chest covered in sweat and… aftermath.

"Yeah. Wanna join me for the shower?" he asks

"That better be rhetorical." I smirk and follow his ass to the shower. We stripped each other and cleaned each other off. It was about as innocent as it could be for what we were washing away. We kissed under the spray and stepped out. I dried my hair while he put on new boxers and some black with orange stripes gym shorts and a black tank top. I grab his shirt and rip it off him before I put it on. I flash step to his room and come back with my shirt and pants and both our shades. I dress him my shirt and give him a peck and his shades before slipping my red skinny jeans on. They're coming off at home anyways. I slip on my shades on and grab my backpack. "Let's go." I grab his hand and we leave once he's got his bag and clothes for tomorrow. He wrote a note for Roxy and we went up the last flight before I ushered him into my bare ass room. The furniture was all piled on the center.

"Shit, this will take a while…" He whistled

"Work fast and it won't" I smirk

"Ha ha." Dirk laughed and picked up a random box. I unpacked my turntables and I put them on the side of the wall with my keyboard next to it. "You play?"

"A bit, John wanted me to get into it, and I use it for sound bites…" I shrug

"You'll have to play me something sometime…" He smirks

"Sure." I smile,

We keep getting shit set up and finally all I have to do now is hang my photos up. I decide I'll wait until I finish developing new ones. After we've done enough I strip Dirk and myself and we get ready for bed, with some groping. I finally sweep Dirk up and carry him to bed and hover above him. I trace the heart shaped mark I made on him and kissed it. I lean up and kiss him too and collapse next to him. I cover us up in my card suit sheet and hold him to me. "Night Dirk" He holds be just as tight and sighs.

"Night Dave…" He kisses my neck once and we drift off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Lepardlover:

*Is still dancing* I-I can't stop dancing! D: the smut is too good! Story and feels... this is awesome!

Okay, you can take a break! Glad you dug this ne so much!

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73:

You're motherfuckin b*** t*** wicked yo. They're such fuckin teases too. ESPECIALLY DIRK! Making him best man at their wedding is kinda heartless of them, plus theyre having kids too. That smut afterwards though. ;P  
After this chapter I officially dub thee, BEST IRONIC AND SUGOI WRITER EVER!

AAAAAAAW YIS! BEST BITCH TITS WICKEDLY IRONICALLY SUGOI WRITER IN DA HOUSE! BOW DOWN!

IMaSHIPPERwhatAREyou:

*claps slowly* I love it beautiful

Don't know if you're calling ME beautiful , /O.O/(teehee) or the smutty story, but thanks!

Hey everyone: Thanks for the smut-loving. That was actually my first time writing smut… so hey, hope you all liked it! I hope I can continue to make you're day!

On to post sexy cuddles:

Dave Holy-shit-last-night-was-awesome Strider still here, of course, what would you bitches do without me? I woke up before my alarm for once, so I hit it off; and looked down at Dirk. He was still sleeping on my shoulder face much more relaxed than when he was on the phone or whining beneath me. Fuck last night was the first time I've let anybody close enough to do that, and yet he and I were animals… I felt my boxers text at the memory mixed with some morning routine… I glanced back down to Dirk and smirked. I brushed his hair out of his face and turned my phone on to peek at the time… Oh yeah, I have enough time for this… I shimmied out of his arms and laid him flat very gently. I ducked under the sheet and left a few more kiss marks on his neck and shoulder. I worked down to my prize… I pulled his orange and black boxers down and went to work. I licked his thighs, and kissed everywhere but the main attraction. I felt him shift and groan in his sleep so I dove right in and started to suck.

"Mmmf- Daaaaave." I heard Dirk moan, I felt the sheet get ripped off and he stared down at me, all tiredness covered up with lust I stared right back and winked. "Fuuuck Dave…"

I let him slid out and smirked, "good morning sleeping beauty"

"It'd be great if you would get back to sucking." He groaned

"Mmm… I don't know. I'm feeling tired now." I fake yawned and leant over his chest, put my head on his shoulder, "maybe I'll just go back to bed."

"Dude, that would be so uncool…" He murmured against my ear before blowing, I felt myself jerk into his hips as he did that. He groaned and held my head so he could speak, "You don't want me to think you're uncool… do you?" Dirk whispered

"Wouldn't want that huh?" I ground down against his uncovered dick and watched him moan my name breathlessly. I hiked his legs over my shoulder and ground harder on him before I set him down and moved back.

"Don't leave…" He whimpered to me, and I felt he meant that in more ways than one.

"I won't leave you." I state, I look him dead in the eyes and kiss him, softly but hopefully getting my meaning across. I moved down and kissed his hips. "I promise." I took him in my mouth again, while rubbing circles on his hips while I tried to work him. I've never exactly had dick in my mouth before, but I licked and sucked hoping he'd like it, and if the fact that I had to hold him down from choking me was a sign; I'd say the sign read something like: good dick-sucking bro. So I kept going, trying to go deeper and hold him in longer. His hands knotted in my hair and I looked at him. He was looking up but I could see he was biting his lip. I sucked harder trying to get him to look at me. I licked under and moved so I only had the tip on my tongue… suddenly that phrase seems dirty. "On the tip of my tongue…" huh… I licked the slit and tasted Dirk for the first time. Salty but with a hint of orange… figures. I sucked a bit more, and lapped at his taste. He pulled my head off and brought me to kiss him. He was panting but I heard him as clear as a bicycle horn.

"Boxers off, both…" He gasped, "Now Dave!" He demanded, locking my red eyes with his orange.

"Yeah…" I moaned and pulled my boxers down and kicked them somewhere. I brought myself down and as our hips met Dirk locked his legs around me and began to grind on me. "Shit Dirk…" I growled, I put my hands an either side of his head and plowed my dick to rub with his. I felt his hands snake around my shoulders and dig in.

"Fuck Dave yeeeeees…" He moaned. I drove into his harder but slow and ground him so deep into the mattress I'm surprised the bed didn't break. He hiked his legs harder and brought one hand to grab us both, he pumped fast and then moved to just mine while I ground; he teased the tip and I stiffened and felt myself finish in his hand. I stopped him from pumping and leant down taking him back in my mouth, one hard suck and he screamed my name while I drained him dry. I sat back up and swallowed, moving up I kissed him softly on the lips and then his forehead.

"Let me try that again, good morning Dirk." I smiled a huge grin at him. No smirk, no sarcastic little shit grin, just a full on I-fucking-adore-you smile.

He flashed one back and wrapped his arms around my neck, "Great morning Dave." He kissed my chin, jawline and finally my lips.

"Y'know… I think I like you dick better than pop tarts…" I muse jokingly

"Heh… Have it every day if you want." He smiled and stood up. He grabbed his shades and whistled, "We're gonna have to hurry."

I sat up and stretched, "Can't we skip? Have a long weekend?"

"Not if you want detention with Mr. Spades… he's fucking crazy sometimes…" Dirk shrugged

"Fine… lemme get something to clean us up…" I flashed to the bathroom and grabbed a small towel. I wet it and wiped myself off; I flashed back to Dirk and cleaned him off too.

"Y'know I do have my own hands and arms…" He smirked

"I take care of the Prince… your hands should be kept at the ready… for me." I smirk

"As long as yours are kept pristine as well, sir Knight." He smirked back and stood up to put his boxers back on and some clothes. I threw on his black tank with the purple heart on it, a red hoodie over it and some ripped blue jeans. He put on my red and black gears shirt and some black jeans. I tossed him his shades and threw mine on too. I grabbed an apple and orange from the counter and some cash Bro left on the side. He left me a note:

Don't get pregnant lil man

Cal's too young to be a grandpa and me a grandma…

Have a rad day lil dude, I'll be home when you get off school.

Bro

I smiled at that. Guess I have to strife today, maybe without Cal there for once… I put the shit in my pockets and tossed Dirk the orange he smiled and threw me my backpack. We flashed down the stairs and then went on to ironically skip to school eating our fruit and laughing at stupid poses we froze into when a car passed. Vriska honked at us as she passed so we danced.

"Hahahaha shaaaaaaaake it Stiiiiiiiider!" She drawled and drove away. I saw Karkat in the car with his Uncle looking pissed so I dipped Dirk down as he passed and he cracked a small smile before flipping me off. Maybe he's okay today. I nodded back to him and kept walking with Dirk. He just grinned and took my hand in his.

"By the way… make sure to talk to Karkat… he may think you're pushy but I think he needs someone, who isn't even a friend yet to just go up to him and say it isn't his fault." Dirk mentioned

"Yeah, I will at physics or something… I'm kidnapping you at lunch." I smile at him

"Huh?" He smirks with his eyebrow quirked

"Well, I figure we can flash step to get lunch and proceed with making out for the last part of the hour." I smirk

"Sounds like a date." He smirks

"It's not." I deadpan

"It's not?" He looked a little disappointed

"This is a make out-lunch I'm going to plan our first date and make that really special. So don't make any plans tomorrow." I smile

"Okay" He grins and holds my arm with both his hands.

"Let's get to Megido's class before she gets all 'oni' on us." I recall her saying something about her mentioning a quiz. "There's a quiz today right?"

"Yeah, but it's just the alphabet and a few sentence practices, you'll be fine." Dirk nods

"Cool" I nod and we make our way to Rose and the group. Rose has on a pink and black dress with purple bits added here and there. It's way too nice for school. "Sup Rose? Going to a witch's party?"

"Hello Dave, no actually this is the dress Kanaya made for her project in fashion design. I will be her model." Rose smiled and pulled my-Dirks tanktop down a bit to see one of the dozens of hickeys I had. She eyed Dirk's smirk and nodded to herself. "I will have to leave now to get my pass from Kanaya's teacher, but I will see you later Dave… I know I will." Rose drifted away and I saw a green and black blur bounce to her and then a squeal.

"Dave!" I saw the blur was Jade, she skipped over with her science shirt and a blue skirt with green leggings bound over. "I heard you were here! Sorry I missed you! My dog came to the school while I was working at lunch and I couldn't stop by!" she laughed

"Heh, that's fine Jade how you doing?"

"I'm just fine Mr. Cool kid!" She grinned, "My pumpkins are HUGE!" She gave me her bucktoothed grin and looked at her watch, "I've got to go! Class is in one minute! I'll see you 2 cool kids later!" She ran off waving.

I glanced at Dirk who had his hands in his pockets, I grabbed one out and smiled, "Race you." I then flashed away. We made it to Megido sensei's class and she smirked at our hands locked together.

"Kekeke yaoi ne?" She grinned

"Ma, sugoi." I nodded and we sat at our seats, she passed out the test, which Dirk and I finished no prob, so we played and ironic game of flash patty cake, Megido even joined us and we talked in Japanese while the other kids just looked at us like we were crazy until Megido-sensei glared at them. I was just laughing it up until the bell rang and I saw Karkat walking toward physics I nod toward Karkat and wave bye to Dirk. I see Karkat and throw my arm around his shoulder. "I saw you smile today." I tease

"Strider of all the brainless things to dredge up from your think pan that's what you come up with?" He sighs

"Hey, I figured you hated me, I take what I can get out of a grumpy Karkitty." I smirk

"Fuck that nickname in particular." He growled out

"Nepeta called you that." I shrug, "It fit."

"She can call me that you nook biting ass fuck, not you." He huffs

"Awwww why's that?" I fake whine

"She's special." He grumbles

"Because she might like you? Or because of your guilt?" I shoot out.

"…Fuck off Strider." He pushes past me so I do what I think of first.

"It wasn't your fault!" I shout to him, he stops and turns slowly to look at me over his shoulder and shakes his head. I shrug and follow him toward class, but when I got in he wasn't there. Just Sollux and Aradia, I walked up to them and sat down. "Where's Karkat?"

"he texted me thaying 'fuck thrider I'm thkipping.'" Sollux pointed to f=his phone, showing me an all caps version of the message.

"Where's he hiding?" I ask

"Why? Lithen you thould leave him be if he actually botherth to thkip, meanth he'th feeling bad." Sollux pulled his 3-d shades off and glared at me with one blue and one brown eye. "Don't fuck with him athhole, he'th hurt enough."

"I'm not trying to get in his pants, I just want to talk to him." I sigh

"He's either in the clinic with a book or hiding in the far left corner of the library." Aradia spoke

"AA why would you thay that?"

"I think Karkat needs this too… especially since Terezi feels the same." She shrugged. "Go tell him Dave. He needs a new friend to beat sense into him…" Aradia smiled, "Sollux will explain to his sister-in law." She grinned as Sollux sighed out a quiet 'fuck'. I nodded and left, going to the clinic first. I stepped in but some guy stood up wearing a white coat and green threads.

"Hello, I am Dr. Scratch, may I help you?"

"Hey doc… is there a shouty little guy in here?"

"There is no one here I'm entertaining at the moment."

"Alright, thanks doc." I nod and flash to the library, I go to the far corner and see Karkat there, huddled up in his way too big for him hoodie whimpering as he listens to music. "…Karkat?" I whisper

"What the shit eating imps do you want douche-baguette?" He growls quietly

"To talk… I heard what happened… not your fault." I sit next to him, "So why punish yourself?"

"Because asshat… It was." He sighed, "I… am afraid of everything… Gamzee's the only one I know to be myself around… back then he needed me just as much… but when we were there, I wasn't helping him… I hurt him. And then he hurt everyone BUT me!" Karkat started to get red in the cheeks and cry, "I was always calling him an idiot or a jackass back then… he would shrug it off, but he only had me. And I was such a gog-damned shitty friend. I'd put him down… and then when he's around his 'family' needing me to give him support… I wasn't there…"

"Listen, Gamzee's moved on, yeah he needs you but he's with Tavros… and he's better, His family are the ones that left him, and you took him in… he's happy now. You deserve to be too. Unless you plan to be the next Hitler or something…" I joke near the end to help him laugh, he snorts and flips me off.

"That was the worst ending ever…" He mutters

"Or the best ironic one…" I shrug, "C'mon, you think you're to blame? Then talk to Nepeta, and Equius… and Gamzee. Ask them." I shrug

"I already did. They said it was fine, and I wasn't to blame…" He grumbled

"Well there you go Kitkat! You're redeemed… go get TZ." I grin and he glares at me.

"I can't…" He growls

"Why not?"

"She's seeing Vriska now… She told me this morning." Karkat started to tear up a bit more and ducked his head into his arms and legs. Sitting fetal, and looking so small… like the world was crushing him.

I patted his back, "Fuck…" I murmured while Karkat silently cried next to me.


	15. Chapter 15

IMaSHIPPERwhatAREyou:

awww poor karkitty! dave is so sweet *fangirl moment* im such a gay m*** lol

Boy/girl, gay/straight all I know is you like the story and you dig it enough to tell me dude! So thank you.

LeoLady:

The FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS. So. Many. Feels. Poor Karkles D: Between the fluff and the feels, this was fantastic!

Thank you, all you guys are fan-tastic too! May your feels keep coming!

Dave Fuck-me Strider here, and I'm currently holding a crying Karkat as he whimpers over lost love.

I DON'T. KNOW. WHAT. TO. DO…

I rub his back and pretend he's Dirk. "It'll get better dude… you don't know for sure… I heard TZ liked you anyways."

"How the ever-loving fuck would you know? You just got here…" He growled softly

"I don't, but I do know that you'll feel better if you at least TELL her. Trust me on that, if you don't it will haunt you, at least you'll know if you try your hardest and get shot down…" I tell him as I remembered John and I's talk… "You just have to try…"

"I've been trying… she barely notices me… I'm not funny like Vriska nor cool like Gamzee… I'm not anything…" He whispered

"Dude your Karkat Motherfucking Vantas… I can see they all dig you! Sollux defended you when he thought I wanted in your pants. Aradia told me where you were because she was worried, Kanaya followed you yesterday because she cares for you… Gamzee said you help him stay sane… and had that horrible incident not happened he might not have met the love of his life Tavros. You're kind of their leader Karkat." I rant, "Leader's don't give up without a fight."

"… I'm a cancer to them… I shot Nepeta down… then she got hurt, Aradia only knew about that library because I told her about all the old books… I helped Tavros start the jousting club for his dad and he got paralyzed… Terezi's blind to sight, not my feelings… she's protecting herself from me and I DON'T BLAME HER." Karkat snarled, "I have HURT EVERYONE in some way! I'm not a leader… I'm a cancer." He hugged himself and teared up harder. I pulled him into my arms and gave him a hug, patting his head and shooshing him when he started whimpering.

"You're not a cancer… you're just thinking badly of yourself because you're too nice to see that the world's shit. Life is shitty Kar… so make it less horrible and get some love. If what you think is true is… TZ will shoot you down and Dirk and I will take you to get ice cream, and bitch about boys, girls and shitty celebrity break ups. We'll have a girl's day out." I smirk as he looks up and barks out a small laugh.

"Wha-hahahaha… a girl's day out with 3 guys?" He bites his lip as he tries not to laugh more.

"Fuck yeah. Manicures, make overs, and shoe shopping all around. We'll be sexy bitches in that mall. Hell, we'll be the sexiest." I smirk

"…fine… but if she doe's shoot me down we're watching all the romcoms I want."

"Ugh… fine." I fake shudder then stand up. "C'mon we need to get to the last bit of phys-" the bell rang. "Well fuck…" I felt my phone buzz and saw a text, "the fuck?"

Hey a22hat, aa took your bag two gym for you.

"That's from Sollux… that's his text quirk." Karkat told me looking over my shoulder as best he could.

"How'd he get my number?" I ask

"He's an ace hacker… his brother before teaching here worked for the FBI as an intern while in college. Sollux is even better…" Karkat shrugged

"Shit, cool." I nod and give Karkat a small one arm hug. "Good luck Kitkat, you'll be fine! Ask her at lunch… Give her a candy apple! She was eyeing yours yesterday!" I call out before getting shooed out by the librarian, Mr. D. Droog.

"Fuck off Strider, your nicknames suck!" Karkat smiled and I laughed as I made my way to the gym.

"Not as much as my mouth!" I shout back I laugh at how red he gets and even Mr. Droog smirks. I turn and see Dirk walking down the hall so I flash next to him, "Miss me sexy?" I purr in his ear.

"Definitely… especially your mouth." He smirks, guess he heard my comment.

"Kitkat needed a laugh… Vriska stole Terezi I guess." I sigh

"Aw shit… really? I mean I know they're good friends… maybe make out buddies but dating?" Dirk huffed, "We could ask her at gym…" He offers

"Nah, I talked him into talking to her… I won't interfere unless Kittykat wants it."

"Fuck how many nicknames does he get?" Dirk laughed

"I guess until I run out… jealous?" I joke.

"Maybe…" He smirks

"Sorry 'bout that babe," I hold his hand, "I guess you're too a-Dirk-able for nicknames…" I grin at my shitty puns

"Dave that was so lame I loved it…" Dirk smiled and we turned the corner to see Aradia with my bag.

"Thanks for grabbing it… Thought I'd be back in time." I explain

"It wasn't any trouble. I explained with Sollux and Mrs. Captor-Pyrope let it go since she said that 'drama's just another part to a rad life's story' so she excused you but warned us not to make a habit." Aradia smiled

"Sweet. So we're good?"

"Yes, you're 'good', is Karkat?"

"Sorta? Vriska spider-snatched Terezi apparently" Dirk started

"So Karkat's going to lay his heart out and deal with it…" I finished, "Oh if he's shot down Dirk, we're having a romcom filled girl's night out with him…" I smirk

"Cool" He nods, "Mani-pedis?"

"Of-fucking-course!" I gasp, "how could we not?!" I tsk and shake my head, "For shame on you for implying that is optional!" I nod to Aradia and olly out into the locker room. I get to my locker and throw my bag inside and grab my clothes. I look and see barely anyone's left so I take my shirt off thinking no one'd be here… but Dirk… He was behind me changing so I pulled the shirt on and kissed his shoulder where one of the darker marks were. I swatted his ass and grinned over my shades, "hurry up babe."

He grabbed my shirt, and pulled me in his arms (not that I was complaining) and moved his hands under my shirt to roam my chest. He kissed the hickey on my neck and licked it. "Don't play with fire Dave…" he let me go and put his shorts on and walked ahead of me.

"Hey way to leave me hanging…" I whine.

"You'll get burned…" He smirked.

Oh hell no…

I pulled him back and wrapped my arms around his stomach. I licked behind his ear and rubbed him over his gym shorts. "We'll both burn then…" I whisper, I let him go and grabbed only his hand so we could head to the field.

"So not cool Dave…" He whimpered, I stopped and he bumped into me, I felt his excitement on me and smirked I guess I'll fix it.

I kept walking and suddenly said, "Roxy having sex with Vriska."

"…That killed it, thanks." He sighed

"No prob…" I shrug as we start practicing archery. I glance at Terezi and Vriska and see them acting normal… not really lovey-dovey or even flirty… I nudge Dirk while we wait and nod toward them.

"I don't know… Terezi isn't exactly girly… Nor is Vriska." Dirk shrugged, I nodded and noticed Vriska looking over here and winking.

"She's flirting with me…" I tell him. He immediately stiffens and holds my hand I look up at him and pull my shades down so he can see, "Dirk. I'm not leaving." He nods but gulps a bit. "She gives me arachnophobia anyways…"

"Heh… yeah it's just… It was Vriska's cousin in France that Jake cheated on me with… and I think she knows…" Dirk shuddered

"Fuck, does bitchery run in her family?" I ask

"Not Ms. Serket… but probably…" He nods

"Fuck." I sigh, I hold his hand tightly and smirk at him, "I don't really dig bitchy girls…"

"Do you like girls?" Dirk asked

"Guess I'm bi or something, but…I don't really care. I like you." I state, I smirk at his blush his blush and rub my thumb over his hand. "It's your turn." I nod to the bows. I watch as he stands and shoots a few but then I feel someone or thing tap my shin.

"Hey Cool Kid!" Terezi cackles

"Hey Terezi… sup?"

"Why do you smell so confused?" She grins, "Boy trouble? HEHEHE"

"Guess so… how's your girl trouble doing?" I asked casually

He face looked confused, she mouth even looked like a question mark, "What girl troubles?"

"Aren't you dating Sp- Vriska?"

"HAHAHA! No we're just in an open LARP relationship! She asked me to be her date for the movies tonight that's all!" Terezi laughed

"How can you even watch a movie?" I asked

"Dave… that's offensive." She frowned, "I can 'see' fine… just not with my eyes." She took her cane and pointed up, "It's clear today after the rain," she pointed to the track, "there are 2 girls and a guy running there… and Dirk is right behind you." She grinned, "He smells like you! HEHEHE!" She grinned and looked at him, "Dave and you huh? Vriska's gonna be sad!" Terezi grinned, "She owes me $4.13 now!"

"You bet?" I asked while Dirk laughed

"Yup! HEHEHE, I just knew you'd get together before she got you! Thanks for the money!" She walked backwards then turned to tell Vriska who looked pissed and sad for a sec before calling us all dumbasses and stomped off. Terezi ran after her

"What's that about?" I asked

"Who knows with her? She's probably upset that she was wrong. Or her supreme luck didn't work?" Dirk shrugged I nod with him but I thought I saw tears in her eyes… Nah… I moved foreward and locked in my arrow, I shot it and watched as it hit the center, again and again I got the bulls-eye or near it.

"Well done Strider. Excellent even, you and Lalonde can advance to basketball with Ms. Peixes class if you wish.

"Peixes?" I turn to Dirk

"She's the swim captain and right now she's doing dodge ball in the gym." Dirk grinned

"She is a most… excited teacher." Mr. Zahhak nodded, "It is your choice…"

"Sure, if you want to Dirk." I ask, he nods so we start toward the gym.

"Rose is probably in there." Dirk recalled, "Guess this is what she meant by seeing us."

"That's fucking creepy how she's all 'seering' and not even giving me a spoiler alert to my own damn life." I rant, "Maybe I need a bit of surprise! Spice it up y'know?" I ask Dirk as I hold the door open for him.

"I could surprise you later if you want." He smirks

"I don't know… I don't love all surprises…" I smirk back

"You'll love mine." He gives me quick kiss before he steps into the main gym room where there's rock playing and kids dodging. I step in after him and go up to a woman who's wearing horned goggles like Feferi and shouting for everyone to stop slacking. Her hair's short except for two long ass braids going to her thighs.

"Zahhak send ya to me?" She grins as we nod, "Alright then fresh meat, get all in that mosh pit and dodge some balls!" She grinned and we smirked before flashing in. We dodged and pulled some pretty funny poses, including one where Dirk stood on his hands and I was a pin-up girl posing. The teacher laughed at us, "C'mon those noobs are making fun of you! I can't have them sexy-ing up gym, none of y'all serious enough!" She laughed and grabbed a ball and threw it right at Dirk, I flashed and caught it, throwing it back.

Well fuck. I hit the teacher…

"Well fuck." I sigh

"Shit…" Dirk groans

"You little bastard!" She groans, "nice throw…" She grins and throws it hard and hits me, "Be on your guard though!" she chortled as I skid back.

"Yes Ms. Peixes…" I groan

"Meenah. My batterwitch aunt is Mrs. Peixes. Bluh." She grinned down and held out her hand, "Get up Shades Mcflashy."

"That is the worst nickname ever" I smirk

"Bluh, go get cleaned up." She smirked I nodded and followed Dirk to the locker room. I changed and headed off to math I see Tavros being wheeled by Gamzee and head over to them talking about random shit. I study Gamzee when he's not looking and notice the three scars running down his face diagonally. I remember what happened but he seems so calm and happy with Tavros it's pretty hard to believe someone so relaxed could be so dangerous… he's huge yeah… but he's calm. The wildest thing about him is his indigo eyes and wild hair.

"hey Dave, guess what? I get to get have my surgery early! T-they said my vitals a fine so I am going in Sunday! I-isn't that cool?" Tavros smiled

"That's awesome Tav, we'll be waiting so we can all run around." I nod

"We'll be all up and dancing Tavros, it'll be a motherfucking miracle."

"W-well I'll still need physical therapy… but I could be up and standing in a few months!" He smiled

"That's going to be great." I nod at him.

"Freaking bitch tits wicked Tav-bro." Gamzee nodded

I saw Vriska up ahead, she glared towards us and then go into her own classroom. She looked like she was glaring at Gamzee of all people. I figured something's up with her… I shook my head; it's not my business… I walked in to math and we all did our math with Mr. Ampora but he was pretty chill with us talking and working in groups so we dicked around a lot too.

"Hey, I gotta skip lunch guys, meeting Dirk for lunch outside." I told them

"Okay Dave, have fun!" Tavros smiled, Gamzee smirked and laughed a bit before mentioning "sloppy make outs" and wheeled Tavros away.

I headed down to my locker and saw Karkat with 2 candy apples. I smile and give him a double thumbs up. "You go KittyKat!" I smirk

"Oh go fuck yourself douche sack!" He smirks back

I flash to him, "By the way, they're not dating."

"I should've know Vriska was lying…" He sighed, "and…uh thanks for… earlier Dave." He blushed

"No prob man… we're friends now right?" I shrug

"Yes I suppose so. Still think you're an irony obsessed insufferable prick… but we are friends." He smiled a little. "And hopefully we can go on double dates soon or something…" He heads toward the cafeteria and turns, "you coming?"

"Nah, I got a lunch plan." I wave him off, "Good luck! May the force be with you and shit man!"

"Yeah yeah…" He growls out

"Miss me?" I feel someone smirk against my neck.

"Absolutely…" I reply, "Where do you want to go?" I ask

"Anywhere…" He sighs and kisses my neck once.

"I think we'll find somewhere closer." I joke and take his hand as we go out the door.

"Let's just go… somewhere or anywhere…" Dirk smiles

"Sounds good." I nod


	16. Chapter 16

IMaSHIPPERwhatAREyou:  
Hell yea! Thanks the only reason I'm openly saying that I'm gay is because of this story and stuff It's kinda ironic... HEHE :)

That's awesome dude, be as sugoi-ly gay as you want! WOO!

DEAR FANS I APOLOGIZE IF THE UPDATE DOESN'T SHOW UP UNTIL LIKE 6AM (EASTERN TIME)I POST AT MY NORMAL 1:30AM~ TIME BUT I DON'T GET THE EMAIL NOTICE UNTIL 6:45! SO I GUESS JUST CHECK AT 2AM (EASTERN) AND IT SHOULD BE UP!

Dave Luncheon Strider here, walking with Dirk to a shop called Somewhere. Dirk said they had bomb food so we head in and a sweet looking older lady wearing glasses look at us from manning the front.

"Hi there boys, just 2?" She smiles I nod and she leads us to a small booth in the corner, "My names is Quin, but just call me Nanna, and is there anything you'd like to drink?"

"AJ for him and an orange soda for me." Dirk smiles, I smirk and nod while she writes it down.

"Okay boys look over these menus and I'll have your drinks right out." She walked away and I put my arm around Dirk and looked over the menu I saw something good on everypage.

"Damn how do you choose?" I huff

"I know man… I always have Nanna surprise me. Can't go wrong there." Dirk suggests

"Yeah? Alright I guess 2 surprises then… You come here often?" I ask

"Yeah, it's a nice quiet place even busy, it feels homey." He nodded

"Hmm… who with?" I ask

"Huh?"

"Who do you come with?" I try not to sound jealous but I see him smirk.

"Just me, although I am a sexy beast to be jealous of." He smirks

"Oh fuck you" I blush

"Later." He whispers and blows in my ear. I shiver but bite my tongue since Nanna came with our drinks.

"So what can I get you 2?" She smiles

"Just2 surprises here for my girlfriend and I" I smirk

"Hoo hoo hoo! Young boys in love, how cute!" She hoots, "Alright I'll get 2 surprises then!" She walks off and I feel Dirk lean into my arm around him. I bring it off the booth and wrap it closer around him.

"Y'know, even though it's only been a couple of days… I really feel like I've known you a long time…" Dirk sighs

"Yeah," I agree, "and I feel relaxed around you too… even without my shades on." I hold him tight and turn my head to kiss him softly of his lips. "You're my very own Prince…" I sigh and kiss him softly again.

"And you're my Knight in shining red armor." He grins back. He threads his fingers with mine and I sigh happily leaning my head on top of his.

"When is the wedding?"

"Next weekend… It's not too far…" He starts

"I don't care about that; I just want to make sure you'll be ready." I assure, "Dirk, I'll be right there with you."

"Thank you… Seriously man… thank you." He softly smiles and kisses my lips.

"Not a problem." I smile back, I look down so he can see my eyes over my shades, "Seriously, don't be afraid to tell me something…"

"Okay… uhm there is one thing…" He fidgets a bit so I back up and look at him

"Yeah?" I rub his arm and he blushes

He leans forward and whispers to me, "I never had sex…" He moves back even redder. I chuckle at his new found shyness. It's the epitome of kawaii…

"I figured…" I say, "You were only with English… and no offense, he seemed not /up/ to it." I wink over my shades and he laughs.

"Oh gog… yeah, we only kissed like twice? And he barely held my hand.., not like you he was always holding those two pistols of his for adventuring…" Dirk sighed, "This is pretty uncool huh?"

"Nah, Bro always said to make sure I loved the person… and I never was close to anyone. I didn't trust anyone… So I've never had sex either." I kiss his cheek and smiled at his blushed ears, I leant in and whispered; "We'll go slow. No pressures… until you're ready then we'll be fast and frictioned." I smirk at his gasp.

"You fucking tease…" He growls lightly, I just smirk and put my arm back around him.

"You love it." I smirk

"I do…" His hand went to the front of my jeans and palmed me firmly, "I love dishing it too." He smirks

"You-" I stop when Nanna Quin comes out with a bunch of plates and puts them down.

"Okay boys, here's a breakfast sampler of fried apple fritters, 2 small orange cream dream pancakes, and mini doughnuts and some lunchtime chicken tacos. Little brunch for you, now eat up! Hoo! Hoo!" She whisked away and I looked at all the food she put down.

"Holy shit." I grab an apple fritter and bite. Oh holy shit that's good… "Shit yes." I moan and pop the rest in my mouth. I felt him stiffen as I winked and moaned again. This shit was like a cinnamon bun with apples on top… I'm going into Apples Anonymous; addiction's a powerful thing…

"I didn't even know she had these…" Dirk smirked he bit into the orange pancake and moaned too, "oh my gog…" He bit into the more.

"You gotta try this Dirk." I held a fritter out with extra icing on it for him to try. He bit it from my hand and moaned, licking the icing off his lip.

"That's good, here try this." He held his fork out and I took the bite, licking the fork as I moved the pancake into my mouth. I moaned and swallowed.

"Think this is our new spot…" I smile as I lick icing off Dirk's lip.

"Yeah…" He sighed, he kissed me quick and went on to eating, I started tucking it away too. Zahhak's class wears you out. We ate, trading bites here and there and when we asked for the check Nanna brought us some cupcakes to go.

"On the house for you boys." She smiles we thank her and leave a huge tip. Gonna have to tell Bro about this place. He'll like it a lot.

"That was nice." Dirk smiled

"Yeah, we'll definitely come by here for lunch more." I nod, I grab his hand and swing it while I hold the cupcakes in my other. We walk in silence and I smile thinking over how I should take Dirk out tomorrow… Maybe Bro can help me think of some ideas.

"So do you want to come over again?" Dirk breaks the silence

"After I do a quick strife with Bro and shower, he probably wants to talk too. I'll swing by after." I say

"Sure." He nods

"Don't get too lonely with me not there." I smirk

"I'm sure I'll find something to do… probably tinker with my rocket-board or something." He shrugs and looks at his watch while we enter the school, "You need to head to Makara-Leijon's class. Starts in 10…" He sighs

"Just need to drop this off and do something real quick." I walk to my locker and open it. I stash the cupcakes and grab my bag.

"What?" He ask

"This." I swoop him down and kiss him hard before the bell rings and people leave the cafeteria. "See you in history."

"I'll meet you there…" He sighs and walks off

"HEY STRI-DOUCHE!" I hear Karkat growl

"Hey Karkitty, what's up?"

"I-I asked her out…" Karkat blushed

"Yeah and?" I urged

"She said she promised to go to the movies with Vriska… but she'd like to go see the new romcom with me on Saturday." He smiled

"Aw snap itty bitty Kittykat got TZ to go out with him!" I hold my hand up for a high five and he just snorted and touched one finger to my hand.

"Vriska was pissed though… way more than I thought she could be… She even called a blind freak…" Karkat sighed, "She's a bitch but not an emotional bitch…"

"Huh… do you care about that?" I deadpan

"Wha-"

"I mean, do you think you should back off TZ just because of that? Or are you gonna stay true and keep her even if Vriska's your enemy?" I stare at him through my shades, "Because if your love is that weak then give up on TZ now and save her the heartbreak."

"Listen here you hipster Dr. Phil wannabe, I love Terezi… more than you love your shades or irony or even Di-"

"Doubt that. I love my irony." I stop him

"Whatever, point is I was making an observation, and I WAS going to mention she was looking for you." Karkat growled

"Me? The fuck why?"

"HOW SHOULD I KNOW?!" Karkat growled, "JUST… be careful… she's a crafty bitch… she was the one who fucked with the library lights that Aradia was hurt in…" Karkat grumbled

"Fuck…" I say, "She's… unlucky… nah… bad luck." I guessed

"I don't know… but I feel like she's happy with everyone hating her… and I get that." Karkat sighed, "I hated myself more than others would admit to hating me."

"I doubt anyone hates you Kar…" I sigh and walk into the English class, "Let's just relax. Spider bitch can't hurt me anyways." I smirk, "I'm too damn fast."

"Whatever fuck-biscuit." Karkat sighs and sits next to me with Nepeta and Equius in front of us. Nepeta looks purr-ty happy and Equius is even sweatier. But I sigh and relax while the teachers show us the complicated ships setting sail in Hamlet.


	17. Chapter 17

IMaSHIPPERwhatAREyou:  
yay go karkitty! love this story!

Thanks bro! Glad you like it

YO WHERE BE Lepardlover, DemontaDark &PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73?! I MISS YOU BITCHES!

Back to Blonde Hotties!

Dave Karkat's new bff Strider here, I'm walking toward Art with Nepeta and the oh so eloquent Equius when I see Vriska skulk into the art class before us.

"Miss Serket I think it would be a bit triggering to leave with even one of my students here, after all-"

"Yeah, yoooooooou have bigger issues, the janitor found triggering vandalism on the gym walls and can't clean it. Goooooooo help him the words are very huuuuuuuurtful." Vriska drawled

"Oh my, I must help at once. Students, please don't do anything triggering while I am gone." Mr. Vantas walked out of the room in a hurry and Vriska turned toward me.

"Striiiiiiiider, I need to speak to yoooooooou." She grinned

"I have art to do, without my mad genius here class will go to anarchy! Can't do that to them."

"Either you come, or I will stay heeeeeeeere… with you guys… and Taaaaaaaavroooooooos." She smirked, I saw Gamzee twitch and start to get up but Tavros held his hand.

"D-don't Gamzee, its fine." He stammered. I saw Gamzee grimace but sit back down. He gave me a pleading look so I gave a small nod. We can't have Tavros hurt or feeling down before a big operation.

"Fine, lead the way Spider-Queen…" I sigh

"Glaaaaaaaad to hear." She turned and led me through the halls until we came to a stairwell.

"What do you want?"

"I want a loooooooot of things… money, power, everyone to bow down to me like they do… but right now I want you goooooooone Strider…" She smirked

"Why the hell do I need to abscond? Fuck why do 'yoooooooou' want that?" I ask

"Because yoooooooou're fucking my shit up." She shrugs, "Terezi with Karkat? That's patheticly mismatched, and that juggalo belongs in a cell… Yoooooooou seem to make eeeeeeeeverything seem all happy go lucky for everyoooooooone. I'd bet my 8 lives you're just as sad as anyone else." She smiles but it doesn't meet her eyes. I remember what Karkat said, I just need to push her.

"Nope" I smirk, "not anymore, I fixed my problem… maybe you should work on yours."

"The fuck is my problem Strider?!" She growled

"The fact that you want everyone to hate you, it's obvious you want the opposite. Just ask." I deadpan and readjust my backpack, "I'm out, this session was free; next time I'll charge you." I turn to leave slowly but she doesn't call me back. She grabs my bag and as I turn, she punches my face.

Fuck that hurt, I might actually punch a girl…

"The fuck Spider bi-" I stop, she's holding her fist but crying. Really crying. Hard and shit…

"Fuck you Str-strider." She barks and turns around running up the stairs. I flash step behind her and she turns around only to fall in my arms.

"Careful with the stairs…" I warn

She just holds on to my hoodie and sobs, "I want him to hate meeeeeeee!" She cries

"Who?"

"Tavros….. aaaaaaaall of theeeeeeeem! I've hurt all of them! But they keep me around! Why?" she wails

"Vriska… okay leggo the shirt and sit down." I huff. She keeps sniffing and crying, she takes off her glasses and I can't help but snap a picture before she notices… I get the feeling her tears are a new thing to her. "Okay, Vriska… if you feel like that why don't you fucking apologize?" I deadpan. I doubt beating around the bush is going to work with her.

"I can't" She whimpers

"Why not, I'm sure Tavros will accept." I nod

"He's weak….. I hate him…" she growls

"He's kind." I state, "There's a difference, he's a good guy like that."

"That's the point! He'll forgive me….. I don't want him too." I sit next to her and cock my head.

"Won't you feel better?" I ask

"I don't deserve to take his kindness…..… it's easier having them hate me then me hating myself… easier to hate them than myself."

"But you hate yourself too." I point out

"YOU CAN'T CHANGE! I'M A HURTER, I HURT AND HURT AND HURT AND YOU CAN TRY TO CHANGE BUT YOU CAN'T! YOU DO SOMETHING TERRIBLE AND WANT TO TAKE IT BACK BUT YOU CAN'T! THEN YOU WORK HARD TO TRY AND WIN THEIR TRUST BACK, YOU TRY AND TRY AND TRY AND YOU CAN'T!" She yells

"You can still try." I tell her

"I can't….."

"I doubt that." I stand, "Take the first step." I hold her hand and pull her up.

"No….. you take the last." She pushes me, but I just flip down and land safely, gotta hand it to Bro he beat those skills into me damn well.

"So now you want me to hate you?" I smirk

"Fuck off Strider….. thanks for trying, but you're time's been waaaaaaaasted." She drawls back to her old self. "…see you in history." She nods and leaves

"I don't hate you Vris… I might even like you if you stop trying to hurt me." I smirk up the stairs

"It's a sign of affection…" She quips back

"Then you must love Tavros." I laugh but she stiffens and then plays it off.

"That weakling? Noooooooo waaaaaaaay." She just turns and walks up the stairs, "Laaaaaaaater." I hear her call.

"See ya." I walk back to art and see Gamzee and Tavros together, Nepeta's talking with Tvros while she sits on Equius' lap. "Sup" I nod to them.

"H-hey Dave what did Vriska want?" Tavros looked scared but curious, I glanced at Gamzee who looked chill but his eyes were angry.

"She just wanted to copy the homework for history, said she didn't wanna hear her sister bitch about it for the whole class." I shrug, lying to them.

"That is quite rare, for her to even suggest doing the homework." Equius noted

"Holy fuck, you CAN speak." I smirk, changing the subject.

"Uh… yes… hello Dave." He nods

"Fucking miracles, Equius is all up and talking." Gamzee chimes in, nodding to me slightly so I know he's going to wanna talk. I nod back and turn to Nepeta's laugh.

"Hey hey hey, Dave, I drew this ship for you!" Nepata gave me a paper and I saw it was a picture of Dirk and I with a red heart between us.

"Wow Nep, that's purr-fect. I have all kinds of kokoro for Dirk." I smirk

"Yaaaay! It's canon!" She grinned

"So you and Dirk are together? That's fucking miraculous brother. Enjoy each other." Gamzee smiled for real.

"I plan to." I nod, "Is there anything cool in this town to take a first date to?" I ask

"Awwww! You should go to the zoo!" Nepeta clapped

"The fair has… horses to ride." Equius said

"T-there's a really cool arcade near the peir…" Tavros smiled

"And an amusement park too." Gamzee added

"I think Gam-Tav wins… Dirk likes video games…" I tell Nepeta so she's not sad. "I'll take him to the zoo another day."

"Heehee, it's fine! Equius, do you wanna go to the fair to sketch the horses tomorrow?" She turns, Equius just sweats and nods.

"I'm going to take Tav out to the movies… have him all up and chill before his fixing up." Gamzee smiled and held Tav's hand

"Well, there are dates being handed out like cheap cigars here." I smirk. I turn my phone on and snap a couple pics and pocket it before the bell rings. I wave goodbye to them and see Dirk waiting for me outside again, "Hey" I smile and grab his hand stuffing it with mine in my hoodie pocket. He rubs his thumb across and I smirk at the tingles.

"How was art?" He smirks, "heard Vantas had to go help clean some graffiti."

"He did, meanwhile I was kidnapped by Vriska into a stairwell."

"What? She didn't… try anything did she?"

"Nah, she tried to threaten… and… well we had a feelings jam actually… She's not too bad." I shrug

"Huh?"

"I'll explain on the way home." I squeeze his hand and sit next to him in history. Vriska walked in, saw me and nodded. Her glasses were back on and she wore more blue eyeliner. She hid the red under her eyes with it well. She sat next to me and smirked.

"Heeeeeeeey Dave." I nod to her and suddenly notice she has a picture of Nic Cage in her binder.

"You like Nic Cage?" I snort

"Yeeeeeeees, how could someone noooooooot?" She smirks

"Here, talk to this guy on pesterchum, he'll talk to you abou him for hours." I hand her a scrap of paper with ectoBiologist written on it, "He's a funny guy."

"Okaaaaaaaay….. thanks." She smiled a bit and tucked the paper into her jeans. I nod and turn to talk to Dirk about his classes while Ms. Serket sets up a movie for us. We spend the class cracking jokes and even Vriska jumps in every once in a while with a wise crack. Her sister glares at us but seems to let it slide since Vriska's laughing. We shut up a bit and just pass a piece of paper between us and write all our wise cracks and chuckle when one's really good. The bell rings and Vriska stands up. "See you guuuuuuuuys laaaaaaaater!" She laughs and goes out the door.

"That was the first time I've seen Vriska laugh or smile that wasn't from someone being sad…" Dirk stared in awe.

"Just a little Strider magic." I smirk as we grab the cupcakes from my locker.

"Care to share?" I give him a small kiss, but as he goes to deepen it I pull back.

"I can't give you your special brand in public! I will go to jail for being too damned sexy with you on a public surface." I smirk

"Then let's get home so you can strife and be done with it…" He smirks back


	18. Chapter 18 (Lots of smutno sex)

IMaSHIPPERwhatAREyou  
:(. Did the others leave! What happened!? I'm the only one reviewing this awesome story!

I don't knooooooooooooow… but I do thank you for being there dude! And THEY'RE BACK!

Lepardlover

It's Cannon! Yaaaaaaaay! All of the ships are going on right now, it's a freaking armada setting sail this chapter :D Sorry for not reviewing, but life happened D:

GOG DAMN LIFE, COCK BLOCKING MY FANS RAD AWESOME WORDS…

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73:  
Fan-f***-tastic! Everything is kawaii. I'm even starting to feel bad for Vriska, empathetically. I always though Nanna sprite was awesome, ever since she first came in. I feel Dave's obsessive liking for apples cause that's what I have all the time. :)  
The relationship between the two is really growing and with the details you put in is really grand in the way that I can picture it without having to read paragraphs on the scenery. I'm terrified on how Dirk is going to react at the wedding and if its going to be too much feels for him at once. Then, there's the strife/talk with Bro and lastly, their first official date. I'm truly excited to read the upcoming ironic as f*** chapters from you. :D

WOOO glad you noticed Nanna-quin was Nannaquin! I was hoping that'd stick! I'm glad you like it so much! Thanks!

licht:

Ok so I know this is completely off topic to the story but what if sometime after the wedding and there back at school everyone was talking to each other at this lunch right like a picnic then crashing in and yells at dirk about someone on the phone and it was dirks REAL mom and she was like"I'm so sorry..he threatened me about something" and she said that he wanted to know where you were and right when dirk was asking someone behind him says "hello dirk did you think you could escape me?" and it was miles (the red miles) and he freaked out and his mom was still crying on the phone and said it was his brother (miles abused him alot in the past when he was really young leaving scars) and everyone was really concerned bcuz dirk broke his cool kid act...idk but it sounded cool

That's actually a pretty rad concept, and I might use that for writing, but I have a different thing coming up. However this is so cool I may have to use it! Thanks for the idea, that's really cool of you!

Hithereimgeek:

So many ships! :3  
Once again another b*** t*** amazing chapter! So sugoi! THANK YOU! 3  
That food sounded amazing, now I'm hungry

Awesome, (I'm actually a chef in training) I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER THEN! ;D

the-awesome-insomniac

I really love this chapter dude. Some people forget that Vriska has other emotions then huuuuuuuuge 8itch so that was chill as ice. I like your characterization of everyone in the story though...sorry I don't comment on that like ever...or comment in general. I'm pretty awkward with words but rest assured I'm a huge fan of your story and check it daily. I hope you keep up the good work (not that I have any doubt on that )

Thanks for getting along with the idea of Vriska, I mean yeah she's a 8itch, but she actually did do a lot of that shit to try and make things better. She was a knight, who really wanted to be a knight… and as for your words, they don't feel awkward at all, but there is no pressure, I just missed you guys! Thank you for saying you're a huge fan, that's really chill of you and I hope my work does continue to make you happy.

Miiyoki Thanks for being my new story follower!

On to the Strider-Lalonde pair:

Dave Cupcake Strider here, I just recapped what happened with Vriska and I during art and Dirk was surprised. I took the whole walking time describing what happened; he sat on the steps in front of the complex.

"She's hurting huh…" He sighed

"Yeah, everyone has different feelings… I guess she just had a different method of expressing it…" I nod, I turn to face him, "I guess we'll have others to double date with… if she gets with John."

"John?"

"Yeah, he's the guy I liked… goofiest nerd ever, overbite that was pretty damned adorable and always sees the good in people… I think he'd be good with Vriska." I shrug

"You won't feel jealous will you?" Dirk asked quietly, I stoop down and grabbed his hand.

"Dirk, I have mad amounts of feelings for you, they outweigh the feelings I held for Egderp so much they look obese. Gotta put my feels on a diet or I'll have a heart attack from too much Dirk." I smile, he smiles back a bit too but I see he's still insecure. I drag him up and behind me and to the small lobby. I use the elevator since Bro never would and pull him in. We ride in silence, once we're halfway I punch the emergency brake and push Dirk against the wall and attack his mouth. His lips tango with mine and I work my tongue in as soon as he takes a breath. He sucks on my lyrical appendage and I groan into his lips. I push my hips against his and drop my bag and cupcakes. I grip his hips and slide against him. He groans out my name and a few unintelligible words but I still understand. I smirk and rut into him harder, biting his neck and sucking on his Adam's apple.

"Daaave- fuuuuck" He moved against me and I backed away and ripped my shades off and his. "Why-"

I press my hand to his cheek and keep him quiet with my thumb pressed to his mouth. "Dirk I'm not fucking finding anyone better than you. You're perfect." I stare at him, "Got it?"

"Y-yes…" He mumbled

"Say it" I demand

"I'm… perfect." He sighed and nuzzled my hand. I leant in and kissed him lightly.

"And sexy" I continue

"Sexy…"

"And sugoi…" I whisper in his ear while I press against him again

"a-and sugoi…" He gulps, "Dave…I-"

"And kawaii…" I grin and I lift his shirt up.

"unnnngh." He moans as I kiss his chest.

"Say it!" I growl and nip his nipple

"Ka-waaaaaaaii…" He moaned as I sucked his nipple

"Mmm… keep moaning for me." I smirked and undid his belt. I pulled them down and kissed his hips, his thighs and all along the edge of his boxers. I lick right along the top to his belly button making sure to look him in the eyes. I pull away, "I. Won't. Leave. You." I stand up to kiss him for a sec and hold his cheek. "Got it?"

"Y-yes." He smiles for real and I kiss him once more before sliding back down.

"Good." I lower his boxers and kiss his hip before licking him.

"F-fuck Dave!" He gripped my hair and I smirked before going back to work, I licked him and kissed the underside. I rubbed his hips with my thumbs and kept working him enough to excite but not take him in my mouth. "Shiiiit Dave please…" Dirk whimpered.

"What do you want Dirk?" I asked softly, I rose up with his hands still in my hair and kissed him, "Tell me what you want."

"Shit Dave I want your mouth…" He leant down while pulling me up and kissed me hard, "I want your talented fucking mouth." He smirked

"As you wish." I smirk and sink back down taking him in my mouth completely drawing a loud moan from him.

"FUCK!" He cried as I sucked hard. I couldn't stay here too long or Bro would go looking. I worked Dirk over with my tongue, and pulled up to suck the tip harder while my hands worked some DJ magic over him. Fuck I still need to record his moans. I felt his hands tighten in my hair as he moaned again when I licked a certain spot. I focused there and led one of my hands to my own hard on. I moaned around him at the touch from my hand and Dirk bucked harshly. I felt myself smile even with a mouth full of Dirk. I hummed again and let my ears ring with his grunts and moans. I sped up my hand and sucked him harder pumping him in time with myself. He yanked my hair a bit and I gasped and he fell out of my mouth. He sat on top of me and grabbed us both, started to pump. I moaned and bucked into his hand; I grabbed his dick and pumped him while my mouth latched to his. He swiped his thumb over my slit as I did the same. He hissed while I moaned. He pulled his tank top on me up and sucked on my chest, I gripped hi firmer as he bit down on my nipples. He licked them after and blew making my hot flesh cool down.

"Fuck Dirk…" I grunted and let go of him to push up on him while I pulled him down, rubbing him against me hard.

"Daaaaave." Dirk groaned wantonly and finished, coating himself. I grabbed myself and pumped still but he swatted my hand away and latched his mouth on me. Fuck his mouth is warm.

"Dirk!" I groaned and poured myself into his mouth. He sat up and licked his lips while tucking me back into my pants. I pushed him down gently and licked him clean before I returned the favor and fixed his pants. "Hey Dirk…" I sighed into his shoulder after he was back in his pants.

"Hmm?" He hummed while playing with my hair.

"I'm not going anywhere." I smile and kiss his neck, I sucked on it until a large bruise showed. I took a marker out and traced it so it looked like a gear… "That's MY mark… even after it fades, you're mine." I growl.

"Okay." Dirk smiled, he drew me in and sucked my neck he moved and sucked next to it then took the marker from my hand tracing something on me. "As long as you're mine in return."

"Sure that's a fair trade? I'm sure I got more…" I smirk

"Mmm, I'll live." He smirked back.

"Good, seal it with a kiss?" I look at him and he nods. We leant in and kissed for a bit, just a light kiss, deep but not rough. A controlled passion in it… mmm I'm getting all these girly lyrics in my mind when Dirk's around. I stood up and held out my hand, he stood and leant on my shoulder while I hit the button to resume the elevator. I got off on his floor and took him to his door. "I'll be back after my strife." I smile I give him his shades back and he nods.

"Okay… I'll just mess with some shit I guess." He smiles

"Kay…" I kiss his nose and slip my shades back on; I flash up the stairs once he closes the door and walk in the apartment. "Hey Bro, m' home." I call out; I walk toward my room and putting the cupcakes on the counter as I pass the kitchen. I dump my bag and strip Dirk's shirt off so I don't rip it or bleed on it.

"Damn… nice kiss marks little man." He says from my door.

"Yeah they're pretty sweet." I nod, pulling on a black shirt with a red diamond on it. "Ready?"

"Yep, let's go christen this rooftop bro." He smirks and tosses a katana at me. I nod and step out my window to take the stairs, Bro's already flashed up there and has Cal on his shoulder. "Ready to cry Dave?"

"Why? Gonna bore me to tears?" I smirk and flash behind him, he flashes above me and make a slash toward me that I block and side step from. I rush Bro with a back handed parry and kick toward his leg. He side steps with a roundhouse kick that hits my shoulder a little. Fuck that stings. I move back, then flash back and forth before lunging low and trying to kick his chin. He catches my leg and holds me up before tossing me. I flip back and move again but stop… I feel it… I look over my shoulder and Bro's there now; he smacks me with Lil Cal and flashes around. "Fuuuuck!" I snap and hit Cal with the hilt of the katana. I jerk away fom Cal being tossed toward me again, I swing back at Bro and see him step to the side so I spin kick low and see him do a bridge over my leg before he bounces back up. He grabs my collar as my spin turns my back to him and lifts me up by the shirt. He pins me down and Cal's on my face.

"Too slow lil man. Game over." He smirks with the sword by my neck

"Fuck, fine." I growl tossing Cal to him and getting up.

"Not bad with the spin kick, but you got keep the body tighter for that or your back is open like before." He compliments/teaches me. We drop from the roof access to the hallway and step inside.

"Got it" I nod, and grab a bottle of AJ from the fridge.

"So you're gonna have to fill me in on that Dirk kid downstairs. Roxy just says he's a good kid and Rose says he's a 'fine man'… you?" I set my drink down and think.

"… he's… imperfectly perfect." I think out loud. "He's not a saint, but he is a great guy… he's scarred but not broken… and he's willing to be mine if I'm his." I shrug like I didn't say the cheesiest shit. I've had triple extra cheese pizza that wasn't even half as cheesy as that. I grab my AJ and sip it while Bro thinks it over.

"So you have a real tsundere kawaii dude, who makes your kokoro go doki doki?" Bro asked, snapping his fingers.

"…yes that's exactly it." I chuckle at Bro's shitty metaphor. I spit out girly ass poetry and he plays back some anime love shit.

"Good. Here though, don't wanna be unprepared." He tosses a small box at me and its condoms…

"Uhhh." I see it says "gay" condoms on them and a rainbow heart is in the corner. "Da fuck?"

"Listen I know that you're young and hormones are raging wild but if you wanna go ballistic wrap dat dick in plastic." He rhymed

"Oh sweet mother fuck…" I groan and hit my head on the kitchen counter. "Brooo…"

"Ooh cupcakes! Dibs." He grabs a chocolate one and leaves with it. "Go shower and then see your boyfriend Dave. I gotta head to the club soon to set up for our grand opening." He goes into his room with a wave and I pull out my phone I send Dirk a message saying I'll hitting the shower and I'll be down soon. He just sends an ok and I head into the bathroom. I look in the mirror and see the mark he put on me was a heart. I smirk and dip under the spray, I take the quickest shower and skip over the mark Dirk made wanting to keep it longer. I wash up and towel off quickly. I walk out with a towel on my waist to the kitchen.

"See you later Dave, food in the fridge now, and cash for emergencies on the counter." Bro steps out with his equipment and I nod

"Kick ass tonight." I say

"Always do." He smirks and leaves out the door. I gulp the rest of my AJ and head to my room. I grab a pair or red gyms shorts and my record tee shirt. I grab his heart tank and decide to go down the fire escape to his window like he did to me before. I get to his window and I see Dirk…

Lying on his bed.

Touching himself through his boxers and moaning. His shades were still on and he didn't even notice me slip in his open window. I sit silently at his work bench while he moves up to his abs then dips a bit lower, he bites his lip and muffles his groan but I still hear it.

"Dave… I… FUCK!" He notices me and stops moving, glowing red.

"Don't stop." I moan and watch him through my shades. "Stay over the boxers." I order

"Fuuuuck…" He groans and moves his hand to palm himself through his shorts. I pull out my phone and take a few pictures of his face. I stay rooted to my chair watching as his hand rubs over himself quickly.

"You knew I was coming over… why didn't you wait?"

"AR… started flashing pictures of you… on my cp… I thought you'd be gone loooooonger." He groaned as he bucked into his palm.

"Take off the boxers and only rub your chest and thighs…" I growl moving my own hand to my shorts.

"Daaaave…" He whimpers but obeys me and slides his boxers off. He kicks them away and rubs one hand on his thigh and another up his abs to his nipples and pinches them. "Shit…" He gasps

"Suck your fingers and rub yourself softly…" I whisper

"Mmm…" He bites his lips before sucking them; he makes a show too, licking in between the fingers ad flicking over the tips, reminding me of his hot tongue.

"Now stroke your dick." I start on my own and moan softly, biting the back of his chair in front of me to muffle the sound.

"Dave… mmm…" he moans as he starts stroking.

"Slowly Dirk… I want you to drag it out." I smirk, "and while you do imagine that's my saliva, my hand on you, while I'd kiss your chest and neck until you couldn't scream more than my name." I whisper to him.

"F-fuuuuck Dave… get over here." He gasps

"Beg" I grin

"Pleeeease Dave, NOW." He groans, stand up and strip off my shirt, I don't even know why I bother with clothes around Dirk… useless shit. I lean over him and blow into his face. "What do you want?"

"You… t-touch me!" He growls, "NOW!"

"…On it" I grin and pull off my shorts, I went on my knees and put his legs over my shoulders, I thrust right onto him and rubbed us together, he throws his head back so I latch on to his throat and bite.

"DAVE!" He groans

"Uhnnnn Dirk!" I grunt and push against him hard and fast, literally humping him like a bitch. "Fuck, I-I can't go slow." I warn

"That's fine! G-go!" he cries and I rut against him going hard and thrusting fast against him, I grab his ass and pull him harder against me.

I stick two fingers by his mouth, "Suck" I command, and he repeats earlier but messier, he's moaning and thrashing against me. I stick one lubed finger inside him and he stills before my thrusts got him moving again. I move the finger inside him and insert the second, Dirk hisses a bit so I kiss him. "It'll feel way better soon. Relax." I kiss his cheek and thrust my dick against his while trying to keep my fingers still. I start to move them around and soon Dirk's grinding against them and me. We're barely moving now, just me rubbing against him and inside him while he moves back and forth against my dick and hand.

I curve my fingers a bit and thrust and Dirk bites me hard screaming out, "FUCK! DAVE, AGAIN!" I shudder against his voice and rub over the spot I hit in him again and again while he just bucks up and down on my hand. I take his dick in my other hand and rub his tip, he gasps as I grip him hard but no too much and have him rock against my hands. I can't hold out too much longer so I let go and plow my hips into his while I stroke his spot over and over even harder inside him. "Shit Dave I'm-!"

"Do it." I lick his neck and he shoots all over me, his insides tighten over my fingers and the thought of that on my dick makes me groan, I pull away from him and sit on his chest. "open your mouth babe." I whisper. He blushes at 'babe' but does and I guide it in where he sucks me off again. "Fuck I love your mouth." I groan as I collapse onto his headboard.

"I love your fingers…" Dirk gasps

"Love your dick." I smirk, lowering myself so we're face to face with me still straddling him.

"Love yours too…" He shoots back

"Dirk… I think I love you." I smile and kiss him.

"Fuck I think I do too…" He grins and pulls me down for a longer kiss. "Let's take a nap… I'm tired out." He pulls me down next to him and I kiss his forehead.

"Yeah I do that…" I smirk and hold him

"You were saying my name too…" Dirk smiled

"Most beautiful thing to say…" I mumble and drift off. Not seeing his eyes widen and a grin appear, not hearing him sniffle and whisper thanks, not feeling the kiss he planted on my lips softly before he tucked himself under my neck and slept.


	19. Chapter 19-Smutand OH SHIT

LeoLady:

Only Bro can rap about safe sex XD Loved this chapter! Can't wait for the next update :3

That's right. Bro made that happen.

the-awesome-insomniac :  
That was hot. So hot that the air surrounding my screen dried to the point that while breathing as I read a nosebleed occurred. The flames bestowed by the fire this chapter created caused the room they were in to turn to a beacon of pure white kawaii doki power that gave hopeless romatics a renewed belief by merely glancing from the corners of their eye at the magnificence. Seriously thumbs up and hats off to you Kurohana-senpai.

Next time I'll warn you guys to have tissues! Also "Senpai?" I like it. You may continue to call me such! And you're following now! WOOO

Kai-Chan94 :

Nice story. I'm really liking it so far though it might be easier to read if you put a line break after the part where you answer reviews. Just a suggestion that you are in no way obligated to take. Anyways, like I was saying, awesome story so far and I can't wait for more.

I TRY TO PUT BREAKS BUT MICROSOFT WORD TO IS A DIIIIIICK! D: Thank you for digging it! And becoming a follower and favorit-or

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73:  
Hot and sexy and adorable fluffy smut. Wedding is coming soon I hope! :D  
I love Bro and his awesome ways too. Glad to see more soon. :)

Technically the wedding's in a week! But there will always be more!

Dave Cuddle-bug Strider here, I woke up to something stoking my chest, I looked down and smirked as I saw Dirk holding me and drawing patterns on my chest. I shivered at he went below my navel and drifted back up. I grab his hand and hold his nape with my other hand. "Good night Dirk…" I whispered before I kissed him. He kissed back and I moved him to lay on top of me.

"Good 'night' huh?" He smirked as he broke away.

"Well it feels like its… 9:34 PM but I could be wrong…" I smirked; he grabbed his shades and turned.

He whistled, "9:34… damn."

"Knight of Time babe" I smirk and pull him down for another quick kiss, my stomach growls and I break away… "guess Knights need to eat… what about you Prince?"

"Yeah, I could eat I guess." He smiles, I brush his hair out of the way, its soft but held up pretty well still. I brush it and sit up a bit.

"Mkay… delivery or home cooking?" I smile and grab my shorts off the floor and slip them on. I grab his boxers and slide them on for him, kissing him again real quick.

"Mmm, can you cook?" He smiles

"A little but not really…" I shrug, "I'm feeling lazy after earlier anyways." I grin as he blushes remembering what went down. "Don't be shy." I coo as his hand goes over his mouth. "It was…"

"Hot?" He filled in

"Well that too, but I was gonna get all mushy on you and say shit like 'great' or 'magical' or 'sugoi' and kiss you."

"You can still kiss me…" He smiles, I leant with my own smile and kiss him gently, moving in sync and nipping at his lip to have his tongue go in my mouth and me suck on it. I moan around it a little and he breaks away. "So… food?" he pants.

"Kinda prefer this…" his stomach growls now and I smile, "but sounds like we need it." I slide off the bed and grab our boxers. I hold up his and pull them away from him. "Is Roxy or Rose home?"

"Don't think so, Rose goes to Kanaya's with Nepeta and Feferi for a 'overnight sleepwear soire' and Roxy'll be at the club with your Bro. She was sober when she left." Dirk smirked, "Won't be now though…"

"So no one here then…" I grin, then we don't need these." I toss the boxers over my shoulder and grab Dirk's wrist. "Let's go eat." I smirk and lead him out of the room.

"In the nude?" he quirked a brow

"Why not, after we eat it'll make it easier for dessert." I grin over my shoulder towards him

"Kinky fucker…" He blushes

"You love it." I smirk and palm him before flashing to the kitchen.

"Hell yes." I hear him groan and he flashes next to me. I open the fridges and see a fruit salad and sandwiches made with a note Dirk pulls it off and read, "'deer bois *boys, have a gud *good tyme an be safe. –Rox' so she made us food…" He nodded and grabbed the plates, "Get some drinks Dave." I missed this as I was staring at the same box of condoms Bro gave me with a different note on it. I read it, "Before you slip between the thighs be sure to condom-ize. -Bro"

"Son of a bitch…" I groan and just close the fridge before Dirk sees.

"What's wrong?" He asks from the plates

"Bro left us some friendly advice…" I smirk and just show him the note.

"Oh… Jegus…" He blushed as he read it.

"Yeah that's Bro." I smirked, grabbing 2 sodas and walking to sit down, I patted my lap, "Come sit down." I wink

"Heh, I got a chair." He smiled and sat next to me, I pouted dramatically so he leaned on my shoulder while we ate the sandwiches.

"Hmm Roxy's a pretty good cook." I note

"Yeah, there were less spelling errors… she was probably sober." He smiled

"That was nice." I smile and bite into a strawberry. "She drunk a lot?"

"…about half the time… she's a great person either way, but she's lonely I think… and now she's taking care of my sorry ass too."

"Your ass is anything but sorry… it's hella sweet." I smirk and squeeze his for a sec.

He smirks, "Thanks, but I just meant how I'm crashing in their lady apartment and it's my bro taking care of my living…"

"Dude, you're in high school, just wait and I'm sure you'll be able to pay back your family… if anything they'd probably tell you it's fine." I shrug, "Well Rose would say that in a really long fashion with bigger words and a psychoanalytical therapist-y way but yeah. Roxy would like you here for Rose… And…" I mumble a bit drifting off

"And what?" He asks

"And I definitely want you here…" I mumble

"Wow… you really do get shy when you say all these nice things huh?" he leans into one of his hands and turns toward me.

"Shut up man…" I blush

"Ooooh a tsundere? I always wanted one of those…" He smirks

"Bluh, just take my words to heart… stop feeling like a burden." I grab his chin and kiss him, "Okay Dirk?"

"Okay…" He sighs and leans to his my shoulder, then his heart-mark on my neck, and then he brushes my lips. "Although…"

"Yeah?" I breathe out

"Seems weird to have a heart to heart, naked while eating sandwiches; in my dining room." He smiles

"It's ironic, not weird." I smirk, I remember something and feel a grin breaking on my face. "Wait here for a second… be right back." I kiss his lips and flash step away. I decide fuck boxers and use the fire escape to dash through my room into my kitchen, I grab what I need and flash back to his room, and there I grab the rope from before, and the scarf-ribbon from the seifuku dress in his closet. "I'm back…" I grin.

"What's behind your back?" He asks, he tries to stand but I sit him down and straddle him, I tie his hands back and I watch his eyes widen, "Dave…" He groans as I move against him.

"Time for dessert…" I grin and cover his eyes with the orange ribbon.

"Fuuuuck…" He breathes

"Relax… Nothing too bad…" I open the box of cupcakes we got and bit into the vanilla one, "open your mouth babe." I mumble, he does and I kiss him with the cupcake in between my lips. I push it in his mouth with my tongue and back away.

He chews and smiles, "Good shit…" Dirk whispered

"Yeah… sweet." I agree and take a bigger bite, I hold his nape and tilt his head up to kiss the pastry in again while I press down and rub against him, "Fuck Dirk… you're already this hard?" I tease in his ear

"You're the one like a rock." He smirks; I could feel his eyes rolling a bit under the blindfold. I slide and move down licking his neck; he's already a bit sweaty from what we're doing. I move around and find the cupcake and gather some of the icing on my fingers; smearing it from his neck to his navel and start sucking and licking it off.

"God you taste great with icing… Should name cakes after you…" I mumble against his collarbone. I lick back up to his mouth and shove my tongue in, he sucks on it like a lollipop and moans, the vibrations screw with my head but I can't help moving against him harder, smearing some icing on my chest. I back up and he whines, "Not enough?"

"I never liked vanilla a lot til now… gimme more Dave." He groans. I stand up and hold his cheek, I press his face to my chest next to the icing.

"Find it." I growl and he starts licking, moving his face to the side in search. I moan when he fing=ds my nipple and sucks the icing off me. "Fuck Dirk…" I hiss, he lets his teeth graze me and lightly tugs with his teeth and I buck against him, getting icing on my dick. Fuck yes… "Open your mouth again… I gotta cock-cake for you…" I grin at this totally ironic and sexy-as-fuck pun.

He lifts his head and licks a long line to my adams apple and opens his mouth, "Better be good…" he warns

"Oh yeah… best cake you're ever going to have." I grin and stand up leaning to untie him from the chair to lean his face in my crotch. I tie his hands in front of him and grin, "open up Dirk." I push my length to his lips and he kisses the tip. "Mmm, noooow…" I groan. He opens and licks my slit before sucking me in, he works his damn magical tongue and tries to lick all the icing off. He sucks harder and I groan.

"Hold it up, I wanna get all the icing…" He groans I pull him off and grab myself thrusting into my icing coated hand.

"Open wide," I gasp "there's more…" pushing past his lips and holding his head to me I groan, "Diiiirk…" He moans, sending vibrations down me and up my spine. He sucks me until I hit his throat and moves his tongue to brush the underside. "FUCK!" I shout as I feel myself shoot down his mouth, I rip his blindfold away and see his orange eyes piercing me through lust-lidded eyes. "Fuck…" I groan closing my eyes, he's licking the icing off me now and I shudder as sink down in front of him and kiss him. He tasted like the vanilla icing and pure lust, he nipped my tongue and I thrusted my tongue further in before standing and getting the pink cupcake from the box. I smeared it all over Dirk's hardness and started to lick.

Fuck a pink lemonade cupcake?

Genius

So fucking genius, Nanna Quin's like… fucking Paula Deen… no Betty Crocker. I hummed around his thighs as I licked more of the cake off and sucked more marks even as the icing was cleared away.

"Dave… c'mon stop teasing… untie me or shit…" Dirk moaned

"Say please." I murmured against his member.

"Fuck… please" He whispered

"…nah." I smirk and lick some icing from his balls

"FUCKING SHIT!" He cried

"Heh I'm remembering that…" I grin and give him another lick before sinking my mouth on his pink coated dick. He was sweet, sour and salty… mmm Pink lemonade Dirk is my new favorite cake… fuck all the other cakes. All of them… actually I wanna fuck this one… I smile around his length and suck all the icing I can away from him, I add my hands to his thigh and one to stroke the base and just lightly graze his sack.

"F-fuuuuuuckeeeer…" He stammered as I keps lightly grazing his most sensitive areas. I finally started to pump him and brought my other hand to join as I sucked harder, he thrashed and moaned my name like that's all he could say.

I left his shaft just long enough, "Cum Dirk… NOW." I growled and went back sucking harder and deep throating all I could fit.

"DAAAAAVE!" He thrashed and shot rope after rope down my mouth, he was still so damn sweet… and I got all the frosting off. I untied him and he fell on me so I landed on my back on the floor. I chuckled and pulled him to me and stroked his cheek. He moved forward and licked my cheek.

"Missed some icing… pink lemonade?" He smiled

"Yeah…Good shit" I smile and kiss him deeply, whoever says lemons and vanilla don't go together have never done this before, since this was the best flavor ever. Of all time…

"Dave… I need a shower…" he groaned

"Not able to move?" I smirk

"…No…" He sighs defeatedly

"What if I went with you?" I whisper in his ear

"Mmm… that's pretty motivating." He smiles tiredly

"We'll just have a bath and get clean… no dirty stuff." I sigh against his cheek, "I'm spent too…" I yawn

"Mkay… let's go." He stands up and gives me his hand. I follow him to his bathroom and watch as he fills the tub with warm water and bubbles. He looks at me and I nod, stepping in I moan and slide down, shuddering at the cold porcelain. I beckon him to sit in front of me and he does. He washed my hair for me, I scrubbed his back gently, kissing his bite marks that scattered his shoulders. We lazily wash each other and cuddle until the water starts to cool, no words just actions. I hold him in my arms and get out; I dry him and brush his hair. We brush our teeth; I with a red toothbrush Rose bought 5 days ago. Damned seer… and slipped into bed with boxers on just for our own self-control's benefit. We lightly make out a little before he slides next to me and curls against me, I fall asleep clutching my prince until dream bubbles took us away to another world.

I wake up to my phone buzzing like crazy in my shorts. I hear Dirk cooking and humming and sigh, this is the best way to spend a Saturday… afternoon? It feels like 12:06PM so I roll out of the bed, slip on my shades and grab my shorts, putting them on I grab my phone out of the pocket I felt my eyes go wide at the number of texts I barely get them so, 8?! The fuck?

D4V3! K4RKL3S TOLD M3 WH4T YOU S41D TH4NKS FOR HOOK1NG US UP F1N4LLY! :]

I'm guessing Terezi…

Daaaaaaaave! I loooooooove John, we're t8tally going to d8 once he c8mes visit! :::;)

Vriska? Where the fuck did everyone get my number?

SOLLUX TOLD US YOUR NUMB3R COOL K1D! ;]

Oh… okay then

DAVE GET YOU NOOKSTAINING SELF TO THE HOSPITAL. IT'S BAD.

I could just hear this as Karkat's… but what the fuck happened?

dAVE IT'S GAMZEE,,, hE SAW TEREZI AND VRISKA AND BEAT TEREZI UP,,, i DON'T KNOW WHERE HE WENT,

oh god…

Daaaaaaaave pleeeeeeeease get heeeeeeeehe n8w! ::::(

DaVe-BrO, iM sO mOtHeRfUcKiNg SoRrY… iM lEaViNg… :0(

DAVE DO YOU KNOW WHERE THAT IDIOT GAMZEES GONE? THAT BULGE BITER DISAPPEARED!

I just got these last 5… shit. Have to find Gamzee… gotta check on Terezi… Fuck… wait! SOLLUX! He can hack and find Gamzee. I dialed his number from when he texted me.

"Hello?"

"Sollux, man I need your help."

"The fuckth happening for you to call Thrider?" He lisped

"Shit hit the fan… bad." I turn and see Dirk in the doorway looking worried, "Sollux I need you to use your hacking skills and track Gamzee's phone. Now."

"Why?"

"He might try and kill himself or something… I don't know!" I yelled, send me a text as soon as you have it!"

"Got it, I'll find him in leth than 2 minuteth." He replied

"Awesome. Bye." I hang up and kiss Dirk's lips as I throw my shoes on and dash.

"Dave what's happening?"

"Go to the hospital and check on Terezi! I have to stop an insane clown rapper!" I call back. I flash step up the stairs but Bro's keys aren't here… shit I need a car!

I turn and see Rose behind me, "I'll ride with Dirk, Kanaya's looking for Gamzee too. Take my car."

"Thanks Rose." I nod, "Why's Kanaya looking?"

"'Clown Hunting' she called it. Find him and help him Dave… You have a deep way with words…" She smiled, "Go!" She shouted at me. I nod and flash step away, missing Rose sink to her knees and pray. "Keep them all safe… whoever's listening… Please." I flash step down and hit the beeper on the keys, Fuck that's a sick convertible… too pink and purple though. I jump in and see Sollux's text.

He wa2 here but it may be two late, he2 moving fa2t

I see the dot and I think I have an idea where he's headed… "Hold on Gamzee… Terezi… I shift the gears in the car and peel out making sure my katana's in the proper slot of my strife slot… "This'll get rough I bet…"


	20. Chapter 20

the-awesome-insomniac

Holy s***! This is an awesome turn of events, it makes me super pumped for the next update senpai. ᕙ()ᕗ

Relax dear kouhai, for the next chapter is now here! Woo!

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73 :  
I did not expect that plot twist. I feel bad for Terezi since she didn't do anything wrong except trying to be nice to Vriska. On the other hand, Gamzee just finds Vriska triggering, I think. Vriska makes me half bad for her cause she can't forgive herself for the terrible things she's done, yet I'm happy that her and John really click. I really like the conflicts and fluff and smut you have in here, but my favorite is Irony. Excitement for next chapter. :D

Thank you, it's a hard balance of smut, feels, strife, and irony… but I try…

Hithereimgeek:

Like the whole conversion between, hot, sexy, sweet,then just plain HOLY F*** S***! DAFUQ JUST HAPPENED?! Cx I really enjoyed this chapter! Looking forward to more! 3 (cupcakes have been and now always will be my favorite sweet.)

Holy shit your comment squeaked in at the last second! I just got it before I posted this! And fuck yeah… cupcakes.

Thanks to the new story follower: steferstheawesome

You are "the awesome"!

I APOLOGIZE THAT THE UPDATES ARE MORE LIKE 48 HOURS INSTEAD OF 24; MY WORK HAS BEEN BITCH TITS CRAZY! BUT THEY ARE LONGER SO… Y'KNOW… DON'T COMPLAIN.

More Strider time:

Dave Clown-hunting Strider here, speeding down in a pink and purple convertible, I watch the dot on my cell phone stop. I knew he would go here… I turn the car and see the amusement park on the pier, parking I jump out and flash step toward the dot's location. I'm running around until I see the dot go from red to green. I stop and look up.

"The Dark Carnival's Haunted House…" I read out loud, "Figures…" I walk in and see a lady dressed as a gothic Lolita zombie at the counter, "Where's Gamzee?" I ask

"The young master went to his private room, shall I ask him to let you in?" She smiled creepily while trying to look me over.

"Nah, I have a surprise for him." I lie, "Y'see his loved one just heard they're going to walk again, so he needs to get his ass to the hospital for the celebration."

"Oh wow! Okay, I'll let you in!" She smiled and unlocked a polka dotted door. "It's the door with 'miracles' written on it."

"Figures" I nod and walk up, I turn and smile, "You should up the music in here, get the crowd interested…" I lie

"Okay…" She nods and goes into another room. I walk up past creepy painted clowns, polka dots and what looks like blood colored painted words saying 'WeLcOmE tO tHe DaRk CaRnIvAl BrOtHeRs AnD sIsTeRs… :0)' I guess Gamzee paints in that quirk too… I find the door, the handle's been broken off and its on 1 hinge tilted. I see splinters litter the ground, the wall's pictures torn down, and juggaling pins littering the ground.

"Gamzee, you here bro?" I call

"Hey Dave-bro… heh… what's happening?" He sits up from a pile of bike horns

I shrug hoping he'll be relaxed, "The same old same old… you wanna get off the horns?" I ask

"Nah bro… mother fucking comfortable, HONK!" He yells at the end and starts to cackle, it was a low and sinister sound.

I chuckle with him, "Alright, hey so what's up Gamzee? How's your day been?" I ask as I sit on a polka dot black couch.

"Been mother fucking miraculous bro, I'm feeling mirthful after dealing out some justice…you'd like it… it was all up and ironic." He cackles

"Oh yeah? How? I'm always digging some irony." I ask

"That uncool bitch… always talks about justice and wanting to help others… but then she all up and keeps hurting Kar-bro… saw her with spider bitch… and dealt out some justice… She's not gonna all up and hurt my bro more…heheheheheHEEHEEHEE HONK honk HONK!" He shook with laughter and I saw him look up at me through his crazy black locks with crazed indigo eyes, "Pretty fucking ironic huh? She was the unjust one while she spoke of justice for all! WELL I DEALT HER SOME SWIFT MOTHER FUCKING JUSTICE HUH DAVE?" He smirked

"I guess that is pretty ironic Gamzee…" I d

"'GUESS'?! mother fucker I'm feeling MIRTHFUL at this revelation! Like the damn messiahs themselves fucking told me!" He stood up and turned to the window and cackled more, "So mother fucking

"Gamzee, where's your Sopor?" I ask

"That shit rots you think-pan bro… but if you need some mother fucker… it's in the desk…" He grins, "makes you see the rainbows in your words bro, stops you from seeing the truth… but now… I'LL PAINT MY MIRACLES EVERYWHERE!"

"What will you paint?" I ask while I flash to his desk.

"All of my wicked pictures…" He whispers

"Who will you show them to? Tavros?" I ask slipping the bottle in my pocket, I grab 2 red faygos and sit back down

"No… Tav-bro won't see them or Karkat."

"Your family?" I ask

"Those motherfuckers? No… they wom't see them… not yet at least…"

He turns as I finish slipping the crushed pills into his faygo, I hold it out for him and smirk."Wicked elixir?" I offer

"Sure motherfucker…" He ambles over and takes the bottle. He chugs the whole thing, fuck I hope this shit works fast…

"So who are you going to show the 'wicked pictures' to?" I keep talking, hoping Sopor will knock him out

"You." He slams a juggling pin to my head and I fall off the couch with a grunt.

"G-gamzee… snap out of it…" I growl, I roll to the side and stand; pulling out my katana I sway. Shit he's strong…

"There's nothing to snap out of Dave, I'm gonna break your mirthful face… and paint my wicked pictures with your blood, FROM YOUR VEINS WILL DRIP MY MIRACLES! I'LL CRUSH YOUR BONES TO MAKE MY SPECIAL STARDUST!" He growled

"Fuck that Clown…" I growl out and I hear a bang

"Gamzee!" It was Kanaya

With a chainsaw

What. The. Actual. Fuck?

"Heeeey Kan-sis… I'm motherfucking busy… we'll play later…" Gamzee grins before he jabs her in the gut.

She coughs and spits a little blood from her green-black lips, "Gamzee I will not allow this hate relationship you have to progress, now; come forth to the hospital or suffer!" She growled

"Kanaya! Stay back." I stood and raised my katana, "I got this…" I flashed forward but Gamzee seemed to know what I was going to do, he ducked under my blade and hit my ribs with the juggling pin, I hissed and jumped back. Fuck that's cracked for sure… I swing my blade back and strike him in the ribs.

"Mother fuck… you shouldn't hit me with the back of your sword Dave…" He grins

"Sorry… you're weaker than my Bro… gotta go easy on ya." I smirk at his rage and he charges forward. I jump up and flash behind him hitting again behind the knees. I twist and hit him again and again on the chest and arms. I break the juggling pin before he spins and kicks me.

"MOTHER FUCKER." He snarls

"Let's dance jugga-bro…" I smirk cockily.

"HOOOOOOOONK!" He cries and turn but I hit cut with the blade on his chest. He howls so I hit his shoulders with the hilt, but not before he makes a cut with the broken pin across my throat. I feel the blood oozing but compared to my head it's slower.

"DAVE!" Kanaya yells and steps toward me. She starts to check my neck but I shrug her off.

"I'm fine… but I cut him pretty deep…" I curse under my breath… "Give me the sewing kit I'm sure you have." I hold out my hand.

"Here…" She sighs, "I will call Karkat and then-"

"No police. He's crying… he knows what he's done…" I order before threading the needle and starting on his gash.

"Dave…" He groans, his eyes faded and streaming tears, cleaning mine/his blood and paint of his cheeks

"Look who's back to his sopored self." I grin, "Don't move."

"Mother fuck… I hurt Karkat didn't i?"

"He's worried but he'll be fine… well he'll yell at you for a month and you'll go deaf… but you'll be fine."

"No bro… he's not gonna hug this out with me… not this." He coughed while I stitched him up, working fast but neat, hoping it won't scar.

"Just have a feelings jam after you apologize to TZ." I shrug

"…She hurt Karkat…" He groaned, "Or did I?"

"I think… Karkat was hurting Karkat… but he's dating Terezi now…" I explain, "She was with Vriska as a friend now…"

"Vris-bitch said it was a date Friday…" He recalled

"She was lying to make you all hate her…" I sigh, "After all this is fixed, you guys need to have a long Mobius double reach around of a feelings jam… Ya'll have shit that needs therapy…" I smirk

"Honk…" he whispers and starts to sleep from the Sopor. I nod and stand up to see KAnaya say something into the phone and hold it to me. I quirk a brow but take it.

"Sup, Strider here to make your day better." I smirk as I catch Kanaya's lips twitch before she gathers up Gamzee's coat and pills.

"STRI-DOUCHE WHO IN THEIR GOG DAMNED THINK PAN ANSWERS LIKE THAT?!" Karkat's voice crashes on my eardrum

"I do, what do you want Kitkat?" I laugh

"Is he okay?" He whispers

"Yeah… he's fine now." I reply seriously

"…Thank you." He growls quietly but I hear the genuine thanks in it.

"Aw don't cry Karkles." I laugh

"I am NOT crying fuckass! Just get over here so Terezi can smell or hear that you're all fine herself. She's awake and won'y shut up…" He grumbles

"Okay, tell Sollux good job on the tracking."

"Okay." He agrees

"Tell Rose that Kanaya's fine."

"She already knows… weird huh?"

"She's a fucking seer or something…" I laugh

"Strider will you hurry up?!" He yells

"Tell Vriska it ain't her fault." I say seriously

"…I will. Now hurry over here, everyone's here but you guys." He says quietly

"Got ya, pass along one more message for me?" I ask

"Sure…" He sighs loudly

"Promise to?"

"Why?" he sounds worried

"This shit is special, and it's gotta be delivered for sure!" I ironically whine

"FUCKING FINE! WHAT?" He snarls

"Tell Dirk I want to see his dick real soon." I grin imagining Karkat's face

"WHA-GOG-I- FUCKING SHIT NO!" He splutters

"You promised." I laugh and hang up. I toss it to Kanaya and nod to Gamzee, "I'm taking him in Rose's car."

"Very well. You're heading to the hospital too right?" She asks

"Yeah…" I nod, "I gotta package to deliver…" I smirk thinking about Dirk… and a package to receive… I grin and pick Gamzee up before flashing down the stairs and to the car. I drive out and smile thinking of what's to come.

Karkat better deliver my message.


	21. Chapter 21

Lepardlover

Yessssssss, loving this chapter! Can't wait to see if everyone's okay and if Karkles delivers his message ;D

Heheh… just hope Dirk doesn't kill the messenger!

PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73

Wait- Kanaya and Dace are both okay from that right? That's what I'm drawing from the ending. This is Fantastic and definitely captures Gamzee well. I hope Kitkat relays the message, that would be a bit embarrassing for both of them though. I hope everyone will just have one massive feels jam to sort this out. Jumping up and down in my seat for the next update! :D

There's gonna be feels all around…

Hithereimgeek:

You put Gamzee's sober quote in xP wonderful job btw writing as him!  
Once again another sugoi chapter! :D this is like my official favorite story on fanfiction, it's like,, No human words can discribe it. I really look forward to the next chapter! :D

Thanks, I'm totally fucking honored that you like this so much!

NEW STORY FOLLOW/FAVORITE/ ME-FANS:

ModelP

LoveTurtle

Much thanks to you too.

Dave Brodacious Strider I have Gamzee slung over my shoulder with his hoodie over the wound.

"Dave-bro… thanks…" He murmurs

"C'mon, we'll get you patched up and see Terezi, it's all wicked dude." I smirk and walk in the hospital, I turn to a nurse by the door checking me out. "Where's Terezi?"

She snaps out of her daze, "Who?"

"Blind sis, she can all up and smell where she's going?" Gamzee groaned and stood up straight towering over her.

"O-oh… up the stairs… room 413." She gaped up at him

"Cool, thanks." I walk him to the stairs and he takes his time going slow. "Careful on the threads man, my stiichings good but be careful."

"I'm motherfucking fine bro… just need to all up and conserve my strength." He chuckles but I hear the slight hiss under his breath.

"C'mon, I got you." I wrap his arm around me again and we walk up to her floor. Once up I put Gamzee in a wheelchair from the corner and pushed him. Everyone's staring at us and I use Gamzee's huge frame to hind my hand from stealing extra gauze, rubbing alcohol, and a couple of sponges. I open the door quietly and hear the voices all together but two stick out the most. I hear Feferi and Nepeta giggling about the guys going to get teddy bears and candies, Tavros talking to Vriska nervously but they're laughing a bit now. I focus on the two I wanted to hear.

"-kat it's flattering and all, but you're with TZ and I'm with Dave…" I hear Dirk stammer

"Good gog, I'm just passing the message along! I don't want… that! I just- FUCK Dave okay, he asked for my poor protein chute to spew these horrid words together and being an idiotic grub mind I fucking promised to relay his flushed message to you!" Karkat ranted, I felt my face smirk as I realize kittykat actually delivered my message. I stride in with Gamzee and everyone goes quiet.

"Uuuh, honk?" Gamzee grins

"GAMZEE!" Karkat yells

"DAVE ARE YOU OKAY?!" Dirk shouts and I realize I'm still covered in blood and the shallow cut on my neck is closed but the blood dripped down to my abs… plus I never put a shirt on.

"Ooooooooh my gog… Daaaaaaaave are you okay?!" Vriska yelled and snatched the alcohol and gauze from Gamzee's lap.

"I'm fine, gimme that Vris…" I smirk and unzip Gamzee's hoodie, I hear the gasps and Tavros whells himself over to us.

"G-Gamzee…" He tears up

"I'm so motherfucking sorry Tav-bro… I'm fine. Kay? Dave-bro stitched me all up and good here." He smiled

"D-dave… is he gonna be okay?"

"Hell yeah Tav, not too deep. Lemme just clean him off and wrap this up." I smile and set to work I clean the wound and start wrapping Gamzee's stomach. "All good now." I nod

"Dave Strider, where the nook humping fuck did you learn that?" Karkat asked

"I strife with my Bro a lot… hospitals are expensive yo, so we learn." I shrug, "It's helpful." I stand up fully and plop into a chair getting the sponge out of the wrapping and dabbing on the alcohol.

"Will someone fill in the blind girl, why's it smell like red?" Terezi asks, Karkat goes toward her and glances at me.

"Hey TZ, I'm wearing red of course." I smile and start wiping the blood of my body. He nods and starts telling her some things, just not that I'm hurt.

"Lemme help…" Dirk whispers and crouches in front of my chair, he wipes lightly, "Vriska, get me some paper towels?" He asks she nods and goes to the connected bathroom. "Dave… are you in pain?"

"Nah, a little sore but I'm fine Dirk." I touch his cheek and wipe away the tear I knew he was hiding behind his shades and smile, "I'm strong enough for this." Vriska came back with 8 and I nodded her towards TZ and Karkat.

"Better not make a habit of this Dave." He whispers

"I don't plan to… you on your knees in front of me though…" I smirk

"So Karkat was just delivering a message?"

"Yeah. I thought he'd need something to freak about on instead of this." I shrug

"Good, I freaked a little when he just walked up to me going 'I want your dick.'" Dirk chuckled

"That's how he did it? Oh shit that's classi-ouch!" I hiss as the sponge touches my shoulder. I move it a bit and it twinges with some pain. "Fuck, must've hit where Bro got me yesterday…" I remember how I landed on it after Gamzee hit me with the juggling pin. My head had hurt worse though…

"You need to get checked out…" Dirk sighs

"Can't" I shake my head, "They'll take Gamzee away… he just needs to talk and vent all this out… All of them do." I hold Dirk's arm, "I'm fine, just a slight headache and my body's sore. I'm okay." I smile and kiss his nose.

"Dave…" He starts

"No… I can't let him get locked up… unless TZ does…" I look up but I see she's staring at me.

"I won't Dave." Her crackling voice rings, "I already have an idea why Gamzee did it… He only sprained my ankle and bruised me… I can just tell my mom the theater floor's too uneven for a blind girl and pass it off." She grins

"Yeeeeeeeeah but then your crazy lawyer mom will suuuuuuuue and demand they haaaaaaaang!" Vriska laughed and Terezi started to cackle

"WHO THE EVER LOVING FUCK CARES?! GAMZEE ARE YOU OKAY NOW?!" Karkat yelled

"Yeah Kar-bro." He nods, while holding Tavros' hand

"GOOD, NOW WHAT THE SHIT?!" He snaps

"Karkat, calm down. I'll explain a few things, then you guys are going to need to have a feelings jam." I sigh

"That would be lovely Dave." Rose walked in with Kanaya behind, her wrist in a brace and stylishly colored jade green with black swirls. Even decorates a cast… what a pro

"Yeah, thomeone fill uth in too, I had to hack fathter than ever before." Sollux walked in with Aradia who was followed by Equius holding three huge stuffed animals and Eridan with flowers and candies.

"Yeah, wwhat's goin on wwith evveryone noww anywway?" Eridan asked

"This is all very… odd." Equius nodded, giving Nepeta an olive green cat, Feferi a purple, and fusia pair of dolphins and a huge red and teal dragon to TZ.

"Damn Equius you work with plushies?"

"N-no, they are so soft… my STRENGTH doesn't break them… they are for the girls…" He blushed and sweated

"AW! Eridan I love this dolphin! It's so buoy-tiful and sea it's eyes? They look like mineeee!" She smiled

"Equius! It's purrfect, even my favorite color!" Nepeta cuddled her cat and it started purring, "Kyaaaa!" She squealed

"I'm glad to see you've made it in time." Aradia looked at me… "This is something I hoped would happen…"

"Me getting bloodied, TZ beaten, and Gamzee crazy?" I asked

"No, Dave, we're all together and there's literally a smile on everyone's face…" She smiled, "I was hoping we'd come together and now we can commence our 'feelings jam' once you begin…" She smiled and drifted back to Sollux who was laughing at Karkat's blush while Terezi was cackling over liking his cheek.

I smile and hope everyone's ready for a truth bomb to explode and feels to be shot out from everyone. I cleared my throat and everyone turned to me. "Alright everyone… I gotta lot of shit to say and then ya'll will have more to say after… So I wanna start with this…" I recapped what went down with Gamzee in our fight, Kanaya only nodded and Gamzee just loved down holding Tavros' hand while he sat there silently. I finished up with how he was better in the car and we came here and stopped. "That was it, Gamzee snapped because he thought Vriska was dating Terezi who was toying with Karkat's feelings… he was confused and his spoor not in his system." I end and sit back watching everyone's faces. Aradia nodded, Dirk was stone faced, and Rose, Kanaya, Feferi and Nepeta were frowning but thinking. Eridan was mouth a gape, Sollux had his fingers locked together and forhead down. Equius was watching Gamzee now while he gave Nepeta a hug while she silently started to tear up whimpering about "sad sinking ships". Karkat, Gamzee, Vriska, and Terezi looked upset with themselves and Tavros held Gamzee's hand but moved to hold Vriska's too. She pulled away.

"I'm sorry everyone." She started, everyone looked up and was shocked that VRISKA was the first to say anything especially sorry. I nod knowing she's about to let everything hang out in the open. She turns to Kanaya and smiles sadly, "I aaaaaaaalways thought you were the coolest dresser…" She smiled

"T-thank you Vriska…" Kanaya accepted

"Karkat… I thought you were always the best choice for a leader in school… even when I went against you i… I voted for you. Rose you're always so calm and nice…" She smirked and scratched her head. "Nep… your ships are really cooooooool, not lame… Eridan, I'm glad you finally got Feferi, who's happy-go-luuuuuuuucky-ness I adore…." She sighed

"Oh Vriska!" Feferi smiled tearing up behind her goggles.

"Thanks Vriska!" Nepeta grinned

"…yeeeeeeeah whaaaaaaaatever….. I'm not doooooooone yet… Dirk, you're really cool actually. Equius I wish I was able to be as strong as you… even if you are a sweat factory… Gamzee….. I have always been jealous of you…" She paused

"Why's that spider-sis?" Gamzee looked up

"Because… Tavroooooooos… I loved you." She smiled and started to cry a bit. "I reeeeeeeeally loved you… b-but I hurt you… and I'm soooooooorry!" She started to wail and fell to her knees. "You too Aradia and Sollux… I-I hurt you… and I'm sorry…" Vriska started to sniff and I stood up and got her tissues from the bedside table, I handed her 8 and smiled.

"Good work…" I smiled before everyone, even Terezi moved forward to hug Vriska. I backed away and pulled my camera phone out snapping a bunch of pictures. I felt Dirk come next to me so I put it away and hugged him. "I think they're all gonna let the floodgates open now." I whisper

"Yeah… they'll be even closer now." He sighs into my shoulder and we stand there watching everyone talk, laugh, yell and cry over one another.

I hold him tighter and sigh…"Sugoi."


	22. Chapter 22MORE FEELS AND SMUTAUTHORNOTE

ModelP:

First off I want to say thank you. One, for thanking me for following the story but really we should be thanking you for coming up with this stuff. Two. I'd like to thank you for planting what I think are the beginnings of my OTP (JohnxVriska) even though its just a side pairing. I really like how you handled Vriska's character in your story. Most people just portray her as a manipulative b*** and to be honest I thought You were doing the same. but the moment I read the scene on the staircase it really impressed me. You shattered my expectations. I also really like your writing style. Its descriptive enough to get the picture across while not being a giant wall of text that I have to strain my eyes just to separate. What I'm saying is, I eagerly await the next installment.

First off, I want to thank you for your thank you, as lame as this sounds, you guys commenting and favoriting and following my shit makes me happy. It pumps me up to write this wicked shit, (this and awesome remixes/original homestuck songs) and I'm glad that more people are corresponding to Vriska, I mean she is a bitch but she like everyone in the world had problems. And I was hoping to show people that she was deeper than evil. She was, misguided in my view; so you being impressed with me is an ego boost and an all-around awesome feeling, I just hope I continue to please you all.

Lepardlover :

So Sugoi.

Awesome chapter! All up in a little group, letting everything flow. I love it, even if there were noble ships lost in the battle of the feels... Can't wait for the next chapter! :3

Ships that were sunk can still be repaired or made new! I'm glad you're still loving it!

Hithereimgeek:3 words, ThatWas, F***, Adorable! :D excited for the next chapter! :3

Thatwas has now become a new word everyone! Make a fucking note in the dictionary, this shit must be known.

Pepsi-ColaOtaku:

AAAAAAAAAAHHHBBBAHAHAABBAAHA  
That was so beautiful. Just wave after fuckin' wave of PURE FEELS! And then, if that's not enough, YOU ADDED SMUUUUUT! I just want to say...I love you.  
Okay in all seriousness *clears throat and adjusts glasses* the storyline: beautiful. DirkDave: beautiful. The smut: beautiful. Overall: beautiful.  
I can't wait for the next update. I'm just waiting for the wave of feels sure to come from the wedding. I'm glad I read this. Now if you'll excuse me, there's some cold pizza waiting on the stove for me. P-C Otaku owt.

I love you too dude, no worries. Side note, why's the pizza on the stove? Oven that shit!

Xanaischemical:  
CRIES BECAUSE BEST FANFICTION literally I was squealing 98.688% of the time. The other 1.312% of the time I was drowned in massive feels. This was just so awesome just AHHH \(w)/

Which means this story has made you 20% more cool, 40% more sugoi, 40% more kawaii and 100% more ironic.

NEW FAVORIT-FOLLOWERS!

Pepsi-ColaOtaku

Xanaischemical

Phobiakat

ColorlessCherries

AristocratConniptionist

Malweene

GUYS

GUYS

GUYS

I AM SOOOOO FUCKING SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN UPDATING AS FAST, MY LAPTOP WENT AND BROKORO SO I CAN ONLY UPDATE WHEN I HAVE FREE TIME ON MY CAMPUS' COMPUTERS! I WILL TRY TO BE QUICK AND STILL UPDATE, BUT FOR NOW I'VE BEEN SLOWED DOWN… BUT

TO ALL YOU GUYS, THANKS FOR YOUR AWESOME WORDS PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE YOUS ARE AWESOME! NEVER BE AFRAID TO PITCH SOMETHING TO ME OR IF YOU WANT A SCENE I COULD LET STRIDE IN GIMME A PM OR SOMETHING! LET'S MAKE SHIT HAPPEN, EVEN IF I DON'T USE IT NOW I COULD LATER AND THEN YA'LL BE LIKE "OOOOOH I SAID THAT SHIT!" AND I WILL CONFIGURE THE STARS TO MY LIKENESS WITH AN ANIME SPARKLE BY MY TEETH AND A THUMBS UP SO THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES WILL SAY "YOU SUGOI MOTHERFUCKER… WELL DONE"

ON

TO

THE

STORY!

Dave Sigmund Freud Strider here, amidst what I can only call a kumbayah mosh pit of people telling everyone else their feelings. I sat with Dirk leaning on me as we watched. Rose confessed full out to Kanaya that she was reckless but loved her and went to take her to her mom after Kanaya patched up my shoulder. Karkat teared up and confessed how he hated himself for what happened to everyone. Feferi admitted that with Eridan being so rude to everyone else before was why she didn't want to be more than friends right now. He nodded and said she was the only one who understood him at first with his parents expecting so much.

"I was too much rage and you were being so shellfish about everyfin!" Feferi cried

"I'm sorry guys… it's just wwith my parents bein famous aquatic showwmen I got stressed… then angry." He confessed, "So I wwon't let myself get so douche-y anymore." He smirked

"That'll be real thweet athhat." Sollux smirk and lightly punched his arm before Eridan punched him back.

"Whale… Sollux while we're doing this… I just want you to know I was reel-y in love with how in love you're with Aradia… I might have not even been in love with you… So Aradia I'm sorry I moved onto your buoy-friend last year…" She smiled sadly

"Feferi, I was jealous of how bubbly and lively you were… while I'm so dull and quiet you brought life and color… I love Sollux, and I understand if you had fallen for him as well." Aradia smiled

"AA I thtill think you overethtimate me…" Sollux lisped, "But I love you… flushed for you…"

"Red for you…" She replied smiling.

"Aradia," Equius started, "I had long entertained ideas of loving you too… but Nepeta will always be first to me… even I was not STRONG enough to help her… I couldn't have gone through what you went through Captor. You have my respect." He bowed his head low and turned to Nepeta, "And to you, Nepeta… I love you… in every way." He started to pour sweat while everyone gasped a bit.

"Equius! I love you too! Fur-ever you've been like… a pale love! But there's always been a small purr-cent that was… redder… You're my other half!" Nepeta purred

"E-excellent…" He sighed, he had held his breath he turned a deep blue for a bit… I smirked and turned to Dirk and saw him looking at me from the corner of his eyes. I kissed his cheek and nuzzled my face into his neck for a moment before I heard Tavros start to murmur.

"uh… Vriska… I liked you too… sorta I was really confused and thought maybe you hated me… but I uh can't love you… I love Gamzee and I'm not a good enough m-match for you. I was never confident to move on my own… I kept thinking if I waited… and could stand again… I would be more confident… but I never was… you need someone kind but confident… and I'm not that. I'm neither…" Tavros smiled sadly

"Tavros you're kind… stupidly so." Vriska smirked sniffing

"Tav-bro you're a kind, and caring motherfucker… be more confident." Gamzee smiled

"Yeeeeeeeeah Tavros, don't be so booooooooring." Vriska said sarcastically smiling, "Well… that's enough feels for 8 years….. I'm going home… I got a video chat date to watch Con Air." She smiled at me and stood up. "Later guys."

"Laaaaaaaame." I drawl smirking

"Says the topless blonde." She smirks back

"Jealous ho." I chuckle and wave her goodbye.

"Fef… you wwanna get goin for the aquarium still?" Eridan asked

"OH! I forgot a-boat that! I don't want the tickets to go to waste…" She stood up, "C'mon Eridan! We have a date!" She grinned and Eridan looked so happy, he even teared up a little.

"Yeah! Wwe'll see you later!" He waved and ran with Feferi out the door.

"N-Nepeta… shall we go to the fair? To see the cats and hoofed beasts?" Equius stammered

"Yup yup!" She grinned and pounced onto his back with her cat plush, "Do you wanna come purr-ay with us Aradia, Sollux?" Nepeta offered

"I think we're going to go and explore the caverns nearby…" Aradia started

"Yeah, you 2 go have a thweet firtht date." Sollux grinned before he led Aradia out holding her hand.

"Hee hee. Okay! Bye bye guys!" She grinned at us and left on Equius who only nodded and sweat.

I stood up and pulled Dirk with me, "Well I think you guys need some privacy to talk this shit out… so we're gonna go." I explain before smirking at Karkat, "Besides Karkitten, you delivered my message… I have an agenda to keep." I chuckled at his red face and flashed away with Dirk in tow.

"FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKSTICK NOOKSTAIN!" he shouted behind us. I laughed aloud and tugged Dirk with me to the stairwell so no one would see my bandages or shirtless-ness.

"Dave… why don't we do the date tomorrow… you're hurt let's just go to our place and rest." Dirk offered, I stopped and turned to him.

"You don't mind?" I asked, I was willing to man up and theme park/arcade it up, but falling asleep holding Dirk sounded great. Plus, I loved how he said "our place"

"Nah, honestly I want to… when you went after an insane clown… I was afraid you wouldn't come back…" His voice started to shake so I pulled him against me in the stairway and kissed him hard, crushing him in between the wall and I.

"You can feel me, I'm real and here... I'll always come back to you… even if I have to become some fucked up ghost thing." I smile

"Like a spirit?" He breathed out

"That's lame, like I'm some guardian angel? Pfft." I snort shrugging at the thought of me with wings.

"A sprite then?" he suggested

"A whuh?" I quirk a brow as Dirk starts to snicker

"Well, they could be called leprechauns… or an elf… but for you I'd say a nymph." He smirked

"Why's that?" I challenge

"Nymphs are known to be really sexy… and sexual." He answered before licking his lips a little. "And that kiss was sprite worthy…mmm Davesprite..." he whispered in my ear before flicking his tongue against the shell, I shivered a little and grabbed his hand.

"…Let's get home. NOW." I growl and flash down the steps with him to Rose's car, I fished the keys out and jumped in. Once buckled he held my hand while I drove and sang along with whatever came on the radio. "You have a nice voice." I smile and stroke my thumb over the back of his hand.

"Mmm… I don't sing often though." He shrugs

"When I finish writing that song for you… I'll sing it. But you have you learn it and sing it back." I tell him

"…Deal." He smiles and leans over my shoulder, "but don't hope for too much."

"There's not much more I want." I smile and hold him until the lights turned green. I speed quickly but keep us safe and finally we pull in to Rose's space. I lock the car and practically drag Dirk upstairs flash stepping the whole way. We agreed on my place since Bro's going to be gone already and bust into the living room. I push him backwards onto the couch and straddle him. "We never got to have morning fun..." I hum before kissing him harshly.

"Mmm... better make up for it now..." He groans and I smile into the kiss before forcing his mouth open. I remove his shirt and rub my hands across his chest, settling on one of his nipples while I move to suck on his neck. I bite down and his arms wrap around my neck. "Dave..." He moans I move my hips and rub against him gasping at the friction. Fuck this isn't new but he always feels amazing...

"Mmm Dirk-FUCK!" I hiss, his hand moved to my shoulder blade and I had jerked against it. Dirk sat up and looked at my bruise. He took a deep breath and kissed me softly.

"Wait here, I have something for that." He smiled softly and flashed to the bedroom. I heard him leave out the window and I sigh trying to calm little Dave, the pain made it go away some so I just took a few deep breaths and waited for him. "Lie and your back." I heard him say. I opened my eyes to see he held some heating oil or something and sighed.

"Can't it wait?"

"Nope, you're hurt." He then pushed me down lightly and turned me over. He sat on my ass lightly and I chuckled.

"You better not take advantage of me Babe." I teased, I'd be happy if he wanted to.

"Mm... no promises dude." He moaned and started to rub the cream on me. It tingled and started to warm, I moaned a little as the pained soothed and his massaging skills started to make me relax. He worked my shoulders and upper back, moving to my sides. I felt his hand caress my ribs and shoulders softly before I felt his lips at the base of my neck. I moaned as he kissed and sucked there before lightly biting me.

"Tease..." I mumble into the couch, I feel his hands rub my lower back and he lets his fingers snap my gym shorts a bit before sliding them off and rubbing my boxer-clad ass.

"Seriously... this is one plush rump Dave..." He purrs leaning over me to whisper in my ear before licking the shell. I move my arm around his shoulder and pull him down to kiss me. He licks my lip and i open, letting him dominate the kiss and suck on my tongue. I groan as his hand moves to cup my ass over my boxers before he slips under and moves one oiled finger to my entrance.

"Dirk" I groan out as he slowly pushes it in, fuck its warm...

"Relax... it's all for you right now." He sighs and goes back to kissing my neck and back while he slowly moves his finger back and forth. It feels weird but nothing el-

"Oh fuck..." I hiss when a second finger comes to join the fruity rumpus party. I feel him stop moving his fingers while his other hand comes under me and grabs my dick. He starts pumping and i moan into the couch.

"Don't do that... I wanna hear you." He murmurs against my shoulder and I groan.

"Fuuuck Dirk..." I gasp as I turn my head to kiss him. I bite his lip and he grunts, he breaks away and kisses up to my ear.

"Dave... can you get on all fours?" He pants in my ear before biting down on the dark love bite he made on my shoulder.

"Uhn... y-yeah." I grunt as his thumb brushes my slit, his fingers are scissoring slightly and he starts pumping them back in. I lean on my forearms and knees and Dirk Lowers my boxers with his teeth, pumping faster with them gone. "Dirk... Fuck babe." I moan while he pushes his fingers deeper, "FUCK!" I shout once he hits something, my arm give out but I'm still on my knees face against the couch cushions and ass in the air. He squeezes my cock harder and keeps brushing his fingers over my sweet spot, I shudder as his tongue glides over my spine before he moves to lean over me, his hard-on pressing against my ass cheek while he moans against my ear. He grinds against me while he leans over and smirks darkly.

"Dave I want you to moan my name loud when I hit your spot... I want you to moan so loud you wake the whole building... Got it?" He bites my ear as I whimper.

"Fuuuuck Dirk..." I whine, not used to being the one under.

"Dave..." He stops all his movements. "Turn around, and hold your legs up..."

"Oh god..." I groan and turn around. He lays me on my back and smirks while I grab my legs behind the knees.

"So fucking hot." He moans and puts his fingers back inside, hitting my spot straight on.

"DIRK" I groan, he just leans down and takes my member into his mouth while i writhe under him, moving down on his fingers and bucking up into his mouth. "shitshitshit... DIIIIIIRK!" I shout as I release into his mouth. He moves up and some splashes on my chest, he's panting hard and he smirks before he takes his shades off and leans down to lick my chest clean.

"Mmm... I hope you're still up for more..."

"Fuck yes..." I groan

Sweet..." He whispers against my chest before kissing my thighs. He stands off the couch and carries me to my bedroom. He sets me down and rips my boxers off my knees, stripping his own clothes off and leans over me. I feel his hard on against my shaft and that alone gets it harder. He leans so our chests touch and kisses me deep. I moan into his mouth and rub up against his member. He hisses, "Damn tease..."

"You didn't get off yet..." I moan as I keep rutting against him watching him moan.

"I said it was all about you..." He groans and I wrap my legs around him and jerk against him hard "FUCK DAVE!" he gasps

"It's about US, Dirk, now c'mon," I grunt "help me out here!" I hiss

"On it..." He hisses and spreads and lifts my legs onto his shoulders while he thrusts against my erection with his. "Oh gog yes..." He moans he starts thrusting fast against me, humping me into my mattress.

"Oh sweet Jegus fuck Dirk... yes..." I chant, I move my hand to his shaft and grab around him softly squeezing while he thrusts. Fucking my hand and humping me hard.

"Uhn... Dave..." He grunts spilling over me, I wait letting him catch his breath but before i say anything he grabs my ass and pulls himself up to his knees. "Grab the headboard." He hisses and ruts against me even harder, grinding and jerking his hips so deep into mine I can't believe we're not even fucking.

"Oh gog DIRK" I groan, he puts his hand by my mouth and I start licking and sucking it right away, coating his fingers before he rips them away and thrusts them into me, dead on my prostate. "OH FUCK YES!" I shout, I start moaning Dirk's name like a whore and thrust against his hard-on and back on his fingers getting him to brush my spot every time. I gasp as I see nothing but white and feel myself release against Dirk. I let go of the headboard and Dirk barely catches me before setting me down softly. I can feel his hard on still on my thigh. "Put it in my mouth..." I gasp still trying to get air.

"You're tired..." He smiles brushing my hair, I bite his hand to make him stop.

"And you're hard. Put it in my mouth, I wanna taste you..." I smirk as his cheeks look a little more flushed. He crawls over me and lowers himself on my face. I take him in and start to lazily lick the underside, moving to flick my tongue against his tip and sucking him hard.

"Oh fuck Dave..." He groans holding the headboard where I was just a moment ago. He starts to thrust in my mouth so I relax as best I can and feel him hit the back of my throat. I suck hard as he pulls back and taste his release as he finishes with a moan of my name. He shudders a bit and moves of me. I swallow what's in my mouth and smile at him as he lays beside me.

"I feel better now... thanks." I grab his hand and bring it to my mouth to place a kiss on top.

"Mmm just wanted to treat the knight well..." He sighs

"Mm... after a nap, I could use a sponge bath..." I joke.

"Okay." He smiles and kisses me and pulls the sheets over us. "After the nap..." He yawns and I pull him to lie against my chest, facing each other. I move forward and kiss him lazily but loving and sigh when we break away. I brush his hair out of his face and kiss his forehead.

"Goodnight... sweet Prince..." I ironically quote before I drift off to the Land of Dreams and Dirk.


End file.
